Things you shouldn't know, but do

ablelocks

summer 2019, i met a friend of mine at a work event in another city and we went out for pints, lots of pints. I left the pub earlier than he did and went back to hotel. He arrived about an hour later, but as he came in the lobby door, I was on the landing at the top of the stairs so saw that he was with a woman he had met earlier in the pub. They didn't see me, but I saw them. I didn't say anything and wouldn't - his business what he gets up to but i was surprised.

Recliner

ablelocks wrote: »

summer 2019, i met a friend of mine at a work event in another city and we went out for pints, lots of pints. I left the pub earlier than he did and went back to hotel. He arrived about an hour later, but as he came in the lobby door, I was on the landing at the top of the stairs so saw that he was with a woman he had met earlier in the pub. They didn't see me, but I saw them. I didn't say anything and wouldn't - his business what he gets up to but i was surprised.

Why were you surprised?

con747

And........

Archeron

If you ever have a toilet blocked by a massive poo the size of a baby cow, four or five bin bags over an arm gives enough protection so you can break it up without touching it. Still rotten though.
That's something I shouldn't know but do.

bear1

ablelocks wrote: »

summer 2019, i met a friend of mine at a work event in another city and we went out for pints, lots of pints. I left the pub earlier than he did and went back to hotel. He arrived about an hour later, but as he came in the lobby door, I was on the landing at the top of the stairs so saw that he was with a woman he had met earlier in the pub. They didn't see me, but I saw them. I didn't say anything and wouldn't - his business what he gets up to but i was surprised.

Dafuq?

Gregor Samsa

I once saw a neighbour of mine in the supermarket. I could see low-fat milk, fruit, fresh veg and brown bread in their basket, but I spotted them take a packet of Kimberly from the biscuit shelf and pop them in too. I didn't say anything and wouldn't - his business what he gets up to but i was surprised - always had him pegged as more of a Mikado man, but it just shows you never can tell. Although knowing this now, if he ever did invite me in for tea, I'd politely make my excuses.

Church on Tuesday

ablelocks wrote: »

summer 2019, i met a friend of mine at a work event in another city and we went out for pints, lots of pints. I left the pub earlier than he did and went back to hotel. He arrived about an hour later, but as he came in the lobby door, I was on the landing at the top of the stairs so saw that he was with a woman he had met earlier in the pub. They didn't see me, but I saw them. I didn't say anything and wouldn't - his business what he gets up to but i was surprised.

biko

CIA killed JFK.

Gamer Bhoy 89

I know how much wood a woodchuck can chuck.

some random drunk

ablelocks wrote: »

summer 2019, i met a friend of mine at a work event in another city and we went out for pints, lots of pints. I left the pub earlier than he did and went back to hotel. He arrived about an hour later, but as he came in the lobby door, I was on the landing at the top of the stairs so saw that he was with a woman he had met earlier in the pub. They didn't see me, but I saw them. I didn't say anything and wouldn't - his business what he gets up to but i was surprised.

Is there some interesting detail to this that perhaps you've left out? Like he'd only gotten married a few weeks before? Or maybe the woman he brought back from the pub was actually his boss? Or she was his cousin? Or she was transgender? A transgender cousin? Something even a little bit scandalous?? Anything at all??!

corner of hells

some random drunk wrote: »

Is there some interesting detail to this that perhaps you've left out? Like he'd only gotten married a few weeks before? Or maybe the woman he brought back from the pub was actually his boss? Or she was his cousin? Or she was transgender? A transgender cousin? Something even a little bit scandalous?? Anything at all??!

I think it might've been a dream.He may be still in the dream , we all might be in it too.

Potential-Monke

Gamer Bhoy 89 wrote: »

I know how much wood a woodchuck can chuck.

I've always wondered the answer to that. Care to share?

