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Pulling a sickie in a pandemic

  • 17-01-2021 6:42pm
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭

    I'm going through a hard time. I'm not happy in my job and the job hunting is not going very well. My employer is a bully. I dread going into work every morning but I get up, get ready, put on a happy face, go to work, do it and hide it. My employer is a bully and speaks down to me. She gave out to me last week over something that was beyond my control and not even in my job duties but she made sure to pin it onto my back. There was a back log over the Christmas and the new year period and she was giving out to me for the back log even though I wasn't there over the Christmas and new year. I went back to work after the new year and I worked hard and I did as much as I could physically do clearing a backlog and as much as the machines would let me. It wasn't good enough and she just looked down on me so much with a dirty, sharp tone.

    I'm off for the weekend and I got a missed call and voice message from my employer with another stinky tone, again something else beyond my control.

    It's a small workplace and there's no HR department.

    I feel physically sick with the thought of going to work now and working for this woman. She talks to me like sh!t. I do my best and I often go above and beyond but it's not good enough. She only sees what she wants to see.

    I feel like pulling a sickie day for a day or two. I need a few more days off. I need a break from the place and from my employers dirty moods.

    Should I be feeling guilty for pulling a sickie?


  • Registered Users Posts: 631 ✭✭✭LilacNails

    Say u have been in close contact with someone that's just been diagnosed with COVID. No need to feel guilty if anyone it's her by the sound of it.

  • Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes

    No you don't need to feel guilty.

    However avoiding things often just makes them harder to face.

    OP i think you need to set some boundaries with your boss.

    Tell her firmly she may not call you during the weekends.

    Ask to meet with her and talk calmly with her about how you can work better together.

    Explain the effect she is having on you. And give her a polite but honest run down on her lackings as a boss.

    Point out how you have worked hard etc.

    Her being boss doesn't mean she is the boss of you ...if you get my meaning.

    Don't let people walk all over you.

  • Posts: 3,637 ✭✭✭[Deleted User]

    Don’t pull a sickie. If she’s not the head honcho, talk to her boss. If it happens again, or you get calls and voicemails during your time off, contact your GP and get signed off on stress leave.

    Employees need to respond appropriately when a manager is a dick. Pulling sickies isn’t how to do so. Talk to her boss and just let him/her know that you’re not the type to pull a sickie, but that next time she piles it onto you, you’ll give yourself rather than the business the benefit of the doubt. Leave it at that.

    If she’s actually top dog, call your GP and get signed off, then look for a new job. If the impetus for change doesn’t come from higher up, people like her won’t change.

  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,797 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hannibal_Smith

    Don't pull a sickie. Its just kicking the can down the road. Keep the messages, including voice messages that she has sent. You need to address this with her directly.

    She should not be contacting you over the weekend and blaming you for a backlog is just ridiculous.

    Keep a diary of whats going on and if you need to, see your GP about the stress that you're under. Maybe they can give you a certificate for a few days.

    Although it's still early days and you should discuss it with your boss and see if you can come to a solution together, if you can't and she continues despite you doing your work properly and to the best of your ability, consider discussing it with an employment law solicitor.

    Whatever you do, don't pull a sickie. Just because you don't have a HR department doesn't mean your employee rights or your employer's responsibilities are diluted.

  • Registered Users Posts: 190 ✭✭Dog day

    Hi OP,

    I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

    Being bullied can cause huge stress which in turn can lead to many knock-on physical & emotional ailments. I’d actually advise booking a call with your Doctor to get at least a week off. This will give you headspace to diarise everything to date & plan your next move which I would advise should include:

    - a new approach to your job search, different tactics, recruitment agencies, roles, etc.
    - escalating this issue upon your return to work - however be mindful that once you start this ball rolling it can become a juggernaut & involve even more stress. I’m of the opinion that we all must stand up to bullies but whilst being keenly aware that your health & happiness are the primary concerns here.

    I wish you the best of luck. Take care.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 190 ✭✭Dog day

    LilacNails wrote: »
    Say u have been in close contact with someone that's just been diagnosed with COVID. No need to feel guilty if anyone it's her by the sound of it.

    I could be wrong LilacNails but the Employer may be entitled to ask for proof of same? I think a general sick cert from a trusted Doctor is the best approach.

  • Registered Users Posts: 631 ✭✭✭LilacNails

    Dog day wrote: »
    I could be wrong LilacNails but the Employer may be entitled to ask for proof of same? I think a general sick cert from a trusted Doctor is the best approach.

    I'm not sure myself, but I don't recommend my idea if they do :O

  • Registered Users Posts: 11 TippMammy

    This does not answer your question but maybe helpful to know someone on my husband's work team -we both think we do not know for sure- may have done the same.
    My husband isn't giving out or thinking less of him, he's just really concerned since he signed off sick.
    There is huge pressure on people in work places right now and a difficult manager is hard during the best of times let alone right now.
    I also think people don't include your mental health as a need for a break. Sometimes you need to think of what you need and don't feel guilty for fulfilling this for yourself x

    I hope things get better, positive thoughts from us to you.

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,377 ✭✭✭Airyfairy12

    I really think you need to be assertive here and have a word with the manager, youre not a little baby, if you want to take a day off then do, as an adult thats your choice.
    You could go to your doctor and get a sick cert for a week or 2 for mental health reasons.