Hinge Date

I matched with a nice guy recently and I was supposed to meet him yesterday.

He had been so eager to come the day before and even on the day.

We took naps after which he would call over. He has never responded or come online since then.

He had asked for my address before he took his nap. so its even more strange to me.

Thinking he might not be ok?

Its possible he changed his mind and if thats the case, i wont bother him,

but as he hasnt blocked me, or come online at all so i am thinking thats not the case.

Do i ask the police to do a wellness check or do i leave it? He is supposed to go visit his family later today and i feel sth is just not right.

sorry if this is all over the place

Caranica

You gave your address to a stranger you'd never met before? I wouldn't worry about him, I'd worry about risks to your personal safety. Please be careful.

2 fast

What do you mean by took naps?

Also, with online dating these things happen. It's likely he ghosted you, met someone else or just changes his mind.

It's not a reflection of you and more his own insecurities.

Chalk it up to experience and move on.

Faith

Did you give your address out to a person you had never met before?

That's not a safe thing to do, tbh.

And if I'm reading correctly, you arranged for the first time you met to be at your home? Do you have housemates or other people who'd be around?

This whole thing sounds unsafe to me. It's always advisable to meet a person for the first time in a public place, preferably with lots of people around.

Absolutely do not go to the police to ask them to do a wellness check on a person you've never met before. He has family and friends who can look out for him and contact authorities if they're worried.

In the meantime, it might be worth having a read about safety in the world of online dating, such as https://www.rainn.org/articles/online-dating-and-dating-app-safety-tips

thanks guys, i feel stupid now.

YellowLead

Don’t feel stupid, you chatted and felt like you had a nice connection and were looking forward to meeting him and then he randomly ghosts after agreeing to meet. I don’t know if you are knew to online dating but you hear of this happening all the time. It’s not you, it’s the nature of the volume of choice people have and some aren’t able to handle that respectfully.

Seriously echo other posters on giving out your address and having somebody meet you for the first time in your house! Neither house is safe for first meeting. Even if the plan is sex (not judging if so good for you) - meet first outdoors/coffee shop/bar and then once you’ve met and chatted and assessed he’s not Graham Dwyer you can arrange the hook up. That’s my advice anyway.

TheadoreT

It's worryingly naive that your first thought for someone who ghosted you and having never met was to inform the guards. They'd laugh you out of the station.

Cold feet/anxiety, just an ego boost, already in a relationship, a catfish, double booked and went on the other date, went to meet friends instead, just wasn't arsed... all a million times more likely than him coming into harm during his little midweek afternoon nap.

And you should heed all the warnings above about giving your address to a stranger. Seems like you've a steep learning curve when it comes to online dating but always think safety first and don't attach too much expectations upon early chats/dating would be high on the list of things to learn.

HamSarris

It's called ghosting. It's the way 99.3% of online dating interactions end.

The Gardai would have to call to 1 million people tonight if not responding on a dating app was a welfare concern.

skallywag

You are actually considering going to the guards over a guy who has dropped online contact with you?

I am seriously struggling to believe that this is a genuine. If it is you seriously need to cop on to yourself OP. I do not mean that in any nasty way, I am being genuine. You are probably better off staying away completely from online apps if you even considered that this could be an appropriate thing to do.

MarkEadie

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117936966#Comment_117936966

I think the OP is very attractive and has very rarely been stood up or very inexperienced with online dating. As for the people questioning why she gave her address out to a stranger, that is what happens mostly with online dating these days. People skip actual dates and just go straight to the house and hook up. That's online dating!

Hannibal_Smith

Mod Note

@MarkEadie welcome to Personal Issues/Relationship Issues. When replying to threads here posters are asked to offer advice to an OP. Please bear this in mind and read the Charter before posting again.

That said the thread is a month old and I'm sure the urgency of the matter the OP was seeking advice on has passed.

I'm going to close it there in the circumstances.

Thanks everyone for taking the time to offer advice.

HS

Edit: before closing can I just say OP please don't give your address to someone you don't know or arrange for the first time you meet to be in your home. Please be safe and follow recommended advice on keeping yourself safe when online dating.