Getting a six month old to sleep?

The One Doctor

Hi all,

Trying to get my daughter to sleep, she's six months old and sleeps fairly well at night.

Getting her to sleep is another story. I've read the Sleep Solution and frankly it's a load of rehashed auld guff, but I'm following it anyway.

Trouble is, staying with her as she goes to sleep makes her go mental, so I've reverted to 'crying it out' or 'intervals' as Guffmeister General Lucy Wolfe says, and checking on her every two mins or so.

Yesterday was the first day and was fine except the screaming. She went asleep eventually (after maybe 45 mins).

Tonight I got really close and then someone slammed a door downstairs. P Eventually I couldn't take any more and asked my wife to give her a booby feed. She was asleep in twenty seconds.

This is our second kid and I really want to avoid feeding her to sleep - we did that with Kid 1 and she would not go to sleep herself until she was FIVE!

I feel like I'm ruining my little girl's brain by letting her cry so much.

If you're wondering why I'm doing it and not my wife, it was my idea. She wants to booby feed Kid 2 to sleep because it's convenient and for her, but I can't do that, and besides it's not sustainable in the long term - we have to do it some time, so why not now?

If anyone has any tips or whatever, please let me know.

fits

id just let her feed to sleep in the boob. That’s the natural way and that’s what babies want to do. It makes them feel secure enough to fall asleep.

bytheglass

Why put yourself and your baby through the stress? Let the baby go to sleep contented after a booby fix. You said yourself it’s mere seconds on the boob and everyone’s happy.

just because it look your other child until 5 to go to sleep by themselves doesn’t mean this child will be the same

afatbollix

We bought an ewan sheep, It shhhhs and does a heart beat noise. Took her a couple of days but she knew fairly quickly that once it's on it's time to sleep. Great for when she's at the childminders or parents and it's time for a nap.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Sweet-Dreamers-Dream-Sheep-Purple/dp/B0040JSN7Y

Available on other websites.

Takes a couple of days with the cry it out, and it's hard work but it's worth it in the end. A friend came to visit yesterday and her 3 year old still sleeps on the mother, She took herself off to our bed for 90 mins for the baby to sleep on her while we were downstairs. To me it's crazy but I do get their point of view.

SmallgirlBigcity

Everyone has their own opinions about the cry it out method. I breastfed and used to rock my baby to sleep but it started to become difficult when he was about 6 months old because he was getting heavier!

So I decided to try a gentle sleep training method given to me by my friend who is a paediatric nurse. First thing is to separate breastfeeding from bedtime.

So we established a solid bedtime routine which involved reading a book, then a breastfeed on the couch downstairs. We'd play the exact same song (hush little baby) and then upstairs for the bath. Then bed. So you're giving the breastfeed about 20 mins before putting down for bed. Bear in mind that at 6 months old, my baby was still waking 2 or 3 times in the night for a breastfeed and I'd still give it to him but I wanted to stop the breastfeeding to sleep.

The gentle sleep training was that you'd say the same line (you can do your own but I'd say 'we go to bed because it's night time, we go asleep because it's night time now, I love you' and put him down and leave the room.

You go in every 2 mins on the clock (only if he's crying) and do 3 long shushes and leave again. Don't pick up. The first night, he cried for 45 mins but the second night it was shorter and after a few nights, he went to sleep on his own with no crying or issues. It really does work. I can't recommend it enough.

I still breastfed him in the night if he woke, especially because this helps with teething pain, but my main goal was to get him to fall asleep on his own. This method worked wonders for us. It's important to be consistent with it. It's hard to hear them cry but if you go in and out every 2 mins, they know you're there. Best of luck!

Yonce

Just let mum feed her to sleep, it's actually really good for both mother and baby, mum's mental health and bonding and babies security. It's not just convenient for mum, have you tried it? It's natural and nurturing. If your not loosing sleep and can go about your day either way, maybe just support them. I have 4 babies and I work with babies, they need the comfort. It helps to develop secure independent little ones in the future. I fed all mine to sleep until they were almost two and not a bother now they sleep when they want to sleep.

Ps you are doing untold damage to your baby's brain by this cry it out thing, what an awful thing it is. At 6 months old lying and crying not knowing why you are all of a sudden being treated like this? Such an American thing.

My mother used to say to me theyll be on someone's boob in 18 years but it won't be yours.

The One Doctor

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118491747#Comment_118491747

Good to hear that it works, I'll use that approach. Good arguments from all sides tbh, but the cry it out seems like less pain overall.

TP_CM

We did the booby feed at night until she was about 8 months and then switched to the bottle at night. We weaned her off booby feeds during the day around 6 months.

I suppose she does take a bottle during the day does she? Just to start distancing her from the boob a little.

At 8 months we did the cry it out method which is tough but it works better long term in our opinion. Just make sure she's not hungry, hot or cold. Belly needs to be full. We used to leave her for 5 minutes at a time unless it's one of those awful evenings we've all been through as parents.

But - Best thing I ever did, for the hard days, was throw a mattress down on the floor beside her with a duvet and pillow. Whenever she was having a tough night either falling asleep or getting back to sleep during the night, I'd just lie down on the floor beside her and show her that it's time to sleep. She'd cry but I'd just lie there with my eyes closed breathing loudly so she heard me. When she fell asleep, I'd sneak out the door (one inch at a time!). Takes some time but eventually she learns how to put herself to sleep. After that it's just about tiring her out with trips outside in the fresh air before bed time.

