People triggering my puppy

simo999

Hey I recently got a puppy. He’s a great dog and a great addition to the family. We wanted a dog for years but we had to wait until we bought a house.

We’ve sent him to dog training and we have put in a lot of time and effort to ensure he’s well behaved. He’s a retriever. We both grew up with retrievers. He’s so good and it’s a rewarding experience.

However, there is a woman who lives on my road who constantly triggers him. He will be fine out on a walk and then she stops him from across the road and shouts his name and he starts to try run over and drag me. When she sees him she constantly has her hands up in the air and he thinks she has a treat and keeps jumping. I try to get him to calm down with techniques but she undermines me and it doesn’t work. I’ve tried to go out at different times of the day but it never seems to work, she doesn’t seem to work and is constantly around. We always bump into her. after he sees her he’s very poorly behaved like he won’t walk or he will start jumping on me or overall just too giddy.

Our neighbours are having similar issues with her and their puppy. I will say oh don’t give him a treat because I have some in my pocket but it doesn’t work. We would be crossing the main road and she would call him and I get dragged. I actually don’t know how to confront this neighbour without sounding like a bully but it’s getting to the stage I’m at my wits end. I work from home mostly but if I walk him on my lunch break the days I’m in the office which is quite close to my house I am nearly late getting back because she just disrupts him so much. I’m nearly missing zooms and everything. A 15 min walk will takes 45 min cus of her.

She constantly tries to get me take my dog off leash as well but my dog has very poor recall which I am working on and he won’t be going off his leash until it’s safe for him and the public. So everyday I get that I’m a bad dog mom because I won’t let him off his leash even tho I explain he has no recall and not everyone likes dogs. She has a retriever also who has been knocked down multiple times, nearly causes car crashes in our estate and has no recall. He’s not very well groomed, very poorly behaved and can’t walk on a leash properly and he’s an adult.

I am at my wits end how to deal with this woman. I am thinking of cutting out our lunch time walks but I know it’s not fair for him then. I’ve tried to talk to her and say I’m trying to train him but it’s no use. If we go a different way and she sees us she will shout his name. I know she is just being friendly and obviously cares very much for the dog but I don’t want him to be fully grown and still acting like this.

Any advice?

D3V!L

Sounds more of a neighbour problem rather than a dog problem. Tell her to keep away from you. Simple as that.

fits

Say stop calling my dog and refuse to let your pup drag you over there. Who’s in charge here? You are.

I'm not a dog owner myself but I agree with the other poster that this is more of an assertiveness issue rather than a pet-related one.

I know we all want to keep our neighbours on side but you cant keep letting this neighbour have her way.

It might feel like it's being forced on you, but it's not - you're letting her do this.

If I was you, next time she calls out, just say 'sorry can't stop!' and keep on walking. There's also the option of ignoring her entirely. I dont want to go against those in-the-know about proper dog training, so I'm happy to be corrected, but when I've walked dogs before I've always been told to stop and hold fast when they're pulling against the lead, so that they know you're the boss and you're going nowhere until they calm down.

jimmycrackcorm

Shouldn't the first thing you do is to talk to the woman, explain and ask her to refrain?

tk123

There's always somebody like this and i'm going to assume she won't listen if you approach her. You need to work out what's a higher value to your dog than seeing her - eg a squeaky toy, a really high value treat/chew/cheese/black pudding etc that will make the dog focus on you instead of her. Hold it in your hand when you see her and reward him when she's out of sight. I wouldn't say she's triggering the dog, more she's highlighting gaps in your training. If he's dragging you over to her you need to work on his self control or counter act with a sit, jumping up again you need to teach a really solid sit (there's a recent thread on this), recall as you say you have a gap here and quite rightly you're not allowing him off lead.

The most important thing of all is that somebody is always going to think they know better - like yourself I tend to bite my tongue but sometimes you will need to speak up. It's not fair to have to change or cancel your walk to avoid her. Earphones would be another tool i use so people don't stop me on my lunch walks - wear a headset if you need to and pretend your on a call lol.

simo999

I tried but it’s gets nowhere!

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

Shouldn't the first thing you do is to talk to the woman, explain and ask her to refrain?

simo999

You’re right I don’t want to be seen as rude as I only recently moved around here but I do need to set boundaries. I hate conflict of any type but you’re right. Even though I do tell her I’m in a rush I’m going to have to say it again but in a more assertive tone and keep walking. Thanks

true-or-false wrote: »

I'm not a dog owner myself but I agree with the other poster that this is more of an assertiveness issue rather than a pet-related one.

