Why is sex ed so bad?

maeve99

I was listening to the radio about the topic of unplanned pregnancies. A 23yr old said she had her child at 17 because she didn't know what the morning after pill was. This misinformation among the youth doesn't seem to be isolated to Ireland but many countries. Why is this?

I'm in my mid-20s and I only received two full classes of sex ed in my entire life. One was in 6th class in primary school and the second was in SPHE class in 3rd year. That was the extent of my sexual education.

Is it a wonder so many adults never-mind teenagers are unaware about STD's, consent, and contraception?

Some say the parents should give the talk but my friends in school were just like me and received none from their parents but learned it from the internet.

SimonTemplar

I remember doing Biology in secondary school around 2002. Our teacher was a man approaching retirement age. We started on chapter one and went through the textbox in order throughout the whole year but he just skipped the Reproduction chapter and moved straight onto the next one. Hilariously obvious that he just didn't want to go near that subject.

Creepy!😲

Princess Calla

Is it though?

I was in a convent school in the 90's and I remember it being covered well in religion, civics,home EC and science.....the four subjects covered it around the same time and I think by the end of it we were thoroughly sick of the subject.

They also got aids alliance in when we were in 4th year to give a workshop.

From talking to family members the curriculum seems to have moved on to a more indepth conversation about STDs .

The one thing that probably could have been covered more is same sex relationships and safe sex within them. Though at the time homosexuality was still illegal I think ...not sure what the curriculum is now on this subject.

Now my parents were absolutely woeful and really neglected their duties but the school was on the ball.

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117909271#Comment_117909271

Funniest show on Netflix in a long time, I won’t spoil it though 😁

As for why sex education is considered poor, it’s really down to the fact that people aren’t generally interested in teaching the ins and outs as it were of sex. They place greater educational value in teaching people about other things which they see as more useful or more important or more interesting than sex is all.

I went to a convent school in the '90s and it was sh1t, which I think is the more predictable experience than Princess C's but I guess it depends on the school. Mine was so full of messers whom they couldn't control that they probably just didn't want to bring all the laughing and piss-taking on themselves. It was mostly lay teachers teaching science as well - except for two nuns who were pretty "with it" for nuns. But there was no "it's sinful" stuff to it, just not wanting the grief of all the little smartarses. We were shown a really poor quality video and that was it. It was funny in fairness - seemed to be filmed in a local hall in the bogs, with a presentation and Q&A.

I think it's extraordinary that someone who was 16/17 in 2015 didn't know about the morning after pill though. Particularly with all of the online information (which is obviously rife with issues too but the m.a.p is straightforward). 20 years before that, teens knew. Was she from a very sheltered home?

riclad

Our schools are mostly run by the catholic church, say your car breaks down, would you phone the local chemist to fix it. we need to copy other countrys,sex education needs to be thought in a logical sceintific way, that covers things like consent, stds, lgbt rights etc saying the age of consent is 16 is not enough.there needs to be proper training of teachers or else bring in experts to teach it.i got no sex ed. i think young people learn more from watching porn than from the present system of sex ed.there was no sex ed in my school, i did not know about the morning after pill .i think teachers get given a book ,or course materials, i dont think they recieve specific training about sex ed . to teach maths honors you need a basic level of training .maybe some teachers are embarrassed about it, expecting a 50 year old male to teach girls about sex ed without training is a bad idea .

its hard to think of an organisation worse prepared than the catholic church to run a sex ed program.its like asking the taliban to create a female diversity equality education program.if most students were failing maths or english there would be an uproar, theres no test or university points given for teaching sex ed.teachers are employed for 40 years, most teachers maybe have a very basic or zero training re sex education

igCorcaigh

OK, interesting thread... and before I read and think about the posters' contributions above, please let me throw this one out:

My own experience of the topic: a special night (yes, the evening time) arranged for sex ed ,when I was in (an all boys) Primary School in 1985; must have been the last year of school, I was probably 13. At least one parent had to be present (my dad).

Presented by: nuns. I learned something about X and Y chromosomes, stuff like that. The presentation ended with a beautiful poetic image, of two two raindrops on a window, joining in union. Nothing about sex was mentioned. Nothing about contraception, and certainly nothing about STIs.

We went upstairs, to our classroom, where we could write anonymous questions on little pieces of paper, and put them into a box, which were then "answered" in the next part of the presentation. I didn't write anything.

The whole thing was weird, creepy, dangerously insufficient, and embarrassing. I was 13, knew I was gay, and it was in the midst of the AIDS crisis; no abortion services, no contraception, and a totalitarian "moral" ethos in society.

