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How to stop obsessing

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  • 28-06-2021 8:12pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Ive recently began seeing a new man and very quickly have come to like him quite allot. I think this is mutual but its early days.
    Its unlike me to meet someone I like this much, it never happens infact. This is the first time ive felt like this for someone in years.
    My problem is im obsessing. I think about him constantly, I nearly crashed my car into a path today as my mind was on him and not on the road. My mind constantly wanders to thoughts of him no matter what im doing and I cant control it.
    Im very busy day to day with my own life so its not from boredom.
    Does anyone else experience this? I really wish I could stop.


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    #2
    bitofabind
    Registered Users Posts: 939 ✭✭✭bitofabind


    Here's a few ideas:

    1. Remind yourself that you've just met this man so you don't know him, and you're obsessing about who you want him to be, rather than who he is.

    2. Remind yourself that you've been living your whole life without knowing this person and you've been fine, so you can definitely go on without them if things don't work out.

    3. Read this and see if you can identify with any of the attachment styles:
    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201307/how-your-attachment-style-impacts-your-relationship


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    #3
    YellowLead
    Registered Users Posts: 7,681 ✭✭✭YellowLead


    Look, it’s an exiting feeling when you meet somebody new and you like them, and even more so when it seems to be mutual as that’s hard to find. So naturally a bit of day dreaming will occur.

    But if it’s constant then that’s a little dangerous as you are in danger of building up more of an attachment to him than there is in reality and the lines between reality and day dreaming can blur.

    You say you have a busy life but if you are working and actually getting work done you will find there is no time to be obsessing. You have to fill your time with other things that command your attention. Meet up with friends - continue life as you had before him.


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