Black Tie Weddings

yourdeadwright

Hey guys

Just thought id start a little conversation and see what the general feeling is around black tie weddings ,

Iv been to a few myself and i actually think it works brilliant at Christmas/ New years time but i'm not so sure when its a spring or summer wedding, personally i like the colours you see on people at a Summer wedding for example,

What do you guys think ? do you like them , are they two much, are they two much of a hassle ?

JayRoc

yourdeadwright wrote: »

Hey guys

Just thought id start a little conversation and see what the general feeling is around black tie weddings ,

Iv been to a few myself and i actually think it works brilliant at Christmas/ New years time but i'm not so sure when its a spring or summer wedding, personally i like the colours you see on people at a Summer wedding for example,

What do you guys think ? do you like them , are they two much, are they two much of a hassle ?

I've never been to a black tie wedding and after the 18 months we've all just had, it sounds like it might be fun.

woodchuck

I've never been to a black tie wedding, but I'm not keen on the idea tbh. I assume the dress code is tuxedos for men and floor length evening ball gowns for women? It just seems like an unnecessary added expensive for guests, as most will need to hire or buy new clothes for the day.

Smee_Again

Never been to one but if it was done right it could be fun. The venue, entertainment, meal and service etc would have to match the dress code, can't be asking people to come in formal wear to a wedding in a converted barn with a buffet style meal (no insult intended to such a wedding, that's what my wedding was supposed to be).

It would probably work better in winter than in summer.

Overall it'd probably be more expensive for everyone and could be difficult to pull off properly.

yourdeadwright

woodchuck wrote: »

I've never been to a black tie wedding, but I'm not keen on the idea tbh. I assume the dress code is tuxedos for men and floor length evening ball gowns for women? It just seems like an unnecessary added expensive for guests, as most will need to hire or buy new clothes for the day.

Ye certainly the main draw back for me,
A suit can be used for many different occasion but its not often you have to get a Tuxedo out & to be fair if its in 2 years time there's a chance it won't fit any more

As you rightly pointed out and extra expense for guests
Funny enough the ones iv all been to have been City centre weddings so a Taxi home after was an option & saved on a hotel stay, Although for many the hotel stay is the fun part of the day ,

PhoenixParker

I once read a guideline that said: A wedding should be like any other party you'd throw except a bit nicer.

And I think it's pretty solid.

Like if you, your friends and family are the type who attend black tie events every year or thereabouts, then a black tie wedding is appropriate, have at it.

If on the other hand that's not something any of your attendees ever do, you should probably reconsider.

A wedding is seriously expensive for guests, black tie is just more unnecessary expense

Feisar

Black tie is evening wear so inappropriate for a wedding. Having said that it prevents people rocking up in t shirts and jeans. However stating formal wear on the invites should also prevent this.

BT does look good in the photos though.

JimmyVik

I think I would rather get covid.
Have had to go to a few black tie events for work.
The local tux hire companies would be delighted though.
Going to weddings is expensive enough as it is.

I love the idea of a black tie wedding. I've come across bridal parties where the groom and groomsmen are in tuxes (spelling?) but the guests are dressed as they wish. I wanted my lad and his best man to wear one but not a hope.

Feisar

Feisar wrote: »

Black tie is evening wear so inappropriate for a wedding. Having said that it prevents people rocking up in t shirts and jeans. However stating formal wear on the invites should also prevent this.

BT does look good in the photos though.

Why is it inappropriate? I don't think there are any rules around what you wear.

JPup

Feisar wrote: »

Black tie is evening wear so inappropriate for a wedding. Having said that it prevents people rocking up in t shirts and jeans. However stating formal wear on the invites should also prevent this.

BT does look good in the photos though.

Most weddings in Ireland are evening affairs these days though. The traditional wedding breakfasts went out of fashion in the 80s if not before.

yourdeadwright

Deleted User wrote: »

Why is it inappropriate? I don't think there are any rules around what you wear.

