Living Funeral..

sporina

What are people's thoughts on a Living Funeral/Pre Funeral?

What.Now

Like a Good Bye party

Del2005

Funerals are bad enough why would you want to do it twice? Or do they skip the funeral after the person dies and just stick them in the ground/cremate them?

The chan chan man

What’s the point in that?

What.Now

The chan chan man wrote: »

What’s the point in that?

So you get to go to a good party.

The chan chan man

What.Now wrote: »

So you get to go to a good party.

Plenty of other reasons for a party. I don’t need to fake a death

Itssoeasy

Not to be insensitive but why would you have a living funeral ? Funerals in normal times were ****, and in during Covid I have personal experience of a funeral and they are zero craic mainly due to restrictions. 25 people isn’t a lot.

JustAThought

OP - do you mean a session or are you planning on climbing in the coffin or having the whole ceremony complete with prayers and psalms?

Why don’t you just announce your death on FB? You’ll get to see all the comments and likes and that will give you the rosy glow you seem to be seeking.

J Mysterio

Depends on circumstance, but general feeling is that it's a terrible idea.

Often a funeral is more for the bereaved then it is for the deceased. An opportunity to go through the rituals, grieve and have a bit of 'closure'.

Never heard of a 'living funeral', but just sounds inappropriate, and a little wrong.

Who is the 'living funeral' intended to actually benefit? An unwell person, or their loved ones, and who has actually proposed this?

Stihl waters

A relation of mine did it, a great booze was had by all, he had a couple of great days singing and drinking with friends and family, no harm in it if it makes them happy

Seems a bit overly 'attention-seekery' or something to me. 'Everyone tell me how great I am, I want to see how sad everyone will be when I'm gone'. I don't like the idea at all, and if it ever caught on would simply serve to dilute any real meaning behind actual funerals.

Surely you could just have a birthday party?

poisonated

It reminds me of the episode of friends where Ross pretends he’s dead and has people over to his apartment to mourn him.

sporina

It was when I was listening to a podcast with Mitch Albom - the author of "Tuesdays with Morrie" that I learnt of a "living funeral"..

Morrie was an former professor of Mictch's.. now in a nursing home, in the final stages of ALS disease.. Mitch use to visit him every Tuesday, and in a manner of speaking - he resumed his education with Morrie: lessons in how to live..

Before Morrie died, he had a "living funeral".. for him it was a chance to say some final words to his nearest and dearest.. tell them what they meant to him through out his life etc..

The podcast I was listening to was about bereavement.. about how death is a part of life; how to go in peace by wrapping up loose ends... this is of benefit the dying as well as the loved ones being left behind; to have had their final goodbyes.. thus easing their grieving process..

Personally, I think its a v good idea (for those who know their end is coming soon).. to go without unresolved issues with loved ones, and to help your loved ones grieve when you are gone.. but it were me, i would choose v carefully who I would invite.. those who would be comfortable with it and within that, just family and v close friends...

@KKV - I guess it would be a "deathday" rather than a "birthday".. but I think the term "living funeral" or "pre funeral" sound less morbid

antix80

The only time someone should consider a living funeral is if they're terminally ill and have bad days ahead and want a goodbye.
Other than that, an 80th birthday should tide you over to a 90th and will leave ppl with good memories if you croak in the meantime

sporina

antix80 wrote: »

The only time someone should consider a living funeral is if they're terminally ill and have bad days ahead and want a goodbye.
Other than that, an 80th birthday should tide you over to a 90th and will leave ppl with good memories if you croak in the meantime

thats more or less what i said in my post

Graces7

sporina wrote: »

thats more or less what i said in my post

There was a programme way back when a lady who was dying did that. A celebration of her life and a chance to say goodbye.

and a film when they celebrated Christmas early with someone who would not live until then.

It was a little strange to me as I was much younger then, but I think differently now. So often when folk die we have unresolved matters or have not been able to say thank you and just LOVE them. Show your affection in a "permitted" setting

Being old and ill now I am thinking about these things; thank you for reminding me.

sporina

Graces7 wrote: »

There was a programme way back when a lady who was dying did that. A celebration of her life and a chance to say goodbye.

and a film when they celebrated Christmas early with someone who would not live until then.

It was a little strange to me as I was much younger then, but I think differently now. So often when folk die we have unresolved matters or have not been able to say thank you and just LOVE them. Show your affection in a "permitted" setting

Being old and ill now I am thinking about these things; thank you for reminding me.

yes I saw that movie but can't rem the name of it - twas v good... a lot of unresolved issues within the family wer brought to the fore..

sorry to hear you are ill - i hope you have support

but your welcome - you might like to read that book I mentioned - Tuesdays with Morrie

Graces7

sporina wrote: »

yes I saw that movie but can't rem the name of it - twas v good... a lot of unresolved issues within the family wer brought to the fore..

sorry to hear you are ill - i hope you have support

but your welcome - you might like to read that book I mentioned - Tuesdays with Morrie

Thank you and I an fine with it all at nearly an octogenarian blessed to have got this far.

There is a thread elsewhere on this " Death" or "your death" with some interesting thoughts. Some just think of death and not making arrangements etc. I don't think that that is fair on family

This way is a way of doing that. Needs renaming though!

sporina

Graces7 wrote: »

Thank you and I an fine with it all at nearly an octogenarian blessed to have got this far.

There is a thread elsewhere on this " Death" or "your death" with some interesting thoughts. Some just think of death and not making arrangements etc. I don't think that that is fair on family

This way is a way of doing that. Needs renaming though!

what would you call it?

yeah i know that thread... I was at a cremation last week and it got me thinking too..