What to do about bad dental hygiene.

LegacyUser

I am with my boyfriend a number of years. I noticed he stopped brushing his teeth before going to bed. I hate this habit from him. I asked him to brush his teeth but he won't keep on top of it regularly and he continues to go to bed without brushing his teeth. His gums bleed easily now. I don't have great teeth due to some bad diet choices in my youth but I changed a lot about that and I am looking after my teeth. I floss, brush twice a day, attend regular dental appointments and I cut out sugar and smoking. My dentist is reasonably pleased with my progress. I am having nightmares about my teeth now. I am worried about being exposed to bad oral dental bacteria from my boyfriend.

Porklife

Ilovelookingaftermyteeth wrote: »

I am with my boyfriend a number of years. I noticed he stopped brushing his teeth before going to bed. I hate this habit from him. I asked him to brush his teeth but he won't keep on top of it regularly and he continues to go to bed without brushing his teeth. His gums bleed easily now. I don't have great teeth due to some bad diet choices in my youth but I changed a lot about that and I am looking after my teeth. I floss, brush twice a day, attend regular dental appointments and I cut out sugar and smoking. My dentist is reasonably pleased with my progress. I am having nightmares about my teeth now. I am worried about being exposed to bad oral dental bacteria from my boyfriend.

Eewwww..I can't believe people do this! My ex had very poor dental hygiene and always had food between his teeth. It was vile and his breath stank. His brother used to say..if you're hungry just ask x, he has a chicken curry in his teeth! I broke up with him as I found him so repulsive.

Can you speak to him about it? To me its a deal breaker. If someone neglects something as important as dental hygiene, what else is he neglecting?

Jenneke87

As a person who sometimes can't be bothered to brush before I go to bed, but also has no partner to bother with my morning breath, I can kind of understand him. I tend not to do it when I'm really tired or when my depression is worse than normal and everything just feels like too much. However, I paid a price for it (bleeding gums, cavities and a hefty dental bill) and I know now I really need to stay on top of it.

Bad hygiene is either laziness or a sign of bad/worsening mental health and you need to talk to him about it. If I had a partner and he told me this I'd be mortified and be brushing my teeth every hour of the day to prevent that kind of conversation again. It's difficult but you need to sit him down for this one!

TheadoreT

Id find that a bit off-putting, don't think passing bacteria should be a worry but kinda points to a lazy attitude which would probably spill over to other areas.

Does he have an electric toothbrush? Less effort and far better for gum health than a normal brush

odyssey06

Could he be skipping brushing because it is painful?
Maybe gum before bed and mouthwash would be easier for him.

Otherwise as others have mentioned could be sign of deeper issue.

Emptur.

Jenneke87 wrote: »

As a person who sometimes can't be bothered to brush before I go to bed, but also has no partner to bother with my morning breath, I can kind of understand him. I tend not to do it when I'm really tired or when my depression is worse than normal and everything just feels like too much. However, I paid a price for it (bleeding gums, cavities and a hefty dental bill) and I know now I really need to stay on top of it.

Bad hygiene is either laziness or a sign of bad/worsening mental health and you need to talk to him about it. If I had a partner and he told me this I'd be mortified and be brushing my teeth every hour of the day to prevent that kind of conversation again. It's difficult but you need to sit him down for this one!

Addiction as well

Causes neglect of hygiene

heretothere

I'd be asking him again. It would really put me off. As others have said it could be deeper, giving up on caring. Or it could be complete laziness!

PetitPois89

That would be a dealbreaker for me. I gag at the thoughts of kissing somebody with poor dental hygiene. As a few others have suggested, you need a frank and honest discussion with him

Zebrag

Hi OP

I think dental hygiene is the second perception of impression you can get from someone, appearance being the first (no I don't mean tattooed to the eyeballs and immediately think thug, which I also don't assume, I mean untidy and unkempt along with bad dental hygiene) That being said, waking up with morning breath doesn't always automatically assume a person doesn't brush their teeth before bed either. I brush morning and night and I still manage to wake up with a mouth feeling like a Sahara desert and sometimes a weird taste and I presume a smell.

You've posted that your boyfriend doesn't brush his teeth before he goes to bed but does it in the mornings? That doesn't sound like an overally bad dental hygiene care but I would be more concerned if he didn't brush his teeth at all and constantly had a smelly breath. Have you spoken to him and told him that his breath doesn't smell exactly refreshing in the mornings and could be due to the fact that he hasn't brushed his teeth the night before?

You could say its down to laziness and my partner would be a little bit like that. He brushes first thing when he wakes up, has his coffee and breakfast and brushes before he leaves the door so I don't take it too personally or revolting when he doesn't brush before bed but I've no issues whatever telling him his breath smells if there was a point I needed too.

Maybe even saying something like "do you ever get that weird taste in your mouth at the end of the day and you need to brush your teeth?" It might be a slight hint if you're not feeling comfortable enough to be out straight but you're better off just getting to the point or else it'll just annoy you then more and he'll end up stop kissing you altogether!

Lesalare

I dated a man for 1.5 years and never saw his teeth. He never smiled.

I think it was because he didn't have great teeth, I got the odd glimpse from time to time.. It didn't bother me much (normally it would massively but with him it just didn't, I saw past it) He did brush every morning and eve but it was a turn off he never smiled. When I met him first he had bad breath but I mentioned it in passing. And he never let it happen again which I respected.

If I was in your situ I'd just tell him you need to discuss it. It's not normal for people to not brush their teeth - disclaimer I am aware depression and mental health issues are a factor in people becoming despondent etc. - but he's in a relationship with you and he needs to be able to keep basic hygiene issues in order.

I personally don't think you shouldn't be too worried about bring up a convo with a person who you know blatantly doesn't brush his teeth before bed. Different if he was brushing all the time and still had bad breath. That's a more delicate situ as at least they are being conscientious about it.

It's akin to saying 'I'm dating a guy for a few years and he's stopped showering/washing' See how long anyone would put up with that.

Kurn

Does he brush in the morning?

If he does, maybe he could be persuaded to do an extra brush after his last meal - supper/dinner - or even lunchtime?

That will be at least an extra brush a day!

At night some people get comfy and feel fresh breath "wakes them up" or something physiological like that... (not me I paid a fortune to have them fixed last year)