I know that placing 3 individual squares of bog roll onto the back of the toilet bowl saves you some cleaning about 80% of the time. Has to be individual squares, if they're connected it'll just fall off with the first contact.

Gamer Bhoy 89

The answer is......

17

Potential-Monke

Gamer Bhoy 89 wrote: »

The answer is......

17

I fkin knew it!

trashcan

I know the words to the Home and Away theme tune. I win !

ohnonotgmail

trashcan wrote: »

I know the words to the Home and Away theme tune. I win !

come back to us when you know the words to 4'33" by john cage.

brevity

Gregor Samsa wrote: »

I once saw a neighbour of mine in the supermarket. I could see low-fat milk, fruit, fresh veg and brown bread in their basket, but I spotted them take a packet of Kimberly from the biscuit shelf and pop them in too. I didn't say anything and wouldn't - his business what he gets up to but i was surprised - always had him pegged as more of a Mikado man, but it just shows you never can tell. Although knowing this now, if he ever did invite me in for tea, I'd politely make my excuses.

To complete the set just bring some Coconut Creams.

Balance restored

purplefields

some random drunk wrote: »

Is there some interesting detail to this that perhaps you've left out? Like he'd only gotten married a few weeks before? Or maybe the woman he brought back from the pub was actually his boss? Or she was his cousin? Or she was transgender? A transgender cousin? Something even a little bit scandalous?? Anything at all??!

...and if there isn't anything at all, how about making something up?

jaxxx

I know the way.

TallGlass2

I know how they get the fig in figrolls

Banjaxed82

About 10 years ago, while my friend was plastered (paralytic) in a pub, his then girlfriend of 3 years nipped off to the toilet. He told me that while he "liked" his girlfriend, "she definitely isn't the one", he had no real feelings towards her and saw no future together. They're now married with 3 kids.

I don't see them often, but that night in town just runs through my head when ever I do. Sorry, I don't think your husband actually loves you.

The optimist in me hopes he grew to love her. But people are so mediocre, the realist in me suspects otherwise.

I'm sure he doesn't remember telling me given how pissed he was. It's always stuck with me. He was so cold and assured in how he felt, yet here he is. I'm sure he's not the only one. A story as old as time.

Amirani

Banjaxed82 wrote: »

About 10 years ago, while my friend was plastered (paralytic) in a pub, his then girlfriend of 3 years nipped off to the toilet. He told me that while he "liked" his girlfriend, "she definitely isn't the one", he had no real feelings towards her and saw no future together. They're now married with 3 kids.

I don't see them often, but that night in town just runs through my head when ever I do. Sorry, I don't think your husband actually loves you.

The optimist in me hopes he grew to love her. But people are so mediocre, the realist in me suspects otherwise.

I'm sure he doesn't remember telling me given how pissed he was. It's always stuck with me. He was so cold and assured in how he felt, yet here he is. I'm sure he's not the only one. A story as old as time.

I'd a very similar experience with an acquaintance (sort of a friend of a friend) in London a couple of years ago. Was at the end of a house party and chats got a bit deep between us (he wasn't drunk, but had taken some stuff). He ended up telling me that the girl he was with since college definitely wasn't the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, but he didn't know how to end it without killing their friendship.

Anyway, he gets home from this house party about 7am and his missus informs him that she's pregnant! I was full sure he was making it up initially, but it was true. Things seem to have worked out okay, he seems happily a dad now and no issues that I've heard of.

Cee-Jay-Cee

ablelocks wrote: »

summer 2019, i met a friend of mine at a work event in another city and we went out for pints, lots of pints. I left the pub earlier than he did and went back to hotel. He arrived about an hour later, but as he came in the lobby door, I was on the landing at the top of the stairs so saw that he was with a woman he had met earlier in the pub. They didn't see me, but I saw them. I didn't say anything and wouldn't - his business what he gets up to but i was surprised.

