Our Missing Cat

Baybay

There are older threads about missing cats but rather than resurrect one, I decided to start my own. Obviously if mods want to merge, that’s fine. TIA for reading.

Our much loved, spoiled & cosseted twelve year old cat walked past me in the kitchen last Thursday just before 5pm, left through his cat flap & hasn’t come home since. I watched him go out. I saw him sit outside the door for a couple of minutes & then I went off to do something else. I don’t know which direction he decided to go in. He rarely left our garden, in daylight hours certainly so I don’t have a clue where he might be likely to have gone. Until Thursday, he hadn’t spent a single full night outside.

We’ve called the vet, the council, put notices on FB, in the local shop, through the doors of all the houses on the street. We’ve walked to places we barely even knew existed in our town as people very kindly thought they might have seen him. We’ve walked early morning, late at night. We’ve shone torches into gardens & under hedges, we’ve called his name. We’ve left his litter tray outside to encourage him home. I’ve made bargains with any deity that’d listen. And my heart aches with the nothingness.

I’m trying to hope. But although he’s in good health, based on his last visit to the vet before Christmas, he is older & may have left to do what cats do sometimes when they unexpectedly leave home.

He’s been around for all of us through our trials & tribulations, we’d have wanted to do the same for him.

I’m just so heartbroken.

tayto lover

Same thing happened to my son’s cat in Dundalk and to his neighbour’s cat.

I wonder if they go away to die?

I hope your cat turns up alright, Baybay, I'm nearly in tears here reading it.

Grawns

Don't give up hope. If he wasn't sick maybe he's off having adventures. I feel your pain as I've been there just recently. She was missing for only 24 hours and I had a meltdown. I really hope you get a happy ending x

Baybay

Sightings are fewer now & probably aren’t even him.

I think it’s goodbye. Part of me admires him for going as he lived - on his own terms.

But it’s tough.

And every dark shadow, every plant moving in the wind, every creak in the house could be him. But it isn’t.

Baybay

As I walk around the house, his things are everywhere.

His snug little fleece lined bed beside the radiator in the kitchen. A Guinness box lined with old tea towels that he loved to lounge in, bathed in sunshine on the dining room table. An old wooden wine box in the walk in wardrobe with a carpet sample in it that he became attached to & where he hid when we had visitors or people doing jobs in the house. Various cat shaped dents on throws, blankets & cushions as he followed the sun through the various rooms.

But teddy. Teddy is wedged in the corner of the bottom step of the stairs where he left him when he’d finished playing with him during the afternoon before he left. Teddy that was bigger than himself almost when he was given to him as a kitten who was missing his mammy & his siblings. Teddy who was a faithful lifetime companion for him when so many other toys were ignored or shredded in hours. Teddy was carried from room to room, swatted along floors, groomed, curled up with, play fought with, meowed to & loved.

When & how do I start moving these things, washing them, putting them away?

Kinda wish I had a teddy of my own to help me deal with it all.

Grawns

So sad for you. Someday you'll be ready to part with these things, for now maybe put them in a press out of sight. Allow yourself time to grieve and be good to yourself x

janmaree

I can relate to every word you've written and my heart goes out to you, it truly does. Cats and dogs do choose to take their leave of us, I don't know how they seem to know but it's natural instinct and we can't control it. I've gone through the same thing and have had to "kiss them goodbye" in my mind and carry on.

On the other hand, I've had a sweet little cat find her way home 4 weeks after she got lost, she'd been asleep on something under the car and fell out on the road, we saw it happen and spent so much time going up and down the roads, calling and calling, we even dragged my cardigan around the hedges and up the banks to the driveway hoping to give her the scent to follow. I did very little that month but go from window to window looking out for her, crying my eyes out to the point where I'd given up hope. Then one morning I went out to the back porch for something and there she was, scrunched up in a little ball with her forehead pressed up against the backdoor. She was so thin and dehydrated that I thought she'd die in my arms but little by little she recovered and we had several more loving years together. Too late to make a long story short but I just wanted to say sometimes they do make it back.

