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Heard my housemate having a fight with her partner. Should I say something/tell her I heard?

  • 19-04-2022 11:22am
    Registered Users Posts: 1,398 ✭✭✭

    I (F29) live in an apartment with a housemate (F30) and we have separate rooms. We get along, but I wouldn't count us as the best of friends. We live in Germany. (I'm Irish.)

    She and her boyfriend are both Indian and have been together four years. She's been here for three of those four years. He was moving to Frankfurt to start a masters, which is about five hours by train but certainly closer than India. And he broke it off around Christmas, which was before he got here. She thought cold feet, but "we've been together for so long, it seems dumb not to try out now we're in the same country."

    A while back she was away for the weekend. They had met somewhere to chat it out and it seems they are giving it another go. She seemed to be ok about that, so I remained supportive and am not letting my personal feeling on second chance romance colour that.

    However, methinks their reunion did not go to plan/will not last. She has been down quite a bit. A couple of weekends ago told me she was "in the middle of an anxiety moment. I find the weekends hard." I am not sure whether they had an argument that day.

    Yesterday I went into the kitchen to clear out the end of my coffee, and I hear her in her room having an absolute screamer with him. Saying things about how he should be with someone who makes him feel wanted, how he doesn't care for her, all of that. It was not loud enough to hear from my room, but it was from the kitchen. I felt like I had to stay quiet, and it was a little awkward to be in the house. I ended up leaving for a while as I felt it best. I'm not asking for advice on that action.

    I don't know whether I should say something, to comfort her about her situation. What would you suggest to do?


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,242 ✭✭✭thefallingman

    Yes i wouldn't say anything though it is nice of you to care, she will talk to you if she feels it necessary or when she's ready, like big bag of chips has said couples have arguments all the time and some are even blazing !

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,398 ✭✭✭The Young Wan

    Thank you both. I honestly wasn't sure what to do, they should really give you a manual for going back to live with housemates!

  • Registered Users Posts: 5,537 ✭✭✭Jequ0n

    Why would you even consider getting involved? By your own admission your aren’t even proper friends.

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,480 ✭✭✭YellowLead

    if she wanted to talk to you about it she would, might come across as interfering/nosiness otherwise.

    id leave it. Unless there were signs of abuse then to ask her if she’s okay and wants to talk about anything could be an idea - but just a general argument between a couple isn’t really anyone else’s business.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,398 ✭✭✭The Young Wan

    True, but I do live with the woman. I can be compassionate and not be super tight knit.

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,652 ✭✭✭sporina

    sorry OP its basically none of your biz.. no offence.. if she needs support she'll ask/ give you signs.. she might have mates she is talking to.. leave them at it.. focus on your self..