Supermarket Gomies

smellyoldboot

What is your favourite type of imbecile to encounter while undergoing essential visits to the shop.

I'll start: for this it's almost universally a woman of a certain age, say 40 -55 years old, self important full of chat about how busy they are etc, way too many items to fit in the single bag they have but force them in they will (while you wait, and wait).

And then, when the packing and self indulgent Shyte talk is complete, comes the discovery: I have to pay for this! Of course the money is not to hand or even handy. Up comes the oversized handbag containing all but the kitchen sink. A right oul fish and a purse is produced. Hurrah the wait is over.

Our hero produces.... a card. Urgh. Stares at the card reader as if it were some outlandish sci-fi technology. "Sorry ma'am would you like to try again?". More confusion, more tapping. "Sorry ma'am it's been declined" "Oh I put money in yesterday, I have money in the car" (why the Fcuk not in the Santa sack?)

Anyway that's mine.

Montage of Feck

Always look for the line of pathetic single men. All lonely bachelors. No chit chat.

Wanderer78

People really have gone extra weird during this pandemic, does everyone stand around now, judging others now!

greenspurs

Internet gomies.....

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chuck eastwood

always make sure to have my two sons with me and make sure to **** about in the line while watching the boards gomie/gowls behind me twitch with anger. It's great craic watching him scold us with his eyes then as slow as possible I let the two lads fill the bags while dropping sh*t all over the floor. At this stage the boards gomie is fuming but because he spends his life here moaning he hasn't got the balls to ask me to hurry up. All this has become even more enjoyable since covid. In a genuine pleasure seeing them freak out on the inside. Ah balls, lads stay here while I run back and get some gluten free gluten (I don't know what gluten is) . At this stage the gowl/gomie has had his third stroke and my youngest has shate himself so I leave all the shopping and head off home after another successful gowl boards gomie hunt. As I **** about in the car park I see the gowl with his learner plates take 3 hours to get out of his parking spot. Life is good, it's the little things

McGinniesta

I don;t like anybody

Tipperary animal lover

Montage of Feck wrote: »

Always look for the line of pathetic single men. All lonely bachelors. No chit chat.

As a gay man I take offence to that 😉, in this covid times your not suppose to be standing around chit chatting, the op is right it happens a lot but that's life everyone's different , have a nice happy Saturday Montage.

the beer revolu

OP, have you considered stand up comedy?
Such creativity and wit!
It's funny became it's true! Lol.

Or perhaps a novel?
Your acute observation and originality would surely go far!

Oh, I'm still smiling and laughing to myself!

FinnC

Montage of Feck wrote: »

Always look for the line of pathetic single men. All lonely bachelors. No chit chat.

Somebody is triggered

greenspurs

Tipperary animal lover wrote: »

As a gay man I take offence to that 😉, in this covid times your not suppose to be standing around chit chatting, the op is right it happens a lot but that's life everyone's different , have a nice happy Saturday Montage.

FinnC wrote: »

Somebody is triggered

Was he not bouncing an insult at the original poster ?
Thats the way i read it ??

smellyoldboot

Montage of Feck wrote: »

Always look for the line of pathetic single men. All lonely bachelors. No chit chat.

Ah the Simpsons, it's funny because it's also absolutely true. Queue size is no indicator of queue speed. A lengthy line of single men/ young people is the one to join. No talking, no special offer querying, all less than 10 items, ready meals for one, maybe a few cans, boop boop, boop, cash payment, job done, next.

Harry Palmr

Montage of Feck wrote: »

Always look for the line of pathetic single men. All lonely bachelors. No chit chat.

Hey you! :pac:

My least favourite type is the "appster" Lidl is my haunt and they have one which too often is a source of confusion and frustration for the user, the checkout and the queue. And all for what? A few cents saved - in Lidl! You're already buying food for barely the cost of production.

Badly Drunk Boy

The people who annoy me the most the ones who have their trolley on one side of the aisle and, while holding on to it, reach over to the shelf on the other side, blocking the otherwise empty aisle. They're always lost in their own little world, and if you ask to get by, they act as if you've asked to sacrifice their first-born to the great god Moloch. And of course, they're always female.

blackvalley

Why do i always join the wrong line . You know the scene . A quick scan to check the numbers in each line , avoid the one with someone who has six months worth of shopping piled up in overflowing baskets , and head to the shortest one .BUT inevitably the shopper described by the OP happens to be lurking amongst the three people in my line .
Its a bit like the strange thing that happens when you are driving and stop to let someone pull out of a drive or side road. It usually turns out that they are a menace to you and everyone else on the road with erratic driving AND by some strange coincidence they are going all they way to your destination .
Not to be taken seriously though . Thats life with all the variations in human nature . Im sure that on a given day i am the one holding the rest up .
Have a nice day all .