I definitely think a mod should delete this post but leave the thread as it’s the most disappointing thread ever as the OP’s story doesn’t even remotely reflect the title of the thread so therefore should be removed for being irrelevant.

con747

I shouldn't know this thread exists but I posted on it earlier.

Mad_maxx

Amirani wrote: »

I'd a very similar experience with an acquaintance (sort of a friend of a friend) in London a couple of years ago. Was at the end of a house party and chats got a bit deep between us (he wasn't drunk, but had taken some stuff). He ended up telling me that the girl he was with since college definitely wasn't the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, but he didn't know how to end it without killing their friendship.

Anyway, he gets home from this house party about 7am and his missus informs him that she's pregnant! I was full sure he was making it up initially, but it was true. Things seem to have worked out okay, he seems happily a dad now and no issues that I've heard of.

It's not that surprising, many if not most people settle to some degree, most of us aren't enough of a catch to land the kind of woman we would ideally want

Archeron

brevity wrote: »

To complete the set just bring some Coconut Creams.

Balance restored

I know the theme tune to the old telly ad and thanks to your post, I will be singing it in my head for the next week.

When I read the OP, I saw Kimberly, then mikado, and immediately my brain closed off the section where that ad was stored. Then I saw coconut creams in your post and it all flooded out.

Fuzzy biscuit earworm.

Westernyelp

ohnonotgmail wrote:

come back to us when you know the words to 4'33" by john cage.

I don't know the words but I can play the music perfectly on any instrument you care to name

fortwilliam

The band "The Clash" did not know if they should "Stay, or if they should instead Go"

I do know...

Because, if they stay "There will be trouble"
However..
If they go "It will be double"

Assuming the aim is to suffer the least amount of "Trouble" they should clearly STAY!

Joe Strummer.. you are welcome.

A-well-a ev'rybody's heard about the bird
B-b-b-bird, b-birdd's a word
A-well, a bird, bird, bird, bird is a word
A-well, a bird, bird, bird, well-a bird is a word
A-well, a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's a word
A-well, a bird, bird, bird, well-a bird is a word
A-well, a bird, bird, b-bird is a word
A-well, a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's a word
A-well, a bird, bird, bird, well-a bird is a word
A-well, a bird, bird, b-bird's a word
A-well-a don't you know about the bird?
Well, everybody knows that the bird is a word

A-well-a-bird, bird, b-bird's a word, a-well-a

A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird
Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's a word
A-well, a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's a word
A-well, a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's a word
A-well, a bird, bird, b-bird's a word
A-well, a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's a word
A-well, a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's a word
A-well, a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's a word
A-well, a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's a word
A-well-a don't you know about the bird?
Well, everybody's talking about the bird!

A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, surfing bird, brrrrrrrrpagh!
Aaah, bap-a-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pap

Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa
Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa
Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa
Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa
Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa
Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa
Ma-ma-ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa
Ma-ma-ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa
Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa
Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa
Ma-ma-mow, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa
Ma-ma-mow, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa
Ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-ma-mow
Ma-ma-ma-ma, ma-ma-mow
Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa
Ma-ma-mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow

A-well-a don't you know about the bird?
Well, everybody knows that the bird is a word

A-well, a bird, bird, b-bird's a word
A-well-a mow, mow, pa-pa, ma-ma-mow, pa-pa
Ma-ma-mow, ma-ma, mow, pa-pa
Ma-ma-mow, ma-ma, mow, pa-pa
Ma-ma-mow, ma-ma, mow, pa-pa

NickNickleby

At 65+ I shouldn't know that that song ^^^^^^ is a running joke on Family Guy

Hyperbollix

As a very very very very very very very very very very very dark blue belt in Ninjitsu, aka "The Way of the Ninja" - I am an expert in the application of pressure to key points of the human anatomy which can render an opponent unconscious, or in very extreme and rare circumstances, dead.

Capt'n Midnight

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

come back to us when you know the words to 4'33" by john cage.

Not going near that one after the copyright case.