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Life ending experience

  • 17-11-2021 10:12am
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 2 jpal9


    Hi @jpal9,

    Please know that you do not have to deal with this on your own.

    We encourage people experiencing difficulties to talk to someone they trust and, if appropriate, to go to their GP. If you need help urgently and outside of GP hours, please go to your nearest A&E department.

    Here at Boards.ie our moderators are not trained to support people experiencing difficulties. There are other organisations better positioned to provide specialised support. These organisations are listed below. We hope that you will follow these up so that you can get the help and support you need.

    If you need immediate help:

    Aware’s Support Line is open 7 days per week, 10am-10pm on 1800 804 848

    The Samaritan’s phone line is open 24/7 on 116 123

    Pieta offer one-to-one, face-to-face support. Click ‘Contact us’ to find the phone number and opening hours of your nearest branch on their site or email [email protected] for advice on getting an appointment.

    Text about it - text HELLO to 50808 to speak to a Crisis Volunteer in a safe space via text. Service available 24/7.

    If you need non-urgent help:

    Aware have a support email service at [email protected]

    There are some other useful services that you can use also listed here.

    Post edited by Boards.ie: Niamh on


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,223 ✭✭✭ Flinty997


    ...



  • Registered Users Posts: 737 ✭✭✭ fatbhoy


    Something doesn't sit right with me about this story: I'm finding it hard to believe. If you're in IT you will more than likely be working from home, each day, every day. Other alarm bells for me is that you're a newly registered boards user with one single post, and that post contains a lot of detail. Maybe I'm wrong, but I find it hard to believe.



  • Registered Users Posts: 1,240 ✭✭✭ KildareP


    Get all evidence of your insured history together to show the prior years of uninterrupted cover and this was a momentary lapse.

    Bring evidence of the circumstances at the time - your fathers death, etc.

    Show evidence of your employment and the necessity of being able to drive for work.

    Unfortunately for you, there is little chance you will be let off completely untouched, so chances are you will end up with at least several penalty points and thus have to inform either your employer's insurance or your own, but a full driving ban and unemployment isn't necessarily a given at this stage.

    Good luck and hope it all works out.



  • Registered Users Posts: 13,900 ✭✭✭✭ Cuddlesworth


    If your liked in work, look for a role change that doesn't require travel or public transport could be used. Or start looking for other work that doesn't need travel.

    Banned from driving isn't the end of the world, you have just made it out to be. You even pointed out it was the first time on the bike in a month.

    Not paying a mortgage in Ireland really means little to nothing. I'm serious, you could pay 50 quid a month for decades and the bank could do little or nothing. It's a bit more debt to pay in the future but its not the end of the world.

    Go to the doctor, get something for your anxiety.



  • Registered Users Posts: 893 ✭✭✭ Baybay


    You made a mistake, a much more expensive one than having insurance so it’s a mistake you won’t make again, I presume.

    But there are circumstances that may help explain your actions & on supply of death certs, college receipts etc are provable.

    From what you say, nobody died or was hurt so that’s a positive. The immediate damage was financial. Serious enough I know as my husband’s year old car was written off by an uninsured driver a number of years ago. You at least have remorse which that driver didn’t. Without the benefit of the other side of the story, you are suffering since the accident so might the other party but you are alive & that’s a win.

    Jobs are plentiful right now & staff are scarce, especially good ones. Working from home is recommended again where possible too so maybe you can do that. Or maybe public transport & overnight stays for work will have to be a thing for a while. Or maybe you’ll be able to find a stopgap job if you do lose yours & fill a much in demand hospitality or retail role. Maybe also consider some voluntary work in your community. Don’t give up. What happened wasn’t ideal but it all could be so much worse.

    You are very young to write yourself off so completely. Chin up & onwards.



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  • Registered Users Posts: 4,594 ✭✭✭ BabysCoffee


    There are alternatives to using a car for work so don't be worrying about that. Is Public Transport an option to get around for work?

    Or you could look in to getting a e-Bike if the distances between work sites is not too far. And then there is always the option to take a taxi.

    No licence for two years is certainly overcome-able.



  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 26,715 CMod ✭✭✭✭ spurious


    Please do not do anything rash.

    Talk to the Samaritans (Phone 116 123), or talk to your doctor.

    There are always ways to sort things out. Do not do anything to yourself.



  • Registered Users Posts: 3,508 ✭✭✭ spaceHopper


    Go talk to a barrister who specialize in this sort of case. Things could go bad in court but they might not. Normally I'd be hard on people driving with no insurance, till my wife let her's laps while I was driving her car for months. She's just had a baby and we'd moved the year before so she got no letter. It happens.

    Get the solicitor or better still a barrister to explain the court the circumstances and that you have given up riding a motorbike that you need a car work. If you show that you take this very seriously, well you've learned your lesson so there is no point been harsh. Expect a fine hopefully you don't get banned. If you do talk to your work see if they can accommodate you if they can't you can look for job working form home or office based where don't have to drive. You might also be able appeal the driving ban after a 9 months to a year and see if you can get you license back.