I hope things have changed now, but until we create a secular education system in this country, we really are not a modern society, and there is still a presence of our own Taliban in control of our children.

Josephfromdowntheroad

If a teenager wants an answer to a question they can just Google it.

Pre internet we were clueless

While I agree that church and state should be separate, I don't think it's appropriate to compare the Catholic Church here with the horror that is the Taliban.

I don't agree that we were clueless pre internet either. I wasn't. Depended on your parents and school.

igCorcaigh

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117909649#Comment_117909649

Yes, it is very unfair if I compared our life under RCC rule than those under that of Taliban. It's more a hypey word play, a way to make a point. Apologies.

Don't apologise! 😊

I can absolutely see parallels with a theocracy if you consider some of the church's shenanigans here 55+ years ago, which isn't terribly far back in the wider scheme of things. Many of those who suffered still alive too.

Manky O Toole

Teens learn from porn these days anyway.

igCorcaigh

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117909807#Comment_117909807

That isn't learning though.

Mrs OBumble

Catholic school in the 1980s, overseas. Among other things, we learned about condoms, and practiced putting them on bananas (girls school). So I don't believe that it's Catholicism which makes it short on content.

"Sex education" is a huge topic, which starts in pre-school with learning that other people aren't allowed to do things to your body that hurt you - I'm not aware of anyone saying that part of it is badly done.

Components of it are covered in lots of different classes (biology, literature, whatever civics is called here, etc). Most people pretend that the non-biology parts aren't part of sexuality education - but they are often the best ways of teaching about the range of human experiences.

You could equally ask why maths education is so bad, evident from the number of people who into trouble with debt, or struggle with basic logic in the workplace.

riclad

I presume things have improved a bit since the 80s, we have gay marriage, single mothers are not ostracised, abortion is legal. Maybe there's just no political will to change the sex education system we have now and the government is dealing with a pandemic and the housing crisis i would not be depending on nuns to provide a wide ranging sex education program unless the government brings in a basic standard sex Ed curriculum

To some extent we were a theocratic state in the 70s and the 80s since our education system was so tightly controlled by the Catholic Church change does not happen by accident the dept of education set standards and what kind of material is in textbooks

Glaceon

I think it’s a mixture of two outdated ideas. “The parents should talk about it” and a bit of “sex is for procreation so you shouldn’t be doing it anyway unless you want a baby”.

Strumms

Nothing in primary school that I remember...

secondary school, maybe second or third year I forget which year...anyway we were like true teen perverts all hoping for Ms G to teach us, she was a rude wanker an absolute dickhead in fact and fûcking dreadful teacher but about 27 and ‘stunning’...

ended up being the about 62 year old form teacher Mr M ... who seemed to have less interest even then his knowledge of the subject...when he began mispronunciations of body parts and not for comical effect.... a ‘vageena’..l never came across a girl with one of those sir, no pun intended.

Shao Kahn

Is it a bit odd that we are supposed to be the most intelligent animal on this spinning ball of loopy-ness, yet we are also the only animal that needs education on sex! :D

As the nike ad says "just do it!". Our big brains seem to always want to over-complicate things. Keep it simple, stupid!

In the 1990s / early 2000s we got absolutely none whatsoever, but we did have marriage guidance classes in Transition Year ?!? These were basically discussions with an all male group of 16 year olds about communication within a hypothetical marriage and about bringing Jesus into your marriage…

As you can imagine, we took this very seriously… Absolutely nobody asked any fake questions for comedy value, or wound up the teacher about this ludicrous class…

We did, however, have an utterly weird teacher who kept asking strange questions about stuff like who had chest hair etc and bringing up totally inappropriate topics when he was supposed to be teaching an academic subject. I also had similar weird and creepy crap in 6th class, from an older member of a religious order as a primary teacher.

In general, just found the whole Irish school experience on those topics abysmal and downright weird.

Mad_maxx

Some people are just a bit thick, I never received any sex - Ed at home and very little at school but between juvenile schoolyard banter and what was in the science book in first year, it wasn't that difficult to piece it together

Manky O Toole

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117911116#Comment_117911116

This. Pretty easy to figure out what goes where. And everyone knows a girl who got knocked up at 15or so, so you get a crash course in contraception.

Tell me how

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117912005#Comment_117912005

Maybe the 15 year old and her likely similarly aged partner would have benefitted from a more formal communication process whether in the class room or at home before they found themselves in such a life changing position.

