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Dealing with not knowing

  • 12-08-2021 2:42pm
    Registered Users Posts: 1,398 ✭✭✭

    I'm trying to move city and the search for a house is soul crushing. 

    A friend knew someone leaving their room this weekend. We got in touch, had a video tour of the place, I said I was interested. The room is available from Sunday so I feel like there's a bit of a time sensitivity here.

    The guy leaving said I was front runner. But, he doesn't have final say, and had to give a list of potentials to the landlord. He did that Sunday evening. He really should not have told me I was front runner, cos I have no idea how that translates to my chances with the landlord. Probably, it doesn't.

    It's now Thursday afternoon and I have heard nothing from anyone about the room. I'm almost convinced I didn't get it, and the stress is really killing me.

    Anxiety really is destructive. Does anyone know what I can do to try and calm my mind?

    I've messaged the guy leaving the room already on Tuesday, he said he didn't know anything but would follow up with the LL. I've also messaged someone who would be still living in the house but nothing back.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,419 ✭✭✭antix80

    Airbnb or short-term rental can be a good idea for the first month or two as it will allow you to get established in a new city without the stress of finding a permanent home.

    Disadvantage is you'll pay above the odds and still have to find somewhere to rent long-term.

    As for calming your mind.... "if it's for you it won't pass you.". sorry, i know that's cliche but it is true. It's basically about acceptance,in this case accepting the wait, accepting the result...

    The only other advice is to keep looking in the meantime. You'll be busier so it will stop you worrying, and you might find somewhere better.

  • Registered Users Posts: 691 ✭✭✭jmlad2020

    Unfortunately you should not take someone's word on these things. Housemates will have the last say in some cases. Always have a back up viewing

    - You should always find a place in good time and not leave it to the last minute.

    -you always have hostels as a back up (they are cheap and they have a policy of 50% capacity per room at present i.e 4 bed dorm will only have 1 other person (you will likely have it to yourself as no tourists)

    - Reply to several ads at a time as a back up. Do you use Daft, These are the best. apply apply apply.

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,457 ✭✭✭YellowLead

    Do you have a specific deadline? As in a job or course that starts at a particular time?

    As some people have mentioned, I know people who have stayed in hostels while looking.

    I wouldn’t hold out hope for that room you mentioned - you can never put all of your eggs in one basket. Keep at it.

    i heard somebody mention recently that they got their place by putting an add up looking for a room. Apparently some landlords don’t want to advertise and will look on there.

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,272 ✭✭✭qwerty13

    As mad as this may sound, I’d treat your situation like dating:

    • don’t put all your eggs in the one basket
    • don’t over-invest too soon (in this instance, believing that you have the place until it’s confirmed)
    • be prepared to be ‘interviewed’ to see if you’re a fit with the others in the house/apartment share
    • write your own profile for a ‘looking for a share’ ad. Be honest, you may find likeminded souls
    • ask your wider social circle if they have any connections looking for a housemate

    If you don’t mind me saying, your mindset should be ‘how can I get a room in a good houseshare’. Not ‘how do I get over the anxiety that I may not get this particular houseshare’.