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Friend terminal cancer diagnosis

  • 24-01-2021 6:31pm
    Registered Users Posts: 1,047 ✭✭✭ mollybird


    A dear close friend of mine was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer bout 18 months ago and was told she had 5 years. I was told last month that her ongoing treatment had stopped working and was just after starting a new treatment when she went for an MRI as she had been experiencing some falls and found out last week that her cancer has spread to her brain. She has now been given just a year with this new diagnosis and im beyond heart broken. She lives in cork and i am in dublin so i can't get down to see her until this lockdown has eased which prob won't happen till march :( Any advice on what i can say or do for her while i can't be with her? i have told some friends that we would mutually know which she was happy that i was able to ease the burden a bit. She is to start radiotherapy on her full brain asap and will be finishing up work soon. My husband and I have asked her to be godmother to our new arrival but im afraid she won't be able to make the christening as we dont' plan on having it till june and wondering if there might be something else i might be able to do if she will be too ill to make it up.


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,509 Mod ✭✭✭✭ looksee

    That's not good OP, I am sorry to hear about your friend. In the mean time could you make a point of contacting her by text or other media every day or two, with just perhaps a nice pic, something amusing, you know what she would appreciate.

    As to being godmother, she could still be godmother and you could ask someone to stand in for her as proxy, we did this for one of ours when we were living abroad. Keep her in touch and send pictures. However maybe you should consider that she may wish to opt out anyway, the purpose of a godmother is to care for the child spiritually as he or she grows up, how might she feel about the implications of this?

    It is unlikely that you will be able to visit in person even in March, her immune system will be compromised and she will no doubt prefer to remain cocooned at least until the radiotherapy is done.

  • Registered Users Posts: 2,960 ✭✭✭ aquinn

    Desperately sorry to read this.

    Just to clarify radiotherapy won't impact her immune system. Chemotherapy does but not radiotherapy. She will most likely be fatigued from it. Get her a natural moisturiser like moo goo as skin can be sensitive and told to use E45.