Legal Separation - Money

LegacyUser

Hi Guys,
So many conflicting info and details online so hoping you can offer some advice.

Married 2 1/2 years
18 month old child
Renting a house
Approx 20K in savings
I've been paying all rent / bills / food and have not asked for any money towards these for around 4 years, before that we would have been 50/50 with rent and bills.

We are talking about legal separation ( Neither of us has done anything wrong, just not in love / friends anymore ) and obviously we both want wants best for our child so things are amicable at the moment.
I will need to move and at the moment the average rent in the city where I work is 800 Per month for a ROOM.

She was working up until 2 years ago and with maternity / covid, has not returned to work ,but is in receipt of a weekly payment of 188

Obviously I know i will pay child maintenance and we have already agreed that there will be no issues with visitation etc ( but taking for overnight stays is not on the cards which i understand until my living arrangement has been sorted ) but she has mentioned that i need to pay the rent and bills in this rented house also?

I'm not really making Crazy money by any means so if I was paying rent and bills in the current house, and having to pay rent alone in a new place for myself, I'd have about 400 euro's left ( that would be to pay my bills / car tax / insurance etc )

How is spousal support judged?
I obviously want to help out in whatever way I can but I dont really want to end up back in the Shared Renting scenario and with zero money

Xterminator

you mentioned spousal support but not child maintenance.the two are very different things. you didn't say id the child custody would be 50% each, and no child maintenance paid, but expenses shared, or mostly with mum, or mostly with dad.

this has great bearing on how much you need to pay, eg there will be childcare expenses if you expect your wife to go back to work. if you expect her to care for child fulltime, then you have to look at that as a cost to her than she cannot go out make earn a full time wage! plus your family will have to pay 2 'rents' instead of one. that comes from the family pot, whether you like it or not. your child needs to have a roof over their head, food clothing and access to medical care etc.

you (or her) moving out will have financial implications. Its not a case of making your own finances work, and handing over what's left over, and letting mum and baby suffer the shortfalls. Its a case of finding a way to make it work.

Some people i know have moved back in with mum and dad, not because they wanted to, but because of the costs. Not everyone has family circumstances like that but it is a consideration! others stay living in the same house while separated. Far from ideal for all, but if thats the only viable financial option for now, then perhaps it needs to be considered.

you seem to be considering what you cant do, not what you can do to make it work.

YellowLead

Hi OP I can’t give specific advise of course - but it all hangs on the needs of your child and ex and your ability to meet that. Your wife is financially dependent on you at the moment so that will mean you have to continue to provide for her in addition to any assets being split. Unfortunately it’s very tough for men whose wives don’t work as they have to maintain two houses but that’s how it goes.

It’s great that you are both in agreement your kids comes first and hopefully you can arrange good access and contact and that rows over money don’t wreck that joint approach.
Perhaps your wife will get a job, which would help.

Moonbeam

You need to seek legal advice on this .
You will need to pay child maintenance and paying half the cost of childcare would be decent too.
Spousal maintenance can be a mine field especially if she is able to work and if she is on JSB she should be actively job seeking.