Potential-Monke

Montage of Feck wrote: »

Always look for the line of pathetic single men. All lonely bachelors. No chit chat.

There is no other line for me. All the other lines take waaaaay too long, are full of chat filled plebs who just "need" to have that unnecessary conversation with the person they're with or the person serving on the tills.

The days of using supermarkets as a social outing should be well gone. There should be no chatting full stop. Guidance telling people to go shopping 1 person at a time, leave the little shytes darlings at home, etc.

My biggest peeve though are the absolute tw@s who decide to block an aisle with other people to have a chat. Get your stuff and fuk off outside if you want to chat you inconsiderate cnuts!

Yeah, shopping is a very relaxing time for me these days...

The Continental Op

Wanderer78 wrote: »

People really have gone extra weird during this pandemic, does everyone stand around now, judging others now!

Great craic while waiting in the queue you can make sweeping assumptions about other people in the queue from whats in their shopping trolley.

I often go through with just a bottle of gin and a massive amount of dog food - what does that say about me. When I get to the checkout operator I say to them - just getting the essentials.

smellyoldboot

The Continental Op wrote: »

Great craic while waiting in the queue you can make sweeping assumptions about other people in the queue from whats in their shopping trolley.

I often go through with just a bottle of gin and a massive amount of dog food - what does that say about me. When I get to the checkout operator I say to them - just getting the essentials.

Go through with a cucumber, pack of condoms and bottle of cooking oil and vodka. Secretly record the reaction.

Thelonious Monk

what on earth is a gomie?

smellyoldboot

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

what on earth is a gomie?

It's a gomey. Gomies is the plural.

Fake Scores

People dropping and breaking stuff before they get
to the till. And they don't even want to pay for it.

How Soon Is Now

I always use the self service check outs and hate it when someone decides to bring a whole weeks worth of shopping in and take forever fumbling around trying to scan everything.

prinzeugen

I hate the ones (usually hipster types aged 25-35) that think it's a great idea to buy a coffee 2 mins before doing the shopping.

Wandering around Tesco very slowly with a basket in one hand and a paper coffee cup in the other.

The Continental Op

prinzeugen wrote: »

I hate the ones (usually hipster types aged 25-35) that think it's a great idea to buy a coffee 2 mins before doing the shopping.

Wandering around Tesco very slowly with a basket in one hand and a paper coffee cup in the other.

But Dunnes encourage that In my local Dunnes the trollies have cup holders :eek:

At least Lidl have the sense to put their coffee machine on the way out.

Potential-Monke

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

I always use the self service check outs and hate it when someone decides to bring a whole weeks worth of shopping in and take forever fumbling around trying to scan everything.

That's the shops fault for not enforcing the item limit. If you need a trolley for all the items you're buying, you shouldn't be using it.

Thelonious Monk

smellyoldboot wrote: »

It's a gomey. Gomies is the plural.

Never heard either word before.

Potential-Monke

I believe it originates in Glasgow

mfceiling

The Continental Op wrote: »

At least Lidl have the sense to put their coffee machine on the way out.

Or the way in.

The Continental Op

mfceiling wrote: »

Or the way in.

If you want to be a Gomy and get in past two sets of automatic doors that only open for people on the inside or squeeze past the checkout queue during a pandemic.

prinzeugen

Potential-Monke wrote: »

I believe it originates in Glasgow

I have never heard it before. I presume its a take on the Scottish term Gormless.

smellyoldboot

Potential-Monke wrote: »

I believe it originates in Glasgow

Nah the Glasgow one from what I looked up is a completely different meaning.

A gomey is an awful dope, further along the scale than an eejit but quite yet a spa.

razorblunt

These days its the young family shopping. Social distancing, trying to shop on your own (many still can't do this for some reason).
I'm not talking about a single parent with the kids, it's the whole family. Mam, Dad, 2 kids. Leave a parent in the car with the kids FFS, its a pandemic!

elefant

I see a few posts mentioning payment by card as slowing things down. Is cash really faster?

Real Life

elefant wrote: »

I see a few posts mentioning payment by card as slowing things down. Is cash really faster?