And if it's not to be, you shared so much love together that someday before too long, you'll want to honour him by sharing your love with another little one who needs you.....as much as you'll need him. I know it's unthinkable at the moment but the time will come when it'll feel right and you'll feel ready. To my mind, it's not replacing a beloved pet, it's paying tribute to that pet by opening your heart to another. I really think they train us to learn that. I'm sorry for going on like this but I really do get it and I know you'll come through, ready to pay that love forward.

Baybay

A friend rang today & said she thought she’d spotted him so I dropped everything to go see. It was so like him. He looked when I called his name & for a few minutes I thought he was just being over cautious, determining it was definitely me before coming out of the bushes. Even when I knew this beautiful cat was too small, too young to be him, I stood in the chilly air for nearly an hour, without my coat calling his name & somehow hoping the next time he looked at me he would somehow have turned into our fellow. He did not.

Baybay, are you in Dublin?

I'm going to PM you the name of a rescue (don't think they allow them to be named on thread), they will put your cat's picture on their FB page.

And, I'm sorry to put it out into the universe, but they often post about cats found by the roadside, or know of them. If the worst has happened, you may get some closure that way.

I'm sorry for your troubles.

Graces7

(((HUGS)))

Still too sore to talk here about it but lost my most loved cat this year as he chose to go away to go to sleep in a place we both loved. I am all but homebound now but kind kind rescue folk unbeknown to me searched and searched the whole island and found him in a place we both loved, long long dead, and they buried him there for me. Can hardly write for tears.

They make choices and our love enables them to do that freely , It means they loved and trusted us with their greatest needs and desires, but it took me a while to see that! Love frees

I am rarely near boards as nearly 80 and in increasingly poor health but can be contacted via my weblog or messages here

islandanchorhold.blogspot.com

Baybay

A month passes quickly. Maybe a little too quickly because every hour he’s been gone is another hour more unlikely he’ll be back & now it’s been a month.

I know there’s a lot of big things going on in the world & reading about people trying to save their own lives & that of their families in Ukraine as they leave their homes, some also carrying cat carriers reinforces how much part of our families our precious pets become.

On the plus side, most of the cats, dogs, ferrets, birds etc that have appeared on the local lost & found animals FB page since our fellow packed his little trunk have been reunited with their families so it’s a good aid to use if your pet goes missing. People have been very kind & helpful.

Please don’t think I’m minimising anybody else’s hardship btw. I was in tears anyway reading about the Ukraine peoples’ plight & started sobbing when I read about an older couple hoping to leave with their cat.

the beer revolu

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118690208#Comment_118690208

Honestly, I don't think anyone would think bad of you for this, in any circumstances.

Baybay

He hasn’t come home & no one sees him anywhere any more.

So, yesterday I gathered up his cardboard scratchers & flattened his Guinness boxes ready for recycling.

I laundered all his bedding & the tea towels that were set aside to dry him when he arrived home saturated.

I gathered up all his toys.

I just wasn’t able to pick up Teddy yet, still in the corner at the bottom of the stairs.

Not sure what to do with his things really. OH wants another cat, in time so maybe I’ll keep them for now.

I will never say he was just a cat because to us he was family but my heart aches for him & it underlines, for me, the millions of hearts aching in other families in Ukraine.

Baybay, I am so sorry.

Not the same situation, I had a cat for 18 years, who died in 2016 and a dog that I had to allow be put to sleep in 2020. I only packed up my dog's stuff nearly a year later. I just couldn't picture any other cat or dog living in the places or spaces of those I'd lost, and I was afraid if I tried to get a new pet I wouldn't take to them.

But fate intervened to cut a long story short, I ended up adopting 2 kittens last October, and its working out very well. Those who have died are not forgotten, but those I have now bring a lot of happiness too. I kept my dog's water bowl which they use, and they play with some of her toys too. When you are ready for another pet, you'll know. Give yourself plenty of time.

Baybay

Ambushed by spring cleaning.

I think of him every day. Dreamt of him the other night & woke the house shouting out his name in desperation even though I don’t remember the dream.

