Lockdown V Relationship

2lazytogetup

anecdotally, anyone able to guess what percentage of relationships are seriously strained because of the lockdown? i appreciate that there must be something underlying that lockdown has brought out. but im wonderin if lockdown never happend, people might have been sufficently content to not rock the boat, or let sleeping dogs lie and stay together.

i dont want to open a new thread as the title 'relationship issues during lockdown' applies to relationship problems im having. im wondering if i can persuade my partner to wait till things get back to normal and we might have a clearer head, rather than making a rash decision. And then look back in years to come and think we werent thinking right due to mental health challenges brought on by the lockdown. but i expect once a couple separate, no longer live together, id say they never get back together.

Big Bag of Chips

2lazytogetup, I have moved your post to your own thread.

Loveinapril

To be honest, the phrases you are using about not rocking the boat or letting sleeping dogs lie are not about general issues, it seems to be about something pretty specific. I imagine most relationships have experienced challenges the past year down to the lockdown, lack of childcare, working from home, lack of external hobbies/ supports but being at home together can also hold a magnifying glass to issues that were already present.

2lazytogetup

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

2lazytogetup, I have moved your post to your own thread.

great, thank you.

YellowLead

I think there are a lot of things that will test a relationship - somebody losing their job, issues with children, mental health etc etc.

Lockdown is a huge challenge and if a couple can’t survive these testing times then it could be likely you wouldn’t survive other challenges further down the road.

I guess it depends on what the issue is - if it’s just general a bit fed up with each other than a couple will be grand, but if they are really hating the sight of the other then it doesn’t bode well....

leggo

Honestly OP, it sounds a bit like you’re bargaining here. If you and your partner break up and both realise it was due to lockdown, you’ll end up back together. If you break up and don’t, it’s because you weren’t right for each other.

I’m not saying to break up, mind, you haven’t given enough info for us to be able to make any kind of judgement call ourselves. I’m just saying that the reasoning you’ve given for not breaking up doesn’t really hold if all other signs point to that being the best move for both of you individually.

2lazytogetup

Thanks, I appreciate the advice

Dial Hard

Forgive me if I've missed something here, OP, but what's your specific issue that you're looking for advice on? Or is it just general relationship ennui?

2lazytogetup

Dial Hard wrote: »

Forgive me if I've missed something here, OP, but what's your specific issue that you're looking for advice on? Or is it just general relationship ennui?

somewhere in between. not one specific relationship issue. but multiple issues that annoy each other. pre covid times these were often solved with a nice date in a restaurant, spending quality time. now these relationship annoyances dont get resolved because both partners are less likely to be in good form.ive read from people like stephen fry that they are feeling quite down because of the lockdown.

i was also asking about what percentages of couples ancedotally have been wrecked because of covid. 5 or 10% perhaps? the reason i ask this is because i wouldnt feel our relationship is to blame if others are having the same challenges. alternatively if nobody else is having any relationship issues becaue of covid, then i know i cant blame covid.