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Life choices

  • 14-02-2021 2:18am
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm just looking for some impartial advice. Due to the pressures of getting full time work in my career for many years (I have it now), I'm almost forty living at home and it is incredibly difficult - I have no freedom now whatsoever with covid - I'm still the child - but that's not the problem.

    Anyway, a few years ago, I had a serious health scare which thankfully was fixed by a fantastic surgeon. I had a disappointment last year when it happened again, but this time I've been told - should anything happen again - there is no cure and this will have serious implications on my life - I will lose my independence and the career I've worked so hard to get into. I don't know what jobs I could do if the worst comes to the worst.

    Now finally my query is - I have been planning on building a house with the past few years - have planning and mortgage but I'm filled with doubt - what happens if my health drops again and I've lost my independence and career - what happens to me and my house? Obviously, I won't be able to pay a mortgage and should I have to retire on medical grounds from work - I won't have a huge lump sum as I won't have my service completed.

    I'm usually a very positive person - I dealt with my health issues a few years ago but I'm really scared at the moment and what life has in store for me. I know things happen to anyone and I've always been of the opinion that you live life one day at a time but if I have a mortgage and can't pay it, have to sell my house (it would be on family land) and more importantly deal with my life going into turmoil - I would end up back at home in my childhood bedroom. I have the problem also where I am overly independent - I find it difficult to ask for help but I'm always there for others - my phone is always busy - I get many calls from colleagues and friends but again wouldn't feel I could discuss this in case my mask would slip - as I said I'm very positive and will always see a light at the end of a tunnel - just not my own problems.

    I've rambled - what I'm asking is should I plough ahead with the plans I've made or wait for the inevitable to happen (and it may not). How do I gain my independence? I appreciate any response.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,890 ✭✭✭Princess Calla

    None of us know what's around the corner. You could be 100% healthy and end up in a car crash etc.

    I would talk to a financial advisor/broker.....there's different life assurance policies you can put in place for if the worst happens.

    It's been a few years since I've looked at products available but the usually there was some form of "critical illness" cover you could avail of.

    An advisor/ broker can steer you in the right direction. Shop around as different policies offer different covers etc.

    As you have an illness your premium may be extra "rated" and the underwriter might add extra terms.

    However if the worst were to happen you'd have a certain amount of financial cover.

    Once you get that "peace of mind" then maybe start looking at the build etc.

    It's hard and scary.....when I bought my house on my own I was apprehensive too as it's a big financial "risk" but it's one we all "need" to do.

    Best of luck.

  • Registered Users Posts: 5,976 ✭✭✭secman

    To get mortgage protection policy you would probably have to declare your illness ? Maybe you would need to speak to a Financial advisor and lay all the cards out.
    Best of luck

  • Registered Users Posts: 892 ✭✭✭TheadoreT

    Hard to fully advise without knowing the condition. Is it all beyond your control or are there things you can do to improve your chances of better health in the future?

    You say you're overly independent but living at home where you're treated like a child. I know the context of both statements were different but you cant really be independent in that situation.

    You gotta give life a chance while you still have youth somewhat on your side. Your worse case scenario is ending up where you are right now so seems you dont have a whole lot to lose(deposit and perhaps pride aside). Go for it imo.

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,918 ✭✭✭bilbot79

    Maybe your mortgage and salary protection policies are going to be more expensive but will ultimately make it possible

  • Registered Users Posts: 969 ✭✭✭LimeFruitGum

    Don't know how feasible this is if you're rural, but would the site or house have rental potential?

    If moving back home is not an option, then I'd consider a plan for some kind of granny flat/annexe/conversion on the site that you could move into, should your condition deteriorate. The main house would at least be occupied and covered via rent?

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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,394 ✭✭✭ManOfMystery

    Talk to an advisor. There are numerous policies and insurances you can take out (mortgage protection, critical illness cover, etc). It costs a little more but gives you peace of mind. We have a fair few taken out so that if anything was to happen to either one of us, the mortgage would be covered and financial worries would not be an issue for either spouse or (down the line) our child.

  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser

    Hi folks, I want to thank everyone for the respones. I have been thinking and of course I can't live at home for the rest of my days waiting for something that may not happen - Miss Havisham comes to mind for those of you who studied Great Expectations for the Leaving. The only guarantee in life is death so it would be waiting a long time.

    The medical condition would be related to losing my vision. Other than that I am healthy and got to 33 without any medical problems.

    Re independence - my independence is through making myself get through university/other things e.g. car purchase without asking for help. I've worked to support myself and am a saver and don't want to take on a massive financial debt that I could never pay because I would have to give up my job.

    Yes mortgage protection will be a must. I'll get my ducks in a row and then go for it - the excitement of seeing a house that I can enjoy excites me incredibly. The importance of having my own space, friends visiting even putting on a load of washing when I want (which my mother would prefer to do than me in case I break the machine but I stuck firm on that one :) )

    Thanks again for the advice - it has shoved me in the direction that something in the back of mind is urging me to do - I have imagined the way I want to furnish and regularly look at my house plans with excitement. So now is the time to take the plunge.

  • Registered Users Posts: 4,890 ✭✭✭Princess Calla

    It is daunting for everyone going at it alone.

    Then you have a medical condition on top of it. However there are ways around that and ways to protect yourself etc.

    With building from scratch you can also incorporate medical needs (future needs) into your plan so you won't need to make changes/adaptations down the line.

    It's one of those things that you just need to take a leap of faith.