I know we all want to keep our neighbours on side but you cant keep letting this neighbour have her way.

It might feel like it's being forced on you, but it's not - you're letting her do this.

If I was you, next time she calls out, just say 'sorry can't stop!' and keep on walking. There's also the option of ignoring her entirely. I dont want to go against those in-the-know about proper dog training, so I'm happy to be corrected, but when I've walked dogs before I've always been told to stop and hold fast when they're pulling against the lead, so that they know you're the boss and you're going nowhere until they calm down.

simo999

Exactly everyone we meet think they’re a dog expert. Lol.

I actually carry meat around as a treat for him but might try something different he hasn’t had before to see if that will work. It is highlighting gaps you’re right, I will look at the thread you mentioned.

I always have my airpods! I actually do tell her I’m on a work call some days and it still doesn’t work lol. So I started to carry my phone in my hand and pretend to talk when I see her. My heads tormented with this. Lol

tk123 wrote: »

There's always somebody like this and i'm going to assume she won't listen if you approach her. You need to work out what's a higher value to your dog than seeing her - eg a squeaky toy, a really high value treat/chew/cheese/black pudding etc that will make the dog focus on you instead of her. Hold it in your hand when you see her and reward him when she's out of sight. I wouldn't say she's triggering the dog, more she's highlighting gaps in your training. If he's dragging you over to her you need to work on his self control or counter act with a sit, jumping up again you need to teach a really solid sit (there's a recent thread on this), recall as you say you have a gap here and quite rightly you're not allowing him off lead.

The most important thing of all is that somebody is always going to think they know better - like yourself I tend to bite my tongue but sometimes you will need to speak up. It's not fair to have to change or cancel your walk to avoid her. Earphones would be another tool i use so people don't stop me on my lunch walks - wear a headset if you need to and pretend your on a call lol.

tk123

simo999 wrote: »

Exactly everyone we meet think they’re a dog expert. Lol.

I actually carry meat around as a treat for him but might try something different he hasn’t had before to see if that will work. It is highlighting gaps you’re right, I will look at the thread you mentioned.

I always have my airpods! I actually do tell her I’m on a work call some days and it still doesn’t work lol. So I started to carry my phone in my hand and pretend to talk when I see her. My heads tormented with this. Lol

It's tough - everyone is also a vet as you'll find out if your dog is ever sick or injured.:rolleyes:

Maybe try something that's only for walks - a special toy, a special treat that he's not used to seeing/getting except for his walks. The squeeze pouches of baby food/smoothie for example are very handy and cheap enough in Lidl/Aldi - I often use them for training.

twiddleypop

Oh dear. I think getting a dog makes you learn so much about yourself. I also really struggle with assertiveness too.

My dog loves people and there are a few people in the park he will make a beeline for if he knows he will get treats/attention no matter what treats I have. (so much for loyalty) I finally got him so that he doesn't run away if I have a ball but there were times I thought the day would never come. Took a long time for him to show interest in the ball but he is pretty good now.

It's really tough that she is there all the time, I roughly know a lot of peoples schedules by now and avoid certain people like the plague.

Locotastic

Pretend to be on the phone and very busy don't allow the dog to go off course, keep walking it's the only way.

She'll soon stop bothering.

My dog is like this with the kids that play around our green area, he loves them and will strain and pull to get over to them when he sees them. I just keep walking and swiftly get him past, he's forgotten about it by the time we turn the corner.

Don't allow him to drag you off course, you don't have to ignore her just a smile/nod and keep going.

micah537

If you don't want to be rude or cause conflict, tell her your dog has a bad stomach and can't eat cheap treats as he will get diarrhoea.

Alternatively if you have a car, leave the area so you can avoid her.

Jequ0n

I don’t mean to sound harsh but I really don’t think the nicely nicely approach is going to work here, nor should it. I appreciate that you don’t want to be seen as rude but this person is totally undermining you which can have a very negative effect on your dog when they notice a lack of control from you.

One thing you can do is to try and explain to her why you do not your dog to be distracted in such manner. If it persists then I’d be direct and drop the nice approach for 2 reasons. Firstly they are out of line and secondly the dog is your responsibility.

If this teaches the dog that a person holding up their hands and gesturing in a certain way means attention and maybe treats you will have a problem on your hands down the line, and people that he jumps at will not care why your dog behaves this way and won’t listen to you.

This is not meant as a dig at you, I am just not good at expressing myself differently.

As someone else mentioned this could be a good starting point to work on your assertiveness. I am sure you wouldn’t accept other people interfering with the parenting on your children so why would anyone think it acceptable to do the same with your dog.