your favourite cycling related story or anecdote

magicbastarder

be it funny, macabre, or just demonstrating the milk of human kindness.

i've told this one here before but can't find it now, but about five years ago i was on the way home from work at dusk, and hit a pothole and punctured under the bridge on east wall road. i flipped the bike over, and was making decent progress replacing the tube - i had the new one in and was just starting to pull the second bead back on, when a woman walked past, did a double take, and approached me with a smile on her face. she was rummaging in her bag, and pulled out a puncture repair kit and offered it to me. i started to explain i was fine, and thank you, etc.; she was quite insistent but i had to explain to her that i was already well sorted, that i didn't need a puncture repair kit, that i just used a spare tube and was nearly sorted; english wasn't her first language so it was a bit more involved trying to impart this information. anway, she was crestfallen. she'd probably been carrying that puncture repair kit around for ages and thought her chance had finally come.

maybe it was just her way of meeting men, i've just copped that now...

cletus

Right, I'll give this a shot.

The Barrow line offshoot of the Grand Canal runs through my home town, and the road beside it was my route for cycling home from school. There are no street lights on this road

I was cycling home after supervised study one winter's evening, with a flask of soup I had made in Home Ec earlier that day.

All of a sudden, a guy in a black leather jacket and black jeans was walking on the left side of the road, heading the same direction as me. I didn't have time to stop or swerve, so I hit him square with the bike.

As I came off this bike, the only thought I had was for the soup in my school bag. The fella and my bike landed in s tangle on the ground. I landed...on my feet. It was the only time I ever did for all the spills I took

magicbastarder

Cram had better retell the story about the deer.

also another one from me, again told here before; my father in law (not a cyclist) arranged a sportive in north county dublin for the lions club in late 2019, first time he'd done it. i heard him remarking - with some suprise - to someone some time later, about the people who had taken part, 'they're actually really normal people'.

(obviously he doesn't consider me normal, i guess)

cletus

I've been trying to think of other stories about cycling. They all seem to revolve around me falling off the bike. Like the first time I learned some front wheels were uni directional...while crossing the road on the bike. The front hub literally collapsed in on itself, and I went out over the handlebars

One that reminds me not everyone on the roads is an idiot or out to kill me, I've likely mentioned before is being stopped at a fresh red light and a van rolling up beside me. Passenger remarked it was a fine day for it and rattled a box of jaffa cakes at me to which I responded "don't mind if I do" and helped myself to a couple. I was then asked where I was heading and I think I was heading for Trim via Kentstown/Navan or out that general way and would have been an 80km+ round trip and the fella says here take another one 😂

MB's above reminds of a man stopping while I was changing a tube and offering me the track pump he carried in his boot which I was super glad of and led me to carry one in the car too. Was used by others twice now.

sbs2010

I'd cycled in to town one evening to meet my buddies for a few drinks. Locked the bike close by on one of those standard silver things.

Had the few pints and all set to cycle home found some fúcker had locked his bike to same stand but managed to lock mine too.

I was effing and blinding and rattling the other bike in rage when this guy strolls up and asks what am I doing. I explain and he says that's my bike, calm down and we'll both get going.

I say sorry for calling him a fúcker and rattling his bike. He's says dont worry, he'd be the same if someone did something so stupid to him!

Another one from when I was at school I was maybe 15, passing the entrance to a primary school on the way, bike went from under me and I ended up on my arse legs in front me skidding down the road with a bus behind me and the bike in the thankfully empty oncoming lane. Diesel maybe on a wet road , I've no memory or it hurting of it even phasing me. The arse of my pants was intact I'd say due to the wet road. I picked up the bike and hopped back on and I remember the bus driver opening the the door on the way by to shout out and ask if I was ok. I distinctly remember thinking to my self did that just happen, the chain didn't even come off. 😁

I even remember the shoes I was wearing, blue and grey Sketchers. They actually made nice shoes back then!!!!!