    Worst case you get a lower paid work from home job for two years and move on after that.


    Also go talk to your GP about the panic attacks you are losing all sense of scale here, it's bad but not life changing or doomsday stuff. Its just a hill you have to climb



  • Registered Users Posts: 13,511 ✭✭✭✭ loyatemu


    explain your circumstances and throw yourself at the mercy of the court

    there are plenty of IT jobs out there that do not require driving, it's not the end, just a change in direction.



  • Registered Users Posts: 419 ✭✭ The DayDream


    You're being extremely overdramatic. KildareP's advice is very good, follow it.

    I'll add that I've had worse legal trouble than this over dumb mistakes and bounced back. I've also never held a driver's license due to the financial barriers of lessons, insurance etc and am only getting one now and have gotten along just fine, and where I live the public transport situation is much much worse than it is in Dublin.

    2 things I can tell you for certain: 1) the worrying you do before you go to court (basically what you are going through now) is almost guaranteed to be a worse punishment than what the judge will give you.

    2) A lot of it depends on the mood of the judge on the day.

    Be contrite, apologetic, own up to it, they like that. But do let your solicitor put forth your circumstances with your father, your good insurance record, record of hard work and college, the fact you bought a house. Let them speak for you and try to get you a positive result. That's their job. This isnt the crime of the century stop making it out to be so bad, you'll get through it.

    The fact you are in college and working will stand to you, you arent a bum, you aren't a foreign person who came here to leech off the system, you made a good life for yourself.

    The judge is not going to want to take all youve worked for away from you for a minor accident with no injuries, it wouldn't make sense.

    The judges do a good bit harder on those who aren't from here (of course theyd never admit that) so if you do have to speak try and sound as Irish as possible but best thing to do is say nothing and let your solicitor do the talking.

    I get the sense that while you are smart and a hard worker, you are still quite young or haven't had to deal with much real adversity. This is so far from 'life ending' it's actually laughable - i thought i was clicking into a thread about a DUI with injuries or an actual deadly accident. Stop this talk of euthanasia, it's ridiculous. Your post reminds me of the story of a guy who survived a suicide attempt when he jumped off the Golden Gate bridge. On the way down he was overcome with regret as he realized 'All my problems were fixable'.

    Let your solicitor speak for you, take the punishment and move on. You think your life is over? Well as you sit through court listen to what other people there are being charged with. For sure some of them would trade places with you in a heartbeat.

    Lastly, smoking weed won't help you if you already worried it will only make you more paranoid! Put it away for now and save it to smoke some after your court date, when you'll be celebrating a good result because the judge decided you need your transport for work and gave you a chance since you had such a good record otherwise so they let you away with penalty points and a fine.

    Even if you do get a ban, you're in a city with lots of transport options, you work in a field that is hiring like mad all the time, and those wee e-scooters you don't need a license for could be an option for a few months too. push comes to shove buy one of those and wizz about.



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  • Registered Users Posts: 5,371 ✭✭✭ kirving


    Another "gotcha" post, all too regular on boards unfortunately.

    I work with dozens of IT people who are required to be in the office every day, so I have no idea where you got that information from.

    OP, as otherwise suggested, talk to a solicitor and in the meantime gather up absolutely as much evidence you can on what might have contributed to you forgetting to renew your insurance. You'll hopefully be let off easier. And don't stress too much - it happens to dozens of people every day of the week and their lives aren't runied.



  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 83,740 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Capt'n Midnight


    Hi Jpal9,

    Please know that you do not have to deal with this on your own.

    We encourage people experiencing difficulties to talk to someone they trust and, if appropriate, to go to their GP. If you need help urgently and outside of GP hours, please go to your nearest A&E department.

    Here at Boards.ie our moderators are not trained to support people experiencing difficulties. There are other organisations better positioned to provide specialised support. These organisations are listed below. We hope that you will follow these up so that you can get the help and support you need.

    If you need immediate help:

    Aware’s Support Line is open 7 days per week, 10am-10pm on 1800 804 848

    The Samaritan’s phone line is open 24/7 on 116 123

    Pieta offer one-to-one, face-to-face support. Click ‘Contact us’ to find the phone number and opening hours of your nearest branch on their site or email [email protected] for advice on getting an appointment.

    Text about it - text HELLO to 50808 to speak to a Crisis Volunteer in a safe space via text. Service available 24/7.

    If you need non-urgent help:

    Aware have a support email service at [email protected]

    There are some other useful services that you can use also listed here.



  • Registered Users Posts: 491 ✭✭ Speedline


    It's 5 points for no insurance. Not necessarily a ban. Your insurance will go up a bit with 5 points.

    Pay for a good solicitor and you'll be ok.



This discussion has been closed.
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