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Wish it was socially acceptable spend Xmas alone

  • 05-12-2021 7:42am
    Posts: 0 [Deleted User]

    Every year for the last ten years I would dread the idea of spending Christmas with family. Last year I promised myself I wouldn't do it this year. If I had a partner it would be acceptable for me not to be there. It would be seen as there is something 'wrong' with me for not joining, that I'm mad in some way. My family aren't there for me in anyway, only criticism I get. I get that my parents will not be around forever and it would be respectful to them. I've the long weekend off - Saturday to Monday and I want to rest and spend it how I please. I'll say that I'm spending it with a friend, have food of my choice and watch movies on my laptop. It seems that it's the one day in a year where your forced to spend it with others

    Post edited by Hannibal_Smith on


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,607 ✭✭✭gipi

    I spent many Christmases on my own by choice - family kept asking if I was coming over, I kept refusing. I did my own thing and enjoyed it immensely.

    OP, if you want your own Christmas, just say no!

  • Registered Users Posts: 349 ✭✭Goodigal

    You have spent 10 years dreading Christmas. It's time to do what you want and what makes you content on that day. Make your excuses and visit the parents the day after. It's time to do what makes you happy. Go for it!

  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,591 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hannibal_Smith

    Mod Note

    Willowground as you're not looking for advice, Personal Issues isn't really the appropriate place for your thread.

    I'm going to move it to the Christmas forum, which might suit it better. The local charter now applies



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  • Registered Users Posts: 450 ✭✭Pistachio19

    It's time to make a stand and have the Christmas you want, be that by telling a white lie about a friends invitation, or just saying you are planning to stay on your own. Nobody can force you to travel home. They can try to lay on a guilt trip but you don't have to rise to it. If you go with the friend story then at least they probably wont harp on at you, so that might be best.

  • Registered Users Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7

    OP; make the break as others are advising. Visit family later? I did it many years ago and actually spent Christmas at a convent retreat house with lovely folk....Many years later I am alone all the time and that is fine. Make sure you have a really good etc.

    The first time is hard but after that...

  • Registered Users Posts: 22,079 ✭✭✭✭endacl

    Xmas is a time of obligation, until you decide it's not.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7

    I never saw it as obligation. Of love, but since when has loving been the proverbial bed of roses ...

  • Posts: 7,792 ✭✭✭ Janelle Huge Spit

    If ya live on your own OP, and it sounds like you do from your post; then at least you can have the - "Yeah, I went home to my parents' house for Christmas.. was grand.. caught up with... etc" bullshít talk in your back pocket, so to speak, when you get the inevitable grilling from neighbours/workmates about what you did for Christmas.. That's if you do go home, and that's all ya have to say to anyone who asks..

    Unless it's your family, and not society in general that you're worried about, as far as shunning your family on Christmas day goes.

    You say 'socially acceptable' in thread title.. Who is it you're worried about that might think you're 'mad' , as you mentioned in OP? Was it your family, or everyone else? If it's your family, why would you really care what they think, as they already know you far better than any of your neighbours or colleagues likely do, and unlikely they'll think you any more or less mad for not going home to see the parents/family..

  • Registered Users Posts: 24,628 ✭✭✭✭odyssey06

    Well, covid has given you the card of 'self isolation' to play if you need it...

    But wouldn't it mean a lot to your parents for you to be there? Your presence is your present... you might regret not being there this Christmas for that reason.

    Or perhaps you might be able to visit them for New Years, you get your me time for Christmas but also are there for family too.

    "To follow knowledge like a sinking star..." (Tennyson's Ulysses)