Anyway, decided it was time to wash windows, sort out drawers, move furniture etc to give everywhere a good clean. Expected his hair gathered with all the dust along skirting boards, behind head boards & the like. That’s was ok. Had forgotten his phase of playing with the rings from the top of the milk so a couple of them took a moment or two. He also liked a bit of uncooked penne pasta to whirl around the kitchen floor so there were a couple of bits in far flung dark corners. These are, I suppose, lasts in that I won’t find them next year. Don’t know how I feel about removing traces of him. Ready / not ready I suppose.

Ah Baybay. That's heartbreaking - I know, I've been there.

My two love those rings from the top of the milk too! It's the little things that hit you right in the heart.

I still have days when I think of my past pets and am sad. It's allowed.

Graces7

About three years ago my dog and Beata cat, both well into their teens, died the same weekend. My far away family ORDERED me to get three new cats,, So I found a young lady who was going back to Romania and who had taken in nine strays,,, Eneter Oliver, Bella, and Selkie, Bella is currently awol ...sore story.. The way I looked at it was that I was honouring my lost ones by giving homes to more very needy cats, and did not stop my love for those gone... in my case Boycat was dead. Not missing, Missing is much harder,,,

Graces7

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118867641#Comment_118867641

When my wee dog was still with me, I "made a memory" one day. I was much more mobile then and she would race down the lane ahead of me. When she reached the turn off to the boreen down to the shore, she would stop, ears flying, a paw raised. CAN WE? PLEASE? And when I called YES she would fly! That memory has stood me well against her illness and death. I miss her still. My first dog.

Baybay

Thank you all for your kind words over the last weeks. It has meant more than you know. If you’ll indulge me once more, and I really cannot believe I’m writing this, our boy has been returned to us! We are overjoyed as we’d thought the worst.

The wonders of microchipping, extraordinarily kind people & his need for affection meant that he was checked for his chip this morning & thirty minutes later he was home.

We don’t know what happened or where he ended up initially but for the last four weeks or so that he’s been missing, a very nice lady has been feeding the very thin scrawny cat that arrived at her door. Knowing that he’s the type of cat that was used to being loved, she selflessly had his chip checked this morning. We are so grateful to her. And so thankful he’s home in one piece. Let’s hope he doesn’t get himself lost again!

If you’re in two minds about microchipping, just do it! He was less than a kilometre from home.

Anyway, he’s lying in his favourite spot on the dining room table in the sun, looking like he’s never been gone!

Thanks again to you all!

Graces7

Wpnderful!! So happy for you!

DBB

Fantastic news Baybay! I've been opening your updates with a certain amount of dread, so I'm just so happy for you now 😊

Agree 100% about microchipping too.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118894358#Comment_118894358

Your post has made my day! I'm so happy for you!

I bet you didn't know whether to hug him or strangle him when you were reunited. Cats!!!!

muddypaws

I am just so delighted to read this tonight. I was so heartbroken for you, such Amazing news.

Graces7

You give me hope. Two of mine went missing last year. Boycat was finally found under a bush at the church. Long dead, They think he was trying to get home to me so when it caught him, he chose a place we had cared for together, so he is buried there. He was 17 but the aching gap in my heart. Working on the second absentee..

volchitsa

Oh that's so brilliant, Baybay! I'd read your earlier posts and was a bit afraid to open this one when I saw it coming up again, but that's wonderful news!

We actually have a little lost cat that turned up here skinny and pregnant, but wasn't chipped.

Like yours, you could tell that she was used to people, and liked being near them, so I looked at all the missing cats ads within a reasonable distance, websites and local vets etc, but nothing.

Anyway, she had her kittens and when they were old enough we found homes for them, and got Mammy cat spayed so there wouldn't be any more, and just recently (she's still only about 2 now) I got her chipped. I'd have done it before, for a cat that I got in the usual way, but with her I always thought "what if we do find her owners?" - but I finally went ahead anyway.

All this just to say that sometimes cats that get lost might be loved and cherished in some other home too. I love this little cat, and I'm so pleased she came to us.

Oh and yes, people should get their cats micro chipped! :)

pottokblue

I love Happy lostnfound stories great news baybay

Grawns

So so happy for you🤗