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How much would becoming sterile limit your dating pool as a CF person?

  • 31-05-2021 7:50pm
    #1
    alexdlinz
    Site Banned Posts: 15 ✭


    I'm in my 20s and thinking of a vasectomy. I know that it's much easier for men to get the snip than for women to get her tubes tied/hysterectomy (in terms of the willingness of doctors).

    But I've heard that it's actually a turn off even for casual hookups with people. To be honest, I would have thought that it would be more desirable to be sterile for short term relationships but many people like both for long term.

    Anyone undergone surgery.


Comments

  • #2
    Locotastic
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 754 ✭✭✭Locotastic


    alexdlinz wrote: »
    I'm in my 20s and thinking of a vasectomy. I know that it's much easier for men to get the snip than for women to get her tubes tied/hysterectomy (in terms of the willingness of doctors).

    But I've heard that it's actually a turn off even for casual hookups with people. To be honest, I would have thought that it would be more desirable to be sterile for short term relationships but many people like both for long term.

    Anyone undergone surgery.

    My OH had it done 10 years ago, very straightforward quick procedure and very little down time afterwards (took it easy the day of the procedure but was back to normal quickly).

    Test sample months later to make sure procedure was successful.

    He was 30 at the time, no questions asked by doctor about family or children etc, got it done privately.

    Much less invasive than female sterilisation, so I appreciated him doing it.

    Not sure of the benefits for casual or short term relationships as I'd imagine you'd still want to be taking care of yourself in that department anyway regardless of vasectomy.

    For long term relationship its great, spontaneous and carefree. I'd recommend it to anyone who is absolutely certain that they won't want children in the future or who have completed their families.

    It isn't anywhere near as easily reversed as it is to get done in the first place.


  • #3
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 15,362 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    For casual hookups I'm not sure why it would even come up in conversation

    How would that conversation even go?

    Either way, its generally not an issue until you are in a relationship and have the "kids" conversation i.e. how many do each of you want if you are interested in having them. In that sense, saying you want to remain CF will have a greater bearing unless you framed it as "I want to be childfree and have had a vasectomy to make sure I don't have any accidents" and even then I'm not sure it would be an issue compared to wanting to be CF if your partner was baby mad


  • #4
    notsoyoungwan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 614 ✭✭✭notsoyoungwan


    I don’t see how it’s relevant to casual book ups, you should still be using condoms.

    If a casual hook up guy told me he’d had a vasectomy and seemed to think that was relevant, I’d be thinking it was something he said to many women and used it to justify going bareback, so I’d assume he was riddled, tbh!


  • #5
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    notsoyoungwan wrote: »
    I don’t see how it’s relevant to casual book ups, you should still be using condoms.

    If a casual hook up guy told me he’d had a vasectomy and seemed to think that was relevant, I’d be thinking it was something he said to many women and used it to justify going bareback, so I’d assume he was riddled, tbh!

    This is nail on head, this is the reason "I had a vasectomy" is not something you say on a casual hook up! It's not the vasectomy that is the issue.


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