Manky O Toole

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117912018#Comment_117912018

Not my problem. I was the nerd who never got laid in school, so seeing popular kids ruin their lives was funny to me.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117910100#Comment_117910100

Avoiding pregnancy when too young, and avoiding STDs.

Tell me how

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117912026#Comment_117912026

Should put that as your bio on dating apps.

Manky O Toole

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117912038#Comment_117912038

Who needs dating apps when you have escorts?

Tell me how

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117912042#Comment_117912042

Whatever works for you.

Does however bring us back to the benefit of good sex-ed and and particularly the risks around STD's.

Loafing Oaf

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117912042#Comment_117912042

The ultimate Passion Wagon

Mad_maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117912018#Comment_117912018

Some people are either thick or irresponsible

The state can't wipe everyone's ar5e

riclad

People need to know about stds , contraception, issues around consent, etc the average couple now has 1 or 2 children, obviously they are using contraception.we spend 100s of hours learning irish in secondary, maybe we could put together a modern sex ed program for 2022 .is it really that difficult ,or maybe no politican wants to get involved in this area .theres not much votes in saying ,im in favor of a modern sex ed curriculum.we spend millions each year teaching irish, how many actually speak irish in real life, maybe a few people who work in tg4, rte, or in the gaeltacht.

Most people will end up being in a relationship and having sex at some point.

I was born early 60s, got basic sex education at convent school from lay teacher who taught it well and afforded discussion. Of course there was no readily available contraception or anything back then, so it didn’t include those practicalities. Both of my parents gave me plenty of information from their perspective rives and did not shy away from the subject, unlike many of their contemporaries.

Mrs OBumble

They should teach Sex Ed in Irish, will improve the quality of one and the interest in the other simultaneously!

khalessi

Not sure what happens these days in secondary school but in primary the children learn the names of the vagina and penis when teacher shows washing a doll (baby) in junior/senior infants while talking about washing, might mention and we lift up penis to clean skin underneath or wash between legs around vagina etc.

3rd class learn about the baby growing during pregnancy.

4th how the body changes, hormones importance of hygiene.

5th class periods/ejaculation and class can write down questions they want to ask. They are split for the answers because there are some questions girls want answered by female teachers and boys by males. The questions are checked by teachers prior to answer session.

In 6th the busy bodies video is shown which is about sex/sexual penetration. Q&A session similar to 5th class. Questions not covered by curriculum / Catholic ethos of school cannot be answered such as "how do I know I am gay" or " I think I am LGTQIA.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/117913178#Comment_117913178

True! 😂

riclad

Teach sed Ed in Irish? Good idea , cos 90 per cent of people will instantly forget all they know once they finish the leaving cert. Interesting so as far as the Catholic Church teachs sex Ed gay people do not exist

Duckworth_Luas

Started sex ed at 14 back in the 1990s, very comprehensive.

Sgt Hartman

The closest I had to it was biology in 3rd year Science when the teacher mentioned about the penis going "stiff and erect". I giggled like a girl when he said that and he asked "ARE YOU AMUUUSED??" me "no sir", him "ARE YOU SUUURE????"in his thick Tipperary accent. He then started talking about " de sperrum" travelling to "de egg" afterwards.

FunLover18

Judging by some of the posts, a lot people seem to think sex education amounts to "the penis goes in the vagina". We're not talking about The Meaning of Life sketch where John Cleese brings his wife into school to have sex with her in front of his students.

riclad

Maybe if they brought in a modern sex Ed curriculum it might not be used in most schools as it would go against the beliefs of the Catholic Church if gay rights or contraception was part of the curriculum

mariaalice

Teenagers here what they want to here so even the subject is taught to them they would recreate a narrative to suit whatever situation they end up in and say they were never given the information, now they really believe they were not giving the information it's a protective mechanism when things go wrong, plus values are picked up from parents, parents who are comfortable around sex and sexuality will produce children who are. Male role models are very important.

https://www.rte.ie/news/courts/2021/0920/1247932-court-rape/#:~:text=A%2016%2Dyear%2Dold%20boy,to%20six%20years%20in%20prison.

You would wonder what kind of male role models they had.

I was lucky I had a mother who made sure I knew what end was up and what went where, by the time I was 12. I think she was pretty rare for her times, in fairness. She started with a book she used to give us to read, and then asked us to come back to her with any questions.

I did same with my own daughter. I really don't understand any parent who would avoid such an important subject and leave it in the hands of schools, to teach?