Cancer patient changing will just before death

retrobate13

Hi there,

Unusual situation.

Someone I was very close to for decades became a Stage 4 cancer patient. They had Stage 4 for approximately 6 years and knew they were going to die. They had a frank conversation with me about what I would like when they passed and they made out a will that included me and the rest of their family (no children - just bothers and sisters). This was about 2 years before their death. This person had been living with a girlfriend who was minding them.

Person dies from cancer and everyone finds out that 2 weeks before death, this person secretly married the girlfriend (I think in hospital) and the next day changed their will with an entirely new solicitor - witnessed by new wife's brother. Person who died was successful businessperson so had always dealt with the same solicitor. I was non-executive director (never took payment) of their business and had lived with this person as a son. Literally everything was left to the new wife.

Is there any case here considering the heavy drugs a dying patient would have been on as they came to the end of their life? They were extremely ill and totally dependent on their minder (now wife). It was a vulnerable situation. The change of solicitor is also a large red flag for me. Probate has just been granted so I probably need to make a move now if I'm going to.

Suggestions welcome.

is_that_so

You could do some cursory investigation into it but unless you're prepared for the nastiness of all of this I'd let it go and accept the will, especially as they are no kids. This kind of thing can end up as a free for all those with slighted expectations, gut the estate and leave bad blood for a very long time.

L1011

The marriage will have effectively invalidated the old will anyway

retrobate13

L1011 wrote: »

The marriage will have effectively invalidated the old will anyway

I am aware of this. But if you're not in a fit state to write a will, you wouldn't be in a fit state to marry. I appreciate that's probably an uphill battle to invalidate both though.

As for bad blood, I've nothing to lose in that sense. However if it's hopeless, I will just move on.

0lddog

retrobate13 wrote: »

.... I will just move on.

Thats the very best thing you could do in the situation

Purple Mountain

You say the wife was his carer.
Why wouldn't she be entitled to anything so?

retrobate13

retrobate13 wrote: »

I am aware of this. But if you're not in a fit state to write a will, you wouldn't be in a fit state to marry. I appreciate that's probably an uphill battle to invalidate both though.

As for bad blood, I've nothing to lose in that sense. However if it's hopeless, I will just move on.

If he wasn't in a fit state to marry, the registrar or whoever performed the marriage would not have gone ahead.
She was his girlfriend and carer, the last thing he did was make her his wife, I'm sure you're very put out not to get your inheritance, but it was clearly his wish.
I would move on if I was you.

jimmycrackcorm

L1011 wrote: »

The marriage will have effectively invalidated the old will anyway

My OH was a witness to a new will for a dying patient in the hospital. Afterwards, the will was challenged and the beneficiary needed an affidavit from the OH about signing it. However, there were some pencilled in changes in the will that the OH was unhappy about that they doubted were there at the time of signing. The OH came under intense pressure from the beneficiaries solicitor to sign an affidavit until I wrote to them to say I'd report them to the law society unless they desisted from harassment after being told no.

Was the marriage legal - i.e. was there a registrar present? It all sounds dubious as to both sign a will and agree to marriage requires being of sound mind. I'm open to correction but that's very questionable when a person is under the types of heavy medication used in the last two weeks of cancer. I have seen first hand what this is like.

It's worth consulting worth a solicitor on this.

retrobate13

Purple Mountain wrote: »

You say the wife was his carer.
Why wouldn't she be entitled to anything so?

Did I say she shouldn't be entitled to anything?

He offered me his house in that discussion and I declined. I only asked for particular items that were of sentimental value (they also have monetary value but fairly peanuts compared to his wealth). I am not asking this because I am interested in money. Those items are of sentimental significance to my childhood with him.

As regards his carer/ wife, the reason I am skeptical is because he told me 2 years before dying that he had made a bad decision bringing her to live with him and that he was only with her because of his dire cancer situation. Maybe he was just saying that. I did offer to help him but he didn't take me up on it.

If he wanted to marry, that's fine. I will accept that. Just everyone was shocked to read what had happened in the death notice. And changing solicitor especially seem highly unusual. I don't know if anyone has seen someone on Stage 4 cancer medication at the end but I imagine it's heavy.

KevRossi

Can you not just ask her for the sentimental items? Would she not give them to you?

batman75

Ask her for the items of sentimental value. If she says no then simply walk away. As others have said if he wasn't in a state to be married the ceremony would not have been allowed to go ahead. Once he marries any will which doesn't include his now wife is invalid by law.

retrobate13

KevRossi wrote: »

Can you not just ask her for the sentimental items? Would she not give them to you?

She told me that he had instructed her to give me some things. When I went to get those things, she gave me about 20 (basically valueless but sentimental) of the 100 items or so I was meant to receive. When I asked for the rest, she said he hadn't been specific enough with her and it was a shame he hadn't put it in writing. That line sank my heart. I showed her photos of the items because he had had me catalogue them in case family might take them and they would go missing after his death. Despite getting a few million, she held onto the rest (approx. value of €60k but more sentimental value than anything). I am consoled to have received the 20 items - it's something at least.

There are others who have been excluded because of what occurred. In his original will, he had left his car to his driver, who worked for him for 35 odd years (driver thankfully doesn't know this) as a gesture of appreciation. I was sorry to see him receive nothing.

Thanks for the advice from everyone. I might try to see who married them to ask what shape he was in but it seems like I'll just have to accept what happened.

grassylawn

The burden of care must have been substantial. It sounds like other people weren't around too much near the end.

