Better Alternative Endings to News Reports

Capt. Autumn

A news report from Wuhan, China last night on RTE's 9 o'clock News.

I so wanted Yvonne Murray to sign off just after purchasing a chocolate-covered bat on a stick from the nearby street market.

And then, straight to camera, Yvonne Murray, Wuhan, China, (Biting off the bat's ear) for RTE News.

https://www.rte.ie/news/world/2020/1217/1184964-wuhan-covid-virus-one-year-on/

What news report could you make better?

Gregor Samsa

New York, September 11, 2001. Live footage of the second plane about to hit the tower. King Kong swings out from behind it with Jennifer Aniston in his hand, and swats, the plane out of the sky.

"News just in, George Lee has defected to NPHET. Lottie Ryan will be relieved of canteen duties and promoted to environment and pseudo-science correspondent in his place. Good night".

AllForIt

Eileen Dunne takes a pistol and shoots herself in the head live on air after apologising to the country for letting the country down over breaking lockdown rules.

FGR

Deleted User wrote: »

"News just in, George Lee has defected to NPHET. Lottie Ryan will be relieved of canteen duties and promoted to environment and pseudo-science correspondent in his place. Good night"

Was it Gift Grubb or Callan's Kicks that gave GL the 'Dr Doom' persona back in the day?

Either way - I would like there to be an introduction segment, like on those US late night talk shows, for Dr Doo- I mean Mr Lee on the Six One.

Your Face

"Go F*** Yourself San Diego"

AMKC

Ye people are sick. You can't change what is real unless you want to give out fake news.

Ekerot

"YES, THERE WAS INDEED NUCLEAR WEAPONS IN IRAQ!"