Embarrassing message sent

LegacyUser

I really liked a guy last year. I used to work with him, he was funny, cute smile, thought we got on ok. I don't think he was seeing someone, or I wasn't sure but there's nothing on Facebook to say he was. I was leaving my job so I chanced asking him out and he turned me down.

That was last year. I moved on. So last night, I was on messenger and he showed up online as well. He has the same first name as someone else. I was meant to message the other guy but accidentally clicked into the guy I liked last year and next thing I accidentally sent him a thumbs up. I was so embarrassed, it happened so quickly and it just happened. I thought I would explain myself and sent another message saying it was accidental. He saw the message but went ignored. So I'm guessing he wasn't cool about it to not laugh it off.

I'm so embarrassed by it all. Is there anything I can do or just ignore what's done?

YellowLead

Maybe if you still worked with him it might be a tad embarrassing but you don’t so will prob never see him again, therefore it’s a total non issue

zoobizoo

Is it more or less embarrassing than accidentally sending a Facebook invite to every one in your email address book including all of one's exes which I did when joining Facebook?


He probably should have responded "no worries at all" rather than saying nothing. Don't worry yourself about it.

eviltwin

It was just a thumbs up unless I am missing something?

Nothing embarrassing about that at all. Ignore and move on.

TheadoreT

He'll have definitely not thought it was an accident considering you asked him out before so prob explains why he didnt reply as easier than getting into a potentially awkward chat.

We all have a thing or two that happen to us like this that can seem ultra embarrassing at the time but you'll prob look back and laugh at it in time. Its character building.

Airyfairy12

Dont worry about it. Think of all the guys who asked you out over the years, I know for me I felt flattered by their interested but just didnt feel the same.. Surely thats how he feels, if he thinks badly of you just for asking him out then you dodged a bullet. As for the thumbs up message, its happened to me a few times while scrolling the side bar or sat on my phone, it happens and is not a big deal, again if he thinks badly of you, thats on him.
It sounds like you really care about what he thinks of you, maybe thats something you should be concentrating on, why do you care about what he thinks? What effect does his opinion of you have on your life?

Embarrassment happens to us all but as far as embarrassing instances, on a scale of 1 - 10, 10 being catastrophic public embarrassment, id say your a 1 and thats pushing it.

Its really not a big deal and soon you'll have forgotten all about it as will he.

leggo

I remember back in the day when you’d write a message then have to go find the person in the phone book to send it to them I sent text messages talking about people directly to them, on multiple occasions. It wasn’t even a particularly rare occurrence because it was so easily done. As has been said, we all have these stories.

For what it’s worth, I’d assume if that happened me that it was a mistake, simply because I only ever send that stupid thumbs up by accident myself. It’d still beg the question, to him, of why you were in the messenger chat with him. But if it was me I’d have already forgotten about it tbh. It might weirdly make you feel better that he turned you down here because you tend not to give a **** if someone you turned down does something like this or remember it, it’s only the ones you’re into that you make a note of, hence you being on boards and him not even acknowledging. Forget about this OP. Just a funny embarrassing thing that happened like me texting people I was speaking about, you’ll laugh about it within like a week.

Hannibal_Smith

I definitely wouldn't do anything more about it. But I think it depends on what you said in your clarifying message. If you sent a thumbs up and said sorry that was a mistake, there'd be nothing to reply to and no reason for him to. So hopefully that might ease your mind a bit about it.

I certainly wouldn't go round in circles with what ifs and why nots. Give yourself a few days and you'll have forgotten all about it yourself.

Gruffalux

Given the scale of digital embarrassment goes all the way to vigorously **** in zoom meetings with colleagues when you forget the camera is on, I would say sending a thumbs up and a sorry to a guy online now ranks about minus 63 on the blush-worthy scale.

wiggle16

You're way over-thinking this. Put it this way: it's only embarrassing to you because you asked him out before. If you'd sent this to a friend or sibling by accident you would not have thought twice about it.

His lack of reply isn't an indication that he wasn't cool with it, because a thumbs up is a completely inoffensive thing. It's kind of bad form for him not to reply with something like "LOL no problem" but he probably saw your explanation and thought "oh, okay" and went back to whatever he was doing. He wouldn't have thought twice about it. There is no need to be embarrassed at all.

Seriously, forget about it. I guarantee he has.

Xterminator

Hi Op

basically you sent him a digital 'how's it going'. You then sent a 'sorry meant for someone else'. he saw but ignored both.

its not different than if you said hi walking down the street and he ignored you. i imagine its a bit awkward for him, as he turned down your offer when you asked him out, and to be blunt he has not changed his mind. It is a little embarrassing, but in the scale of things - very modest in the scale of things. You have not exposed yourself to ridicule, and if he is a decent sort of person he will hardly be advertising the fact a girl he turned down said 'hi' to mutual acquaintances.

