Maintenance

bobbie3

#Deleted

Wanderer78

bobbie3 wrote:

Looking for advice. Husband left 2 years ago after 26 yrs marriage. Have 2 almost grown up children. I left my career when they were born to stay home and look after them. He has been supporting us since leaving. Mortgage is now paid Now he wants divorce. I have a small part time job paying very little . Once children are adults am I entitled to any maintenance from him ? Thanks in advance

I think if they're still in full time education, you are, other than that, no, but I could be wrong, I'm sorry to hear about your situation

YellowLead

It’s only the maintenance for the children that is dependent on their ages/education, not the spousal maintenance. If you have been receiving maintenance that was agreed by a court and your circumstances have not changed (eg change in employment/illness or marrying/civil partnership with a new person), then there is no reason for the spousal maintenance to change.

https://www.flac.ie/assets/files/pdf/maintenance2016.pdf

https://www.orpenfranks.ie/maintenance-payments-in-separation-and-divorce/

Ann84

You can apply for spousal maintenance Independant of maintenance for your children. When you both agreed that you would give up paid work outside the home, you sacrificed not only your income at the time, but also your ability to earn - had you been in a paid career/ job over the last 20 something years, your earnings would have increased and you would have years of experience not to mention any qualifications acquired.
You and your ex husband were happy for you to make these sacrifices and limit your ability to independently earn income under the premise that his income would support you both/ all. You are entitled to some of his income even after divorce as far as I can understand from the below (although your situation is one very damn good reason why I’ll never give up my job to be a stay at home parent) - best of luck

https://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/separation_and_divorce/maintenance_orders_and_agreements.html#

Dundalkshelly

What about getting a full time job and looking after yourself?

ted1

Dundalkshelly wrote: »

What about getting a full time job and looking after yourself?

She’ll go to the bottom rung of the ladder. She put her career on hold to look after his kids and the family hone me, so that he could progress in his career.

It’s only right that he pay her a pension for the support and sacrifices she made for him

Stihl waters

ted1 wrote: »

She’ll go to the bottom rung of the ladder. She put her career on hold to look after his kids and the family hone me, so that he could progress in his career.

It’s only right that he pay her a pension for the support and sacrifices she made for him

Is that the case if she gets the family home, firmly on the fence here but if she's left with an asset worth hundreds of thousands would that go some way in mitigating any loss, the other way of looking at it is she had the luxury of watching her kids grow up while he was out working, many important moments missed in their lives which no money or advancement can compensate for

YellowLead

Stihl waters wrote: »

Is that the case if she gets the family home, firmly on the fence here but if she's left with an asset worth hundreds of thousands would that go some way in mitigating any loss, the other way of looking at it is she had the luxury of watching her kids grow up while he was out working, many important moments missed in their lives which no money or advancement can compensate for

It depends. I thought usually once kids grow up that family home is sold and split between both? But if she is getting the house I imagine that will be considered in any court order reflective of what he is required or not required to pay for her upkeep.

RStoneX

Dundalkshelly wrote: »

What about getting a full time job and looking after yourself?

THIS.

Sponges play on the system and the new wives (if they make it that far, most women end up as gf only due to the trauma and financial burden caused by past experiences) suffer in the process.

TheMilkyPirate

Dundalkshelly wrote: »

What about getting a full time job and looking after yourself?

Exactly.

Posts like the OPs are really turning me off ever wanting to get married.

Ann84

Ann84 wrote: »

You can apply for spousal maintenance Independant of maintenance for your children. When you both agreed that you would give up paid work outside the home, you sacrificed not only your income at the time, but also your ability to earn - had you been in a paid career/ job over the last 20 something years, your earnings would have increased and you would have years of experience not to mention any qualifications acquired.
You and your ex husband were happy for you to make these sacrifices and limit your ability to independently earn income under the premise that his income would support you both/ all. You are entitled to some of his income even after divorce as far as I can understand from the below (although your situation is one very damn good reason why I’ll never give up my job to be a stay at home parent) - best of luck

https://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/separation_and_divorce/maintenance_orders_and_agreements.html#

100% THIS.

Stay at home parents are not sponges. As rightly pointed out above, if one half of a couple has given up their career and subsequent earning capacity to raise the family, then this has to be taken into consideration in any settlement.

A transition period has to be expected to allow the former stay at home spouse to retrain to return to the workplace, if appropriate. Awarding spousal maintenance is fair and appropriate in these circumstances. This could last for anything from 2 years to 5 years, or longer.

As for any person who would consider getting involved with the kind of person who'd try to leave their former stay-at-home spouse high and dry financially after 20 years of raising kids, well, all I can say about that is they really need to take careful note of the moral compass of the kind of person they're thinking of getting involved with.