Alternatives to the Foreign Legion

Montage of Feck

So I need to disappear completely before this covid malarkey ends but my french is merde.

Tom Mann Centuria

In a documentary I saw they all speak English. It turns out Phil Silvers and Kenneth Williams did a stint in it.

Car99

Montage of Feck wrote: »

So I need to disappear completely before this covid malarkey ends but my french is merde.

They'll take you.

An Ri rua

Have you considered a religious order? Catholic/Protestant. It doesn't matter. Experts at moving staff out of the limelight for a while. They'll send you our on the Missions for a while. Or maybe down to Kerry.

Mimon

Think they are short of Ladyboys in Thailand at the moment if you are looking to try something different.

Capt'n Midnight

You could always join the Spanish Foreign Legion instead.

I see sheep

Go to Cavan

beachhead

French Foreign Legion does not require fluent french to sign up but you'll have become a fluent speaker within a short time-lessons provided.They are particular about any criminal record -not like in the past.

Montage of Feck

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

You could always join the Spanish Foreign Legion instead.

Being in the service of the king of Spain wouldn't be for me.

corner of hells

Montage of Feck wrote: »

Being in the service of the king of Spain wouldn't be for me.

There are lady Spanish legionnaires nowadays.

HerrKapitan

Montage of Feck wrote: »

Being in the service of the king of Spain wouldn't be for me.

But being in the service of our enemies in the siege of jadotville would?

Try Mountain Meitheal instead

Pherekydes

Montage of Feck wrote: »

So I need to disappear completely before this covid malarkey ends but my french is merde.

Invent an invisibility cloak/device/drug.

HerrKapitan

HerrKapitan wrote: »

But being in the service of our enemies in the siege of jadotville would?

They were Belgian.

Yurt2

Montage of Feck wrote: »

So I need to disappear completely before this covid malarkey ends but my french is merde.

They'll fairly shout it into you nice and smart I'd imagine. Better than taking a 4 year French literature degree in Trinity.


Don't the US army take non-citizens? Years ago I was approached by recruiters in a mall in the States, tried to get them to go away by telling them I wasn't a citizen but they said it wasn't a problem that lots of non-citizens join. This was when both Iraq and Afghanistan were in full swing though, so perhaps they were bending rules at the time.

Yurt!

Yurt! wrote: »

They'll fairly shout it into you nice and smart I'd imagine. Better than taking a 4 year French literature degree in Trinity.


Don't the US army take non-citizens? Years ago I was approached by recruiters in a mall in the States, tried to get them to go away by telling them I wasn't a citizen but they said it wasn't a problem that lots of non-citizens join. This was when both Iraq and Afghanistan were in full swing though, so perhaps they were bending rules at the time.

You have to be legally already resident there - ie already have a Green card or whatever.

Yurt2

Deleted User wrote: »

You have to be legally already resident there - ie already have a Green card or whatever.

Ah fair enough. Having met a few serving US members overseas over the years, it actually seems like a pretty interesting life if you're from Bumblef*ckville Alabama or wherever. Getting stationed in places like Germany or Japan, earning ok coin, learning skills, etc. Free college tuition at some of the best universities in the world via the GI Bill (if you're accepted that is).

Certainly better than getting addicted to crack and marrying a stripper - although I'm sure many still do once they finish their service.

Gorteen

Montage of Feck wrote: »

So I need to disappear completely before this covid malarkey ends but my french is merde.

Get yourself on a HSE waiting list.....you're guaranteed to disappear into obscurity in no time...

Terry..

Montage of Feck wrote: »

So I need to disappear completely before this covid malarkey ends but my french is merde.

737 Max pilot

Don't be befuddling yourself with them foreign legions. Keep it local by joining the The Legion of Mary.

silverharp

Dublin Corporation cleaner?

Manach

Hop on a Ryanair flight passing by Belarus after making some disparaging comments about the President. Gone for good.

Gregor Samsa

You've a few options:

Scientology - specifically "Operating Thetan Level 8", which can only be attained onboard their ship Freewinds.
Garin Tzabar - the IDF's "lone soldier" programme for those not from Israel.
Astronaut - on board the space stations ISS or Tiangong.
Poor Clare Sisters - enclosed order of nuns.
Lighthouse keeper - despite automation, there's still a few needed in remote areas of the world.
ISIS - you could be a bride if you don't want to fight
Door-to-door sales for Eir - no one will ever want to talk to you.
Bigfoot - self-identify as a Sasquatch and build a den in the woods in Oregon.

Feisar

Gregor Samsa wrote: »

Garin Tzabar - the IDF's "lone soldier" programme for those not from Israel

Just done a google search, da fuq!

ShatterAlan

Montage of Feck wrote: »

So I need to disappear completely before this covid malarkey ends but my french is merde.

