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Deliberate Confrontation?

  • 07-10-2021 8:55am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,244 ✭✭✭


    I know some of you will tell me that I'm immature for this, but I believe that there are many benefits to deliberate confrontation on certain occasions. And as Irish I think we tend to avoid confrontation too much. You know that moment when you seem to be getting along with someone, and then they say something you don't agree with, and you let them away with it? Why?

    There's a lot of adults who have never been in a confrontation outside of when they were drunk. And as a result their social skills have been stunted. Most of us are so used to avoiding confrontation out of habit that we just do it no matter what, and it leads to passive aggressiveness. And if you speak up it means that you won't need to moan about that person to someone else later!

    What led to me feeling this way is that from being young I have had a problem of agreeing with people when I shouldn't and then resenting it. It could be something like someone buying me a drink and then saying a bunch of stuff I disagree with... then afterwards I'll never know for sure whether that person "thinks" that because they've bought me the drink that (to them) this means that it's rude of me disagree with any of their opinions... OR whether all that is only in my head. And it's that drives me mad!

    Now I feel almost compulsed to express my opinion when someone is either bu1lshiting, lying, being a hypocrite, or making a stupid rationalisation. When you do this to people they instantly strike back at you, and this tells you where 'they' think you stood with them all along. It can be very therapeutic in this way. Even if it only forces someone to show their true colours. However, when confronting people it can go either way though; sometimes others will love you for exposing a bully, and other times they will very cruelly try to exploit your weaknesses.

    It's as simple as speaking your mind when it boils down to it, but it can take a lot more courage than people would realise. It's no different from the amount of courage involved in making the decision to fight someone. So when I'm in fact being courageous enough to stand by a principal of mine, it may look like I'm just trying to wind people up! And it actually makes me push myself harder in life because you can't expose others unless you're near perfect yourself. Generally you can get away with being a bit weird or whatever as long as you're not to cocky. The moment you get cocky people will start to dwell on you're weaknesses and ask questions about your past.

    I've had people I've been in confrontations with apologise to me afterwards. I'm not trying to say that this is because I've changed their outlook. But if they're apologising to you, what does that tell you? It tells you that they know they've let themselves down. It means that they've taken it for granted that no one would ever confront them for their bad habit to such an extent that when they are confronted, they act on impulse and make a fool of themselves. Now whether you're an as$hole or not, no one likes making a fool of themselves; therefore afterwards they've no option but to apologise for the sake of their reputation. And yes, it is interesting to think that you were the cause to someone questioning their own behaviour, and asking "what caused me to behave like that?".

    I view it all as an experiment. What do you think?

    Post edited by Brid Hegarty on


Comments

  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    As I get older, I realize that getting into arguments with people over trivial shite you might differ on is seldom fruitful or productive. I pick my battles and save my steam for when it's really needed, and stay away from needlessly argumentative people.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    I think it's healthy to get into debates. It's how we get to see other sides of opinions

    But when you lose your temper or feel compelled to force your opinion or demand that differing opinion must be shut down, it can be unhealthy.



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