Phrases Or Sayings You Would Change or Amend, to Give Them a More Correct/Opposite/Whatever Meaning.

Just like the title says. Are there any sayings that you feel are wrong, or don't go far enough, and they would be better served with a 'toon up' , or a complete overhaul..?

Maybe you can think of funnier or more humorous ways of conveying some well known - or lesser known even - proverbs , sayings , maxims , idioms , adages , axioms, or even synonyms.. 😁

I'll start with a few..

#1. "If you're planning on revenge, best to dig two graves."

modified version: "If you're planning on revenge, plan better, and let the other kernt dig their own grave."

#2. "An eye for an eye makes the whole world go blind."

no it effin doesn't..

modified version: "An eye for an eye only serves to leave two people visually impaired."

How the whole world gets a mention is beyond me..

#3. From The Bard: "He jests at scars who never felt a wound"

Possibly true, but a more likely reason is...

modified version: "He jeers at scars who feels similar wounds."

I see this kind of thing in threads when someone is ridiculing someone else's (mentioned or inferred, could be either) shortcomings, and I think to myself: "they're afflicted by similar, and merely want more 'info' , so as they can 'feel better' about themselves."

#4. From Oscar: "The only thing worse than being talked about is 'not' being talked about."

Disagree with this one, but am unable to come up with a succinct variation.. 😊

Anyone got any others they'd like to add ?? 😋

Have At It Folks! 😃

moonage

 "People who live in glass houses shouldn't."

McGinniesta

"I could care less"

I would charge it to

"I couldn't care less"

or

"I could care more"