Are you assertive?

Ekerot

It's something I'm trying to work on myself at the moment, I was what you would call a doormat growing up; often my parents would ask for my opinion of something/to do something and when I said no they would just tell me to do it anyway. It made me feel like my opinion was worthless, then after a while, I just said nothing or "we'll see" to avoid the questions.

How goes the battle with you? Can you stand your ground against everyone or do you have difficulties with parents/work/strangers/etc?

Beechwoodspark

I would be but sometimes I have to “remind” myself to be assertive

I had a complete charlatan con man of a direct manager for a few months this year - he was found out thankfully but it took too long imho - turned out he seriously decieved employer on a number of fronts. but while I was under “his management” I had to snap out of it now and then and remind myself he was a complete and utter bluffer who hadn’t a breeze (he kept referring to bs sales techniques that worked in his original country of South Africa) so I totally I was a bit shell shocked initially when listening to his clap trap rubbish.

Then I grew a pair as the saying goes and asserted myself and basically told him in a diplomatic way he was talking sheeet when appropriate.

Tldr- work in Progress but getting better at it

I've learned that most people are more foolish than me.. I'm still foolish but they are generally worse.

So, being assertive isn't hard.

Definite doormat in my youth but a lot of things have changed that around completely. Learning to fight was one. Learning close up magic and hypnotism and NLP style things was another. And finally the internal mantra of "I am not better than anyone - and no one is better than me" repeated often enough in my mind has finally started to stick.

valor rorghulis

I've gotten better on it. Jordan Peterson's lectures on agreeableness helped me a lot (on youtube)

everlast75

Sorry.

I meant to reply to this days ago.

Yes, I'm assertive!

Deemed as Normal

Ekerot wrote: »

How goes the battle with you? Can you stand your ground against everyone or do you have difficulties with parents/work/strangers/etc?

Funnily enough, parents are the least of my worries. Once you know people very well, you get to know their tactics. It becomes very easy to stand up for yourself... to such an extent that you think you could handle anyone else just as easily. When you come across a new bully who has tactics that you haven't come across too often it can be harder.

Wibbs

Depends on context of course, but yes I'd be assertive more than not.

greenspurs

I dont know..
maybe, sometimes i think i can be. Not sure though..

What do you think ?

McGinniesta

I find that the threat of a good boot in the fanny\bollix is a much more effective tool.

Haraldkare

Like you, I am not naturally but am trying to work on it. I'm the guy that will keep changing direction while walking towards you on a footpath thinking "they're going left... no, right" and end up walking into you.

Now I just pick one side and stick with it. So I only walk into assertive people.

Ekerot

greenspurs wrote: »

I dont know..
maybe, sometimes i think i can be. Not sure though..

What do you think ?

I thought you were reciting the Malcolm in the Middle theme song there

begbysback

Yes I am, unless you say I’m not, then I’m probably not.

Irish_rat

Yes I have become more so in work anyway as things need to be done on time.

Marcos

Wibbs wrote: »

Depends on context of course, but yes I'd be assertive more than not.

You? :eek: No.

stateofflux

Yes, But imo assertiveness is best coupled with emotional intelligence /empathy. I know plenty of overly 'assertive' people who are on the dole because they said the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong person.

If you need to say something and you are not in a mad aggro state, just say it

Deemed as Normal

valor rorghulis wrote: »

I've gotten better on it. Jordan Peterson's lectures on agreeableness helped me a lot (on youtube)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o847bCPAdys&list=WL&index=129&ab_channel=DavidPakmanShow