Morris Garren

We once had a moment of hilarity that almost led to chaos-- it was an inter club league race and the route was effectively a race up the Sally Gap in Wicklow. There were 3 or 4 separate chase-pursuit groups involved. As was common at the time, the race organisers tended to assume everyone knew where they were going, marshals and safety plans were thin on the ground, and there was a general ',shur it will be grand' typically Oirish air about it all.

Anyway, off we went. I was part of the semi-scratch group who were sent on their way over 5 mins in arrears of the groups ahead, while the scratch men of mostly A1 grimpeurs were allegedly 2 minutes behind.

Lo and behold, we ventured left, right and straight on in the early kms before someone with a modicum of concern yelled- 'WHERE DA Fxxx ARE WE GOING??!!?' as we approached a junction. At this precise moment, a full-gas train of A1s came thundering the opposite direction, steaming their way in the direction of the Gap, heads down arses all up and in the zone. Some quick thinking individuals did 180 on the spot and took off in pursuit, others stopped in confusion, arm-waving in the style of a vexed Italian sprinter, while a couple of us exited stage left into the ditch.

It was then I noticed an old reliable and renowned road man, since deceased, standing in a hi-viz jacket at the junction, chuckling loudly to himself---- JAYZIS, DAT WORKED OUT WELL DIDNT IT?

All we could do was laugh. We made it down from the gap before dark....

Kop Idol

Just happened Saturday gone...

Went out on our club Sportive route the day prior to the event to get some km's in. Was up climbing on the backroads up at Loughanleagh (near Kingscourt in Cavan) when I heard that dreaded explosive hiss from the rear. Quick change of tube, blast of Co2 and I was back up and running. Got a further 2km down the road when I heard that hiss again. Dead in the water in middle of nowhere. As I was swearing at the side of the road, a jeep pulls up and the man asked if I was alright and if I needed a lift. He said he was on his way to Bailieborough and could give me a lift. Great I thought, at least I would be closer to civilisation and it would be easier to direct someone to pick me up. So I picked up the bike and went to the back of the jeep whereupon he opened the rear door and turned to me and smiled and said 'that's where I transport the bodies' 🙂

Turned out he was a real character, local cattle farmer named Jimmy (thanks Jimmy !). He remembered there was a bike shop in Bailieborough and dropped me around the corner so I was able to buy a new tyre, tube and got a lend of a track pump to get myself back on the road. Guy in the shop was just closing for lunch but left me the pump and said to leave it at the shop door, that noone would take it.

Gives you some faith in the human race that there are still people out there willing to help you out. If you're ever near Bailieborough, drop in and give Donegan's your business 🙂

marvin80

I signed up for one of those An Post 100km sportives but on the day didn't fancy it so dropped down to the 60km. They had a stage at the finish with an MC on a loudspeaker welcoming everyone back. As I approached I heard him announce 'here we have the first of our 100km cyclists back in a very impressive time'. I had a look back to see who it was but with no-one behind me realised I was the super-cyclist! Very embarrassing! *The jersey numbers/stickers were colour coded for each distance

JMcL

Few years ago I was heading for work after dropping the kids off to school. I was going at a reasonable clip and heard an odd noise behind me rapidly followed by the back end of the bike locking up and fishtailing to a fairly rapid stop. A spoke had pulled through the rim leading to a complete rim failure - it wouldn't spin even with the brakes open (I posted a pic of it at the time here, but can't find it through the state of the search on Boards at present).

The wife was already in work at this stage, and I was about 1.5km from home, so there was nothing for it but turn round to start the slog home, bike on shoulder as there was no way to wheel it (I had SPDs on thankfully - not road shoes). Just at that, a woman in a Landrover, who I'd never seen before in my life, pulled up on the opposite side of the road and offered me a lift which I gladly accepted, and she dropped me to the door going out of her way to do so. So thank you nice Landrover driver, and my sincere apologies if you've ever been on the receiving end of one of my generalised rants about Land/Range rovers