When events go weird...

Sky King

Taking inspiration from the Weddings Ruined thread - anyone got any weird or generally disastrous event stories to share? I'll go:

A friend of a friend of a friend was having a birthday party at his house. His birthday was in October. He knew I had gear so he got in touch and asked me if I would hire him speakers and lights and stuff. No problem, I'll even do it cheap - for the craic. I love house parties. Then he says it will be fancy dress given the time of year and all. No problem. I love fancy dress. Was I expected to be in fancy dress too? It might be nice, says he. Ok sure, whatever. 

Then he tells me it's a Tim Burton fancy dress party.  So I say 'oh so you mean like we have to dress as cups of revolting petrol station coffee?' No that's Tim Hortons he says. Then he explains who Tim Burton is. I think he's a bit autistic. Whatever. I decide not to bother my hole with fancy dress.

Anyway I get to his gaff out the boonies in the afternoon and set up all the gear. Bit of a weird vibe in the place (intense, staring parents, no siblings) but I'm easy. I set up the speakers playing a playlist. Then the hours tick by, meanwhile I'm pounding cans of Tyskie and being stared at. Occasional whispering.. I am expecting a big crowd of Edward Scissorshandzez and Beetleji and Petrol Station Coffees to waltz in at any minute. 

Nobody fckin shows up. Nobody.

The guys ma starts freaking about her sons disaster of a party so she rings around for a rent a crowd. Friends / neighbours etc. At least that's my theory anyway, I didnt see her make a call or anything but suddenly all these random hicks show up. None of them in fancy dress. It was like a christening or something. A far cry from the dark / goth / edgy aesthetic the dude was going for. At least there were people though, even if they were all old aunties who wanted the grease megamix. Some of them actually looked like they would be well cast in a Tim Burton movie.

The only person at the party who was in fancy dress was a guy in a pristine Darth Vader costume. Like, who the fcuk wears a darth vader costume to a Tim Burton / Hortons party? The host was in terrible form when I met him in the corridor going down the jacks so to cheer him up I told him the theme was a great idea and was too advanced for the crowd he had, and I liberally took the piss out of the kind of tool who goes to a Tim Horton's party as Darth Vader. Then, get this as soon as I finish calling Darth Vader a clueless bell end he walks around the corner. He probably heard most of me going 'what a spa' etc etc. I'm fkin dying.

He doesn't say anything, he just stands there looking at me, probing my soul with his dead, vacant, soulless, plastic, featureless gaze for about 30 seconds which was incredibly, incredibly surreal and really unsettling and intimidating.  Then he walked dramatically past me, his cape swishing, and went back into the dancefloor to give it socks to whatever it was that was being played on a playlist that was probably called 'Worst Wedding DJ Songs Ever'. 

When it was all over the guy stiffed me for the gear hire because his party was a fcuckup (clearly my fault right?) and someone (suspected darth vader) puked on the floor of the sitting room and then walked it around the house. He said he would owe me the money. I never got it back out of him. He didn't help me pack my gear in the van either. He moved away last I heard. Prick.

silliussoddius

I thought it was going to go into Eyes Wide Shut territory.

..... Ok

Kaybaykwah

Sky King wrote: »

Taking inspiration from the Weddings Ruined thread - anyone got any weird or generally disastrous event stories to share? I'll go:

A friend of a friend of a friend was having a birthday party at his house. His birthday was in October. He knew I had gear so he got in touch and asked me if I would hire him speakers and lights and stuff. No problem, I'll even do it cheap - for the craic. I love house parties. Then he says it will be fancy dress given the time of year and all. No problem. I love fancy dress. Was I expected to be in fancy dress too? It might be nice, says he. Ok sure, whatever. 

Then he tells me it's a Tim Burton fancy dress party.  So I say 'oh so you mean like we have to dress as cups of revolting petrol station coffee?' No that's Tim Hortons he says. Then he explains who Tim Burton is. I think he's a bit autistic. Whatever. I decide not to bother my hole with fancy dress.

Anyway I get to his gaff out the boonies in the afternoon and set up all the gear. Bit of a weird vibe in the place (intense, staring parents, no siblings) but I'm easy. I set up the speakers playing a playlist. Then the hours tick by, meanwhile I'm pounding cans of Tyskie and being stared at. Occasional whispering.. I am expecting a big crowd of Edward Scissorshandzez and Beetleji and Petrol Station Coffees to waltz in at any minute. 

Nobody fckin shows up. Nobody.

The guys ma starts freaking about her sons disaster of a party so she rings around for a rent a crowd. Friends / neighbours etc. At least that's my theory anyway, I didnt see her make a call or anything but suddenly all these random hicks show up. None of them in fancy dress. It was like a christening or something. A far cry from the dark / goth / edgy aesthetic the dude was going for. At least there were people though, even if they were all old aunties who wanted the grease megamix. Some of them actually looked like they would be well cast in a Tim Burton movie.

The only person at the party who was in fancy dress was a guy in a pristine Darth Vader costume. Like, who the fcuk wears a darth vader costume to a Tim Burton / Hortons party? The host was in terrible form when I met him in the corridor going down the jacks so to cheer him up I told him the theme was a great idea and was too advanced for the crowd he had, and I liberally took the piss out of the kind of tool who goes to a Tim Horton's party as Darth Vader. Then, get this as soon as I finish calling Darth Vader a clueless bell end he walks around the corner. He probably heard most of me going 'what a spa' etc etc. I'm fkin dying.

He doesn't say anything, he just stands there looking at me, probing my soul with his dead, vacant, soulless, plastic, featureless gaze for about 30 seconds which was incredibly, incredibly surreal and really unsettling and intimidating.  Then he walked dramatically past me, his cape swishing, and went back into the dancefloor to give it socks to whatever it was that was being played on a playlist that was probably called 'Worst Wedding DJ Songs Ever'. 

When it was all over the guy stiffed me for the gear hire because his party was a fcuckup (clearly my fault right?) and someone (suspected darth vader) puked on the floor of the sitting room and then walked it around the house. He said he would owe me the money. I never got it back out of him. He didn't help me pack my gear in the van either. He moved away last I heard. Prick.

At least you got to see Darth Vader.

Didn't know you could get Tim Hortons coffee in Ireland.

OP you've being plagiarising from more than the ruined threads I see. Maybe even one of mine.

One of my poo threads, so I'm not too upset

Sky King

Sky King wrote: »

A friend of a friend of a friend was having a birthday party at his house. His birthday was in October. He knew I had gear so he got in touch...

I really thought this thread was going off in an unusual direction at this point.

Next time do one about bringing heroin to a house-party. That's a good story.