Dating an Irish boy

Rome2021

Hello, I am an Italian girl, I would like to have some advice and clarifications on how to approach an Irishman that I met for work, he is 30 yrs old. We work together on a project, he is very handsome and I tried to draw his attention but without success. When I tried to call him by phone for work reasons, he was very polite but also very cold, in my culture I would have expected a warm welcome to my call, maybe also some curiosity since being from another country. Anyway, I would like to understand better how Irishmen are, probably the approach is different in the two cultures, I have expections that probably don't match.

He could be in a relationship or just not interested.

Was the call during work hours? He could have been busy or otherwise engaged

kirving

I had a conversation yesterday with my a few friends and their girlfriends yesterday on this.

The general consensus was that even if you wrote it on a sign and held it in front of the guy's face, they'd probably still miss it.

The best thing you can do is tell him outright, dropping hints is wasting your time.

Calling him about work is probably not the best way to let him know you are interested

KaneToad

Irish boys/men are not an homogeneous group.

If you're interested in him, ask him would he like to go out for a drink/dinner.

rolling boh

is he single find that out .

Zak Flaps

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118098915#Comment_118098915

Yes I would agree with this before doing anything else.

YellowLead

Some people also frown upon workplace relationships. But also - find out if he is single too, as others have said he could have a girlfriend. Or just not be interested. Or just have no clue you are giving him signs. See if you can nab him at work for a causal coffee or lunch and suss out if he is single. If he is then flirt pretty obviously.

Buddy Bubs

I don't think men miss genuine signals, they miss veiled and complex signals. That's me anyway.

A lot of men i know have got signals wrong in the past and thought women were interested when they weren't so don't jump at subtle hints.

Just ask him for a coffee or a drink alone and he won't misinterpret that.

Not as outgoing as regards making a move as italian men in general, that's for sure.

rolling boh

even if he is single he may be slow to date a co worker can be messy might depend on how big the company is or how much you work with him also he could be shy so would have to get to know you a bit before dating .

daheff

He might also be gay?

Or you just might not be his type?

Padre_Pio

Just ask him out for lunch if you're in work and have a chat as a friend. After that you can go for more.

Rome2021

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118099057#Comment_118099057

we are not in the same company <snip>

Edited at OP's request

xhomelezz

There's your answer, forget Irish boys. Waste of time 😁

rolling boh

ok i thought you worked together my mistake it will be hard in that case to get to know him better as you know little about him he could be with someone and anyway not all guys will start chasing any women they are dealing with through work .You really have to be meeting him face to face to figure out if he was interested in getting to know you away from work.

Are you in Italy and he's in Ireland?

Rome2021

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118099296#Comment_118099296

Yes. He comes here sometimes for work.

rolling boh

doubt anything serious would happen as you both live in different countries maybe look look closer to home .

Maybe he's not interested in a fling or long distance relationship.

But maybe just propose to go for a drink the next time he's over.

the_pen_turner

why dont you ask him about ireland. ask for reconmendations on where to go etc. then slip in about places you go in italy and reconmend them to him. offer to show him around the next time he is over and go from there. if he is interested he will seem keen if not then you have your answer

gameoverdude

Customer/ supplier relationship...I'd be very wary even if he is interested. You can give it a go, but don't be surprised if you're taken off the account. Might work as well though.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118099435#Comment_118099435

doubt the reaction would be that drastic.

First thing I'd do is look for him on social media. Try to figure out if he's single. Then I'd add him on social media, and if he accepted, then I'd contact him through that platform.

If you make contact outside of work it will be much clearer to him that you're reaching out.

So far, you've been contacting him through work channels. He either might not understand that you're trying to be sociable, or he might (rightly) be worried that if he's too friendly back, he could be seen as being inappropriate.

Atticus Jung

Yes many Irish guys are more reserved than Italian guys, particularly on the phone and when the call is work related. It doesn't mean he is not into you or that he is. You have nothing to lose by asking him for a coffee. He will probably be surprised and flattered.

Sonic the Shaghog

Wait now your boss pulled you for directly emailing him already? How did they find out and what did the boss say? You'd want to be careful here job wise

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118099625#Comment_118099625

Hey glasso. Perhaps it won't, but I have my doubts. What if a potential relationship goes off the rails? What if it gets out that a contract is renewed and they're an item (auditing)...preferential treatment. It'd be a mess. Then again they may not be seniors. Don't mix business with pleasure.

Then again it may all work out and they live happily ever after. Doubt it though.

I missed the part about your boss asking you...oh my.

Rome2021

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118101652#Comment_118101652

Nothing wrong, I managed it without any problem. But I understand that mixing work with other things is not the best.

SunnySundays

You tried to get his attention but with no success.

You called him but he was cold.

You don't know if he's even single.

You have a working relationship.

Your boss already questioned you emailing him. How did your boss know? Maybe the guy flagged it with him as he was uncomfortable.

You live in different countries.

The problem here is not is not a culture clash. It sounds like he doesn't want anything other than the working relationship he has to have.

Rome2021

@SunnySundays

Clear, I agree with you.

That's it. Thank you for your messages.

veil

Hmmm! Alarming: boldness seems to be an undesirable trait in women, but at least, you did it and you know where you stand.

veil

Indeed! I think it he should have told her in BOLD LETTER anyways.