Its not paying by card that's the problem, its not having your card ready and having to go search for it and then maybe not having enough money in your account or the card won't work.

fryup

nah, its those money off vouchers that slow things down

Qwertyminger

For me it's people who go into a shop. Serious gomey vibes. Why would anyone choose to walk into a shop. You literally don't need to anymore.

Atlantic Dawn

The type that decided it was a good idea for about 9 of them to all gather around a single self service checkout and look with interest as if the person making the payment was on a $100 a spin slot machine in Vegas.

BrianD3

razorblunt wrote: »

These days its the young family shopping. Social distancing, trying to shop on your own (many still can't do this for some reason).
I'm not talking about a single parent with the kids, it's the whole family. Mam, Dad, 2 kids. Leave a parent in the car with the kids FFS, its a pandemic!

As with many things (e.g. driver behaviour on our roads) it's much worse at weekends. Zombie couples and families wandering around the shop, why can't one of them do the shopping. Do they need someone to hold their hand while they decide whether to buy Lyons or Barrys teabags.

Masks often slipping down below their noses too, I suppose that's what happens when the mouth is permanently hanging open.

fryup

BrianD3 wrote: »

Do they need someone to hold their hand while they decide whether to buy Lyons or Barrys teabags.

in fairness it is a tough decision

Be right back

fryup wrote: »

in fairness it is a tough decision

If you're in Cork, it's a no brainer!

kegg

Qwertyminger wrote: »

For me it's people who go into a shop. Serious gomey vibes. Why would anyone choose to walk into a shop. You literally don't need to anymore.

Wha?

Strumms

The gimpy fûckbags who walk down the center of the aisle with their trolley.. then when they spot the item they want or a shelf they want to root at, they leave the trolley in the middle of the aisle, and walking to the shelf....making about 5 people who are attempting to pass them ,wait for the 60 - 120 seconds... while they examine all the dates on the Angels Delight.. ffs.

This seeems to be a thing now.

prinzeugen

elefant wrote: »

I see a few posts mentioning payment by card as slowing things down. Is cash really faster?

Yes. What people don't know is that every 5th or 6th contactless payment gets automatically declined and you must put in your PIN.

Its really people that insist on paying by mobile phone that take the longest.
Takes them ages, fecking about with apps etc.
€20 note or the old bit plastic is faster.
Whip it out and stick it in and your away.

Wanderer78

prinzeugen wrote: »

Yes. What people don't know is that every 5th or 6th contactless payment gets automatically declined and you must put in your PIN.

Its really people that insist on paying by mobile phone that take the longest.
Takes them ages, fecking about with apps etc.
€20 note or the old bit plastic is faster.
Whip it out and stick it in and your away.

people seriously need to find some patience, so what if you re waiting a few extra seconds for someone in a queue, speeding up queues is truly only benefitting shareholders, while the pressure is being put back out to the customer, its called 'increasing throughput', so fcuk'em, take your time

fortwilliam

Airplane food....... What's that all about?

Eh....


Is this thing on????

Potential-Monke

Wanderer78 wrote: »

people seriously need to find some patience, so what if you re waiting a few extra seconds for someone in a queue, speeding up queues is truly only benefitting shareholders, while the pressure is being put back out to the customer, its called 'increasing throughput', so fcuk'em, take your time

On the flip side, people need to learn to respect other peoples time. It doesn't take much to be prepared for the action you're about to take, especially when it comes to shopping. Most people use trollies or baskets, so it's 100% possible to have your cash/card/phone/vouchers ready and not be messing about at the tills.

Lidl/Aldi checkouts are the best example. You put your shopping on the conveyor, put the trolley at the end of the aisle, put everything back into the trolley and then pack at the provided shelf behind it. But no, people have to pack at the till because that's the way it's always been done. People literally go against the design of the shop.

If people don't respect/value their own time why do you think they would consider someone else's?

I found myself getting wound up by another shopper recently and recognised after a few moments that it was pointless. It wasn't going to make them move any quicker or whatever. Just because I might be in a rush doesn't oblige others to clear out of my way.

Potential-Monke

Being in a rush is one thing, that's kinda your own fault for leaving whatever it is so late. But just in general, there's no excuse for some of the delays that people cause. I don't get worked up in person, only internally, but I do take joy from misery somewhat. I just don't like unnecessary, avoidable delays in the only social situation I find myself in (by choice) during a global pandemic.

PTH2009

People who's face masks blocks there vision and come racing around the corner or bursts out through doors at full speed