Your chances of surviving Covid are infinitely higher than surviving Foreign Legion basic training.

Piehead

Montage of Feck wrote: »

So I need to disappear completely before this covid malarkey ends but my french is merde.

There was a lad on the military forum who joined the legion with little french.

https://touch.boards.ie/thread/2057831522/19/#post116320945

Dunno how he got on. Seemed a bit cracked

Gregor Samsa

A neighbour of mine (an Irish guy) was in the French Foreign Legion years ago. Any time France are playing, he hangs a very large tricolore from an upstairs window - he has it out today for the Portugal match. I don't know if he can speak French.

85603

You could go into the bouncey house.
Probably meet a few of the conspiracy theory forums regulars in there.

AlphabetCards

Go for it OP, joining an army is great craic. If I could go back to my early twenties I'd have given the FFL a shot.

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

You could always join the Spanish Foreign Legion instead.

Hasn't existed for some time.

Jeremy Beagle wrote: »

They were Belgian.

There were quite a few French involved at official level.

corner of hells

AlphabetCards wrote: »

Go for it OP, joining an army is great craic. If I could go back to my early twenties I'd have given the FFL a shot.



Hasn't existed for some time.



There were quite a few French involved at official level.

I think you'll find the Spanish foreign Legion are still very much in existence.

AlphabetCards

corner of hells wrote: »

I think you'll find the Spanish foreign Legion are still very much in existence.

Is it not the Spanish Legion now? The 'foreign' contingent is gone from it. As far as I know, only the French, Russians and Israeli have 'foreign' legions now.

corner of hells

AlphabetCards wrote: »

Is it not the Spanish Legion now? The 'foreign' contingent is gone from it. As far as I know, only the French, Russians and Israeli have 'foreign' legions now.

Thats it ! you're getting a bayonet through the hand for dissent.

Esel

Gregor Samsa wrote: »

A neighbour of mine (an Irish guy) was in the French Foreign Legion years ago. Any time France are playing, he hangs a very large tricolore from an upstairs window - he has it out today for the Portugal match. I don't know if he can speak French.

If he can't speak very good French, he's a Walt. Ask him if he still has his kepi.

AlphabetCards

corner of hells wrote: »

Thats it ! you're getting a bayonet through the hand for dissent.

Not again

cj maxx

Montage of Feck wrote: »

So I need to disappear completely before this covid malarkey ends but my french is merde.

Marriage

Gregor Samsa

Esel wrote: »

If he can't speak very good French, he's a Walt. Ask him if he still has his kepi.

He ran the Marathon des Sables, a 6 day 251km ultramarathon in the Sahara Desert in Morocco a couple of years ago (and there’s independent proof of this). I’m not going to question his French or his background.

Capt'n Midnight

AlphabetCards wrote: »

Capt'n Midnight wrote:

You could always join the Spanish Foreign Legion instead.

Hasn't existed for some time.

A minor detail.

Just speak slowly, clearly and very loudly so Johnny Foreigner can understand and it'll all be sorted.

corner of hells

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

A minor detail.

Just speak slowly, clearly and very loudly so Johnny Foreigner can understand and it'll all be sorted.

Qué ?

beerguts

Try and become a Moderator on boards.ie

You will disapear up your hole pretty soon afterwards.

Ban in 3, 2 1......

Capt'n Midnight

corner of hells wrote: »

Qué ?

Just speak slowly, clearly and very loudly so Johnny Foreigner can understand and it'll all be sorted.

Manic Moran

Yurt! wrote: »

Ah fair enough. Having met a few serving US members overseas over the years, it actually seems like a pretty interesting life if you're from Bumblef*ckville Alabama or wherever. Getting stationed in places like Germany or Japan, earning ok coin, learning skills, etc. Free college tuition at some of the best universities in the world via the GI Bill (if you're accepted that is).

Certainly better than getting addicted to crack and marrying a stripper - although I'm sure many still do once they finish their service.

Even if you’re from a cosmopolitan place and travel a lot, the benefits are awesome. Joining the US Army was one of the best moves I did. IFR pilot training more than half paid for by the GI bill, a VA Loan provided the opportunity to buy a house at a lower-than-average mortgage rate with $0 down, I get a reasonable pension (though they have recently moved to a private-sector type matching scheme for newer recruits), lower insurance rates, tax-free shopping on base, and other assorted fringe benefits. It even provides good motivation to keep in shape (Fail to keep in shape, get fired) which ought to help out later in life.

Bobblehats

I’d sooner a camp salesman in an upmarket boutique! Nobody ever got debonaires disease

Andrea B.

Poor Clares.

BalcombeSt4

Join the Viet Cong instead.

housetypeb

Try the militant wing of the Salvation Army.