I think what the poster means that Black tie is traditionally "Evening Wear " for parties when its dark ,

Wedding's normal begin in the day & ones in the spring or summer it'll be bright out till late,

yourdeadwright

yourdeadwright wrote: »

I think what the poster means that Black tie is traditionally "Evening Wear " for parties when its dark ,

Wedding's normal begin in the day & ones in the spring or summer it'll be bright out till late,

Oh yeah I would associate it with evening wear as well. I suppose I just feel there is no inappropriate clothing when it comes to weddings. If its a relaxed affair with the couple in jeans and t shirt or full on glamour, its all good.

yourdeadwright

Just for context last one i went to in summer was City Hall Dublin & then on to the Shelbourne ,
The venues kind of made it feel appropriate ,

The winter ones i was at fit perfectly but summer you have to careful with how it fits the venue's

Spanish Eyes

Sorry now, but Black Tie weddings appear a bit pretentious in the general scheme of Irish weddings anyway. A bit too formal altogether. Fine if you are part of the demographic that is used to (and can afford) black tie events, e.g. going to the races, a charity ball or whatever, but the thoughts of having to hire/buy formal wear would make me swerve the invite toot sweet. As if "ordinary" weddings weren't hassle and expensive enough for guests. It's a no from me.

Having said that, if the wedding party at the top table for example wish to use black tie clobber that's fine, as long as guests are not expected to do the same.

Jimi H

I was at one. It was great but…. so so expensive. Weddings are already pricey with hotel (possibly), gift for the couple, drinks etc. The one I went to was in one of these very pricey country places with the sprawling grounds. I think it cost the guts of 600 with the suit and everything else. Some of my friends still give out about the bride and this was 6 or 7 years ago- “how can she expect us to dole out this sort of money” etc It’s a lot to ask of guests unless you’re sure they can afford it (made of money).

sprucemoose

Jimi H wrote: »

I think it cost the guts of 600 with the suit and everything else.

easily that amount if you have to factor in accom id say.

while pretty expensive, if it solely involved close friends and family then they might be willing to pay it, but if every neighbour/work colleague etc, is invited then its ridiculous. was selfishly delighted that two colleagues had to trim their wedding parties as i had absolutely zero interest in going due to covid - nice people but not close with either at all and the idea of shelling out big bucks to hang out with their friends/family was galling to be honest

Stepping Stone

I was at one. It was so expensive and the atmosphere was just so…stilted? It was a pure notions thing on the part of the couple, they had it at an expensive hotel far from either family. The whole thing was a bit awkward and dead. The dace floor was empty most of the time and most people were just sitting around at the tables or had fecked off to other parts of the very swanky hotel. It was a 12pm ceremony too, so it was ridiculous. Worst wedding that I’ve been at actually.

amdublin

I think it is fine if you and your group are black tie kind of people. Do you go to many black tie events? Do you and most of your guests have a tux in the wardrobe?

If it is far from black tie you were raised then why bother putting that kind of pressure on people?

JimmyVik

Jimi H wrote: »

I was at one. It was great but…. so so expensive. Weddings are already pricey with hotel (possibly), gift for the couple, drinks etc. The one I went to was in one of these very pricey country places with the sprawling grounds. I think it cost the guts of 600 with the suit and everything else. Some of my friends still give out about the bride and this was 6 or 7 years ago- “how can she expect us to dole out this sort of money” etc It’s a lot to ask of guests unless you’re sure they can afford it (made of money).

Ive seen that a lot.
Every time we have to go to a wedding that adds extra expense on to guests.
And whats funny is the brides always thinks that everyone was delighted with the wedding and the costs. Because when speaking to the bride nobody will speak with the same honesty as when speaking to the rest of their friends.


Its not like you are going to tell the bride that her wedding was horrible because everyone was there skint after the outrageous demands of the bride.

More like "Yes, your wedding was lovely, the best ever in fact.
"Uh, you dont think the tux hire was a bit too far and cost too much"
"No not at all, sure we were all delighted and it wasnt that expensive and it was worth it for your day"
Bride goes off happy and everyone else just spits in their pints.

muckisluck

The only black tie wedding I ever attended saw the men in hired dress suits but none of the women were any different from a normal wedding. I thought it was ridiculous