Ckendrick

It’s pointless trying to meet the registrar.
The registrar would have refused to marry them if he/she wasn’t satisfied that they both were of sound mind.
I know it’s very disappointing but you’ll have to adopt the “whats meant for you won’t pass you by” position.
Keep your dignity, honour his memory, let it go.

retrobate13

grassylawn wrote: »

The burden of care must have been substantial. It sounds like other people weren't around too much near the end.

No doubt it must have been a tough full-time job. Others were there for him but it was complicated. He cheated on his partner of 25 years with this person he ended up marrying. He pretty much shut everyone out when he got with her, maybe with embarrassment. There were addiction issues too which he didn't want exposed to the rest of his family. A sad way to finish up, I guess.

Thanks to all - helpful advice.

grassylawn

If he had cancer in his brain that could cause changes in his personality.

Peregrinus

grassylawn wrote: »

If he had cancer in his brain that could cause changes in his personality.

But personality changes are not the same thing as a loss of testamentary capacity. His personality might have changed quite radically without in any way affecting his ability to understand the nature of a will, and the nature of his relationships with, and social, moral and legal obligations to, other people.

So a personality change might cast some light on why he had apparently changed his mind, but it wouldn't do anything to invalidate the decisions he made or the acts he did after changing his mind.

ohnonotgmail

Peregrinus wrote: »

But personality changes are not the same thing as a loss of testamentary capacity. His personality might have changed quite radically without in any way affecting his ability to understand the nature of a will, and the nature of his relationships with, and social, moral and legal obligations to, other people.

So a personality change might cast some light on why he had apparently changed his mind, but it wouldn't do anything to invalidate the decisions he made or the acts he did after changing his mind.

added to this the OP would have to prove they were not of sound mind when they got married. almost impossible to prove at this stage.

Lmkrnr

She played a good game and got her reward. Well that's how cynical me would see it. Maybe they were really close at the end and she used that to manipulate him somewhat. Its done now though. I hope you resolve it and get closure because it will drive you mad otherwise.

JoChervil

I would check just for the peace of mind all documents, like a marriage licence.

Also I would talk with his solicitor, what is his take on it. Just to exclude any wrong doing. I would hate, if a close to me person was manipulated in his vulnerable state. So I would prefer to be sure that everything is OK.

If he broke his previous marriage for her, so she must have been important to him. But on the other hand, why he didn't marry her earlier?

But if these items you were to get were in his previous will, so you can provide her with this information.

Lmkrnr

Lmkrnr wrote: »

She played a good game and got her reward. Well that's how cynical me would see it. Maybe they were really close at the end and she used that to manipulate him somewhat. Its done now though. I hope you resolve it and get closure because it will drive you mad otherwise.

Or maybe she loved him and looked after him for years?
Maybe he felt he wanted to look after her after all she did for him?

grassylawn

JoChervil wrote: »

I would check just for the peace of mind all documents, like a marriage licence.

Also I would talk with his solicitor, what is his take on it. Just to exclude any wrong doing. I would hate, if a close to me person was manipulated in his vulnerable state. So I would prefer to be sure that everything is OK.

If he broke his previous marriage for her, so she must have been important to him. But on the other hand, why he didn't marry her earlier?

But if these items you were to get were in his previous will, so you can provide her with this information.

Marriage would have given her more rights, not just to his estate but also to have access to him and doctors and involvement in decision making for his care were he to be incapacitated.

A simpler interpretation is that she was the only one around and did a huge amount to care for him. All speculation one way or another in any case.

endofrainbow

could you perhaps approach his wife and mention that you would like the things that were of sentimental value to you ?

Calahonda52

endofrainbow wrote: »

could you perhaps approach his wife and mention that you would like the things that were of sentimental value to you ?

covered earlier by the OP

BLUEYK

OP, was he married to his partner of 25yrs? His 2nd marriage may be invalid if that was not dissolved properly by the courts.

Explosive_Cornflake

Had his divorce gone through? I think that's about the only thing that might help at this stage.

ohnonotgmail

BLUEYK wrote: »

OP, was his 1st marriage dissolved by the courts? If not his 2nd marriage may be invalid.

Explosive_Cornflake wrote: »

Had his divorce gone through? I think that's about the only thing that might help at this stage.

what first marriage are you referring to? there is no mention of a previous marriage.

BLUEYK

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

what first marriage are you referring to? there is no mention of a previous marriage.

Correct, OP didn't mention a previous marriage just partner, a different poster referred to it, I'll edit my original post

retrobate13

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

what first marriage are you referring to? there is no mention of a previous marriage.

That's correct. There was no first marriage - just a partner of 25 years. That's why the secret marriage was such a surprise to his family and friends. He had been pretty committed to not marrying. I suppose with death in front of you, it's possible to have a serious change of heart.

Good point about the change in personality not making a difference (I do think the opiate addiction caused a big change - not cancer) to the case. It would simply be about whether he was of sound mind.

I'm really in two minds as to what happened. It could simply be a case that he loved her and wanted her to have everything. There were just strange things before. When I visited him in hospital, he was clearly anxious about the time so that I wouldn't meet this person. He kept checking his watch and phone towards the end of the meetings. When he brought me out to the house to stay and discuss his will, it was only when she had gone on holiday out of the country that he felt comfortable to do so. He said he had made a big mistake and wanted her and her adult son out of his house. I offered to help if he needed but he said to leave it to him. He obviously never did anything about it.

Some time has passed. I think I'll take the advice here and ask one more time about the sentimental items. It will be okay if I don't get them. They would just be a nice way to remember the better times. But I won't get caught up if it doesn't happen.

Dublin Lad2021

Very sorry for your loss OP

retrobate13

Dublin Lad2021 wrote: »

Very sorry for your loss OP

Thanks - it means a lot even on an anonymous forum. There was a lot of hurt the way it unfolded. He treated some people terribly during his life but I still miss him.