When to send invites ?

dreamparis

Wedding is next June, and we weren't going to bother with 'save the dates' as most family and friends already know the date we've selected (although granted, not necessarily if they're certain to be invited!).

It's on a bank holiday, in school holidays, and about 1/4 of guests will need to fly here, some internationally. We want to give plenty of notice so people know not to book holidays elsewhere that week if they want to attend and so on.

Wedding websites tell me etiquette is only to send invites 4 months prior for a wedding that requires travel though? 4 months ahead of time flights to where we live for half-term will be extortionate and accommodation could be thin on the ground.

We have the invites already. Would we be unreasonable and terrible etiquette to send them soonish with an RSVP date well into next year for those who have to wait to put annual leave requests in and so on?

brownbinman

if you want to send them, send them. No "rules" as to when. If people traveling, earlier you send them the better for them to start planning

woodchuck

I know you said you don't want to bother with save the dates, but this is exactly what save the dates are for! They don't even have to cost money. We just sent them by email, with a save the date image embedded/attached. It's to give people official notice about the date and to let them know that they are in fact on the invitation list (this is obvious for immediate family, but not necessarily for extended family and friends).

Personally I don't think there's any point in sending the actual invitations so far in advance. I know you said you'd put an RSVP date well into next year, but that's so far out that people will just forget to RSVP! So you'll just have to chase everyone closer to the time anyway.

We've gotten a couple of invitations ~9-10 months ahead of time asking to RSVP within a few weeks of receiving them. We RSVPed yes, but we discussed ourselves that we'll need to reassess our situation closer to the time to see if we're actually in a position to attend. So I wouldn't advise that approach either, because you'd need to take every acceptance with a pinch of salt and reconfirm closer to the time anyway.

So my advice is:

- Send save the dates now (free, electronic)

- Send invitations (with an RSVP deadline) closer to the actual date

QM79

A bit late with a comment, but maybe you could add your Save the Date information to your Christmas cards. I ordered a small stamp with our names, the wedding date and location (Dublin City) and just stamped it into our Christmas cards the year before our wedding. It gave people a little extra surprise when they opened their cards and saved us a little money (on postage & the stamp was about €30). It was particularly handy for elderly relatives and others who didn’t have or use email very often.