First Date

LegacyUser

I'm in late 20s never been in a relationship and never really been on a date or even one night stand.

I want to start dating and have downloaded the apps and have relatively good success in getting to meeting up in person.

This is where I fall down. I have no idea of the "rules".

On a first date it's going well, are you meant to ask for the kiss or do you just go for it?

Caranica

There are no rules. Some people will kiss on the first date, others won't. Some will go further, to others won't. Do what feels right, there is nothing worse than looking at a date and see they're wondering "is it coming soon, is it tonight".

Goodigal

IMO, if someone asks to kiss me, I find it a bit cringe (non Covid times!) There is something lovely about that feeling of knowing you are about to kiss someone at the end of a date, that you have enjoyed each other's company and there is some attraction. It's natural.
But maybe right now, just hugging someone is more acceptable. You will know if you want to kiss each other, and it may not be on the first date but when it's about to happen, you'll know. Hope you have some luck and some fun and gain some confidence.

YellowLead

I think it’s equally common to wait for second date to kiss, people know at least they fancy each other of second date has been arranged.
But if you feel a vibe and feel like going for it on the first, fire away. I’ve been asked a few times ‘is it okay if I kiss you now?’ rather than always an unsolicited lunge.
There are no rules.

BingCrosbee

Just treat the person with respect, that’s all. And make sure to be complimentary. If you both feel comfortable it will lead on to a second date. Best of luck.

Potatoeman

Not sure how this works now with COVID but you need to send signals. You don’t just go straight in cold. As in you stand close maybe place your hand on their hip when chatting. Then lean closer and talk low and see if she responds before you go in, she’ll pull away if not interested so don’t just lung for it.

ElizaBennett

In my experience it's the easiest thing in the world to know when the time is right - but maybe that's a question of learning to read signs and it doesn't come naturally to everyone.
There are no rules - but there definitely are preferences. Going into a first date, I would be fairly certain there would be no kiss at the end, as I just wouldn't like the idea of kissing a virtual stranger. But then, i'd always arrange a first date for a day time coffee and not an all-nighter at the boozer (probably my age.) This is all pre-covid feedback btw. So i'd plan on up to an hour over coffee and then, all going well, a plan to meet again. I can't imagine that, even if I thought he was really attractive, I'd want to kiss him on first meeting. But definitely second time as i'd have a stronger feeling that it might go somewhere and the whole thing would be a little more relaxed. So maybe take the pressure off yourself by telling yourself there won't be a kiss but you might touch her on the arm as you say goodbye - if you like her obviously - to send a signal of positivity. You might worry less and enjoy it more if you've already decided not to go there.

leggo

I think it depends on the context and type of date, at least for me. I live in the city so it’s much more common there to match with someone and meet up for a casual coffee within a couple days: if you barely know each other and only hang out for a couple hours, it’s weirder to kiss unless the date naturally goes there.

If I know someone already or I’ve been texting a match for a few weeks and we’ve gotten close to the point meeting is just a formality to verify we actually fancy each other, not kissing would be weirder and probably leave both wondering what went wrong. If you both like each other, though, that will all sort itself out in time. But yeah, basically read the room and do what feels natural. If you feel unsure, err on the side of caution.

Truth is, you can get confident enough to bypass all of this uncertainty and live in the moment. So the real trick is trying to un**** the things that make you second guess and question everything and just accepting yourself as a person people will like if you communicate openly.