Relationships and online accounts

Meganmilkyway

Throwaway account because I’d rather remain private. Myself & my partner have been having issues. I’m aware I’ve been at fault too. Without getting into too much detail I was made aware he had another account on a forum.. it appears he may have became friends with someone I might be related to. I’m not entirely sure the extent of it because I blew it by over reacting. He’s assuring me it’s not his account, and I understand his frustration and wanting to remain private. But he doesn’t understand my upset about the lies and secrecy, how some of the posts come across in relation to this person. There’s two sides to every story. I’m feeling terribly upset. And we’ve had a heart to heart but I think we’re both about done. Is there any hope? Thanks

Boards.ie: Niamh

Hi @Meganmilkyway welcome to Boards. I have moved your query to the Relationship Issues forum for advice.

manonboard

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058240315/relationships

Sorry OP, im not sure if im understanding correctly. You came to think that your partner has an account on a internet forum you dont know about previously. He has told you that its NOT his account yes?

So are you still of the opinion that your partner is lying to you?

If so, I can only think of 3 things that make it so.

You have created an environment where he needs to keep secrets to feel safe. If you admit that you overreact which you have, then of course its not safe for him to show you everything.

He either has existing insecurities etc, and this is just how he deals with them. Why would he need to have you know about a private account? He wants privacy. I would feel terrible if i violated a partners privacy.

You are wrong and he doesnt have this other account?

YellowLead

I don’t quite understand the issue at play here OP.

I wouldn’t have a clue about all the Internet forum accounts people I date or am in serious relationships with would have, and I woudnt really be sharing mine.

Bit intense if you feel you have to know all of this?

And what’s the issue with him maybe befriending somebody you are related to? As in dating them? Or it’s connected to the forum???

impossible to say whether there is hope or not based on the info shared. Do you believe him? If not why not? If not, is it that big a deal? How long are you together?

Also, you might want to edit the thread title to something more specific than ‘relationships’ to give posters a clue as to what advice you are seeking.

89897

OP there's really not enough here to make any kind of response.

He might be on a forum, where be might have befriended someone you might be related to?! Whats the nature of the forum and what are his posts? Are they crossing a line? Does he know who this person is and that you may be related to? Do they know who he is?

Why do you not believe him when he says it's not him posting? If you think you are both done, then what hope are you looking for?

Sounds like there's issues and this to you is the straw that broke the camels back!

Laverte

If you're insecure about the secrecy then go with your gut. Most times when we feel something isn't right it isn't. Trust yourself. If you're having these feeling now then you'll always have them.

Your opening post is a little confusing, so let me see if I've got this correct.

You've found out, presumably from this person that you're related to, that your partner is on a forum and has befriended them?

And you're concerned about how he "comes across" to that person?

You confronted him, and he told you it is not him, and not his account?