Does she have a grobag? They're excellent as well.

SmallgirlBigcity

Just wanted to add that they recommend doing sleep training, if you're going to do it, only after 6 months. I actually think my guy was closer to 7 months when we did it. I also recommend grobags. They're great and keeping baby warm throughout the night.

My son is an amazing sleeper. He actually looks forward to going to bed and for his nap each day. I could be just lucky or it could be down to the sleep training. I know there's theory's out there against sleep training but it really helped us so I do recommend it myself. Each baby is different though and a parent knows if their baby is crying because something is wrong (hungry, cold, teething pain) or theyre just not happy with the change in what they're used to. There were times I did still breastfeed him to sleep, especially if he was teething badly, so it's all about using your judgement. I personally think a really solid bedtime routine can make a world of difference, even at a young age. We always did the exact same thing every night and I think that helped baby to know it was nighttime.

SmallgirlBigcity

A white noise machine also really helps! Got mine on amazon. Don't have it too loud (because apparently this can damage their hearing) but on a low level it can really help them stay asleep. And blackout curtains or blinds. Every little helps!

Milly33

White noise is fantastic!! Either use a hairdryer for a few mins or record something or put the radio on the wrong wave... Must say i never understood feeding a baby to sleep, it just screams alarm bells.. Used mostly common sense and the Gina Ford method for our two and never had any problems with them sleeping.

Getting the baby used to noises like slamming doors and reg houses noise is good for them.. Have ye tried as others said to maybe bottle feed her before putting her down to sleep, or well the cry it out method while it seems horrible and sometimes you think half an hour is two weeks. They do get it...

Change and have her snug before putting her down in bed, make sure the lights are out, blackout blinds are mighty if the room is too dark

Colonel Panic

Ours didn't respond to any kind of sleep training at 6 months but a month or so later, he seemed to acknowledge the bedtime routine and will go to sleep with very little fuss.

Still waking for night feeds, which is something his Mum is okay with FOR NOW, but sleeping quite well. Terrible at naps though.

Lucy Wolfe is pretty divisive, but I found putting the baby down awake and staying with them to settle them initially (and gradually having to do less of that) worked quite well. Her schedules... Not so much. So far.

No way would I let the poor baby bawl itself to sleep!

mojesius

I think we did Lucy Wolfe from 10 months onwards as suggested in post above (stay and support). Before that, our babies were boobed to sleep. Quick, easy and peaceful when they are so young and just want to feel comfort. I'm no mother earth by any means but I don't think you can instill 'bad habits' in a 6 month old, and feeding to sleep is one of the most natural things for babies.

My youngest is 16 months and I still feed him to sleep if he is unwell or teething but he's old enough now to be able to settle down himself for a solid 12 hour sleep most nights.

fits

They’ll stop going to sleep on the boob soon enough anyway. Probably too soon. It’s an amazing easy way to do it.

The One Doctor

Turns out it's a bit too early and my daughter will not calm down at all when I try to get her to sleep. Back to booby feeding to sleep for a while. She stays asleep the whole night (or just needs a quick bottle around 1am).

I just can't tolerate that much crying - it's horrible for her.

Thanks for all the tips, I'll use them next time.

Minier81

I could not bear crying it out either. I doubt too many people are on the death beds wishing they had let the child cry to sleep.

We boobed to sleep too. When we stopped that she was bum rubbed to sleep but Dad or one of us lay on the ground beside her and either sang or pretended to be asleep. I absolutely agree with the recommendation of a matttess on the floor beside them, we just had a duvet and pillow on the carpet but it was comfy! Now she is asleep with a few minutes of the end of her story.

This too shall pass. Best of luck.

shesty

Tbh she is 6 months....plenty of time yet.

We did a night time sleep feed at 11pm to tide them over til morning, probably til they were almost 1 but certainly we were doing it at 6 months every night.

Also remember ...she isn't the same child.All 3 of mine had different "quirks" at nightime.This little one could sort it all out for herself in 6 months time, and you could be wondering what you were thinking or trying to do.🙃

Bambinoonboard

I am in the same boat and just started a new post not realising this was here - apologises.

I find 3/5 times our baby falls to sleep with his last feed (bottle as I am now finished BF) . He needs that night feed. ITs hard to know where t ogo or what to do. I cannot get him to settle without it in his cot. We have a routine in place and on day 3, regimental - bath / very short walk max 15 mins, cream/massage, pjs, story, bottle with instrumental music.

He will not go into the cot drowsy / awake without crying (no tears) but I still feel this is cruel leaving him to cry even though we have done... for very shot spurts like OP said above, and then return to reassure... It kills me but I do wonder what is best to do.

The One Doctor

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119190031#Comment_119190031

It depends how old he is. My daughter wouldn't settle on her own at six months (lots of screaming), but now at 11 months she can settle herself with a bit of encouragement. I don't leave her room until she's asleep, but I just sing gently if she grumbles and do a bit of very quiet shushing.

I also find she really doesn't like being touched when in the cot, it distracts her from going to sleep.

If you're getting him to sleep using the bottle that's fine, he'll grow out if it. I did that for years with our oldest daughter. Her sister is a bit more independent.

Getting yourself to sleep is a skill that takes a long time to learn. Time will sort it out. I know that's not very helpful, but it is true.