Your best course of action is to ignore the whole thing. Any further response to him at this time would be pointless and counterproductive!

Perhaps having him as a friend on FB is not the wisest? I suspect that you may have at least hoped for a change of mind from him at some time in the future.

bitofabind

Do you have a habit of over-thinking and dwelling on past events OP?

What helps me to get out of panic mode with trivial things like this is to ask, "will this matter in five years?" And will it? LOL like hell it will. It won't even matter next week. Guaranteed this guy has forgotten about it already.

Rejection is hard and maybe this here is bringing back those old feelings you got when he said no. He wasn't interested then, he isn't interested now, think of this as a funny way of finding that out "just to be sure". Like Rachel in Friends opening the door to her ex in the wedding dress. "That oughta do it" :D Laugh at it, if nothing else it's vaguely funny. Everyone has a "and then I did something horrifying online by accident / whilst drunk" and yours is SO TAME, trust me!

wiggle16

bitofabind wrote: »

:D Laugh at it, if nothing else it's vaguely funny. Everyone has a "and then I did something horrifying online by accident / whilst drunk" and yours is SO TAME, trust me!

^^^ this.

Years ago I was falling out with a friend, we weren't speaking to one another, but both lived in the same small town at the time, and one day I was in a clothes shop and saw her with her boyfriend, we were both browsing for clothes at opposite ends of the rack. Pretty sure she saw me too but was pretending not to notice. So I took out my phone and texted another mate saying "I'm in DiscountClothes and f*cking Jane is here with her bloke, pair of them f*cking stalking me around menswear. You'd want to see the hack of what she's wearing I'm not surprised she's looking for clothes LOL"

And, instead of my other friend, who did I accidentally send it to? F*cking Jane. I nearly died. I saw her taking out her phone and I legged it out of the shop.

So in the grand scheme of things OP you could have done a whole lot worse! Seriously just forget about it

Katgurl

OP this is seriously seriously seriously nothing. It was a thumbs up! I have sent accidental messages far too many times, it's so easily done especially now with smart phones, glasses not to hand or a couple of drinks on board.

He will probably have paused, seen your explanation, nodded and not given it another thought.

On another note, you are my hero for asking him out in the first place. I come across so confident and self assured but in reality I never asked guys out when I was single. Who cares if he turned you down? I bet he loved it but was in some way attached.

Porklife

Fair play for asking him out Op, mucho respect as Katgurl said above, it shows real character.

I was crazy about a guy a few years ago after a holiday fling. He messaged me one night out of the blue on messenger. We hadn't spoken for months. He was telling me about a situation with his job and instead of saying Wtf.. I replied STD. I have no idea how messenger mixed up the letters and somehow capitalized it but he immediately went offline! I nearly died with embarrassment! I never heard from him again and I find it really funny now

If tables were reversed and a guy sent you a thumbs up and said oh sorry that was an accident, how would you react? No doubt you wouldn't give a flying ****!!

Brush it off and like Bitofabind said, laugh about it. It actually is funny and if he doesn't see that whatevz!

cloudatlas

embarrassing message wrote: »

I really liked a guy last year. I used to work with him, he was funny, cute smile, thought we got on ok. I don't think he was seeing someone, or I wasn't sure but there's nothing on Facebook to say he was. I was leaving my job so I chanced asking him out and he turned me down.

That was last year. I moved on. So last night, I was on messenger and he showed up online as well. He has the same first name as someone else. I was meant to message the other guy but accidentally clicked into the guy I liked last year and next thing I accidentally sent him a thumbs up. I was so embarrassed, it happened so quickly and it just happened. I thought I would explain myself and sent another message saying it was accidental. He saw the message but went ignored. So I'm guessing he wasn't cool about it to not laugh it off.

I'm so embarrassed by it all. Is there anything I can do or just ignore what's done?

If you had accidentally sent him an embarrassing message about him that was meant for a friend then that would be embarrassing but a thumbs up.... Don't worry at all.

And fair play to you for being brave enough to ask him out in the first place that takes a lot of guts.

ILoveYourVibes

Op you don't have anything to be embarrassed about.

Dont worry and forget it.

The chan chan man

You sent him a thumbs up?? So what.

Calypso Realm

[QUOTE=eviltwin;115729006]It was just a thumbs up unless I am missing something?

Nothing embarrassing about that at all. Ignore and move on.[/QUOTE]

Absolutely. To me it was probably obvious it was meant for someone else,something you later qualified with the second message.

Leave it now, as he's in all likelihood forgotten about it and so should you!

mojesius

With the sheer amount of online platforms, messaging apps etc. nowadays, he's probably seen dozens of messages since that one and hasnt given it a second thought. A bit dickish of him not to cordially reply but that's nothing to do with you. Really nothing to be embarrassed about. Be kind to yourself X