Parental Phone monitoring

danoriordan1402

Hi there, daughter will be 12 in January and is getting her first phone for Christmas. School have already warned about content circulating in a class Whatsapp group's so we have the horrors.... other than blocking said apps , (which she does use to chat to her close friend(s) on our phones)

Just wondering what software some parents here have experience of , I have heard Qustodia and Kaspersky are fairly popular. Her phone will be IOS and ours are Androids if that limits the options.

beauf

Circle + has one. Not used it, but use their firewall and like that. At that age we only allow chat with a handful of friends. Not the whole class. Too much bullying even accidental going on through those apps in schools. Especially with girls.

Tbh even many adults struggle with those apps because things can be interpreted differently when written than when spoken. Causes no end of arguments. Many adults I'll avoid using chat apps with. Because they can't interpret it correctly. I'll always ring them.

I think having plenty of open conversations about phone ownership, bullying, safety and appropriate behaviour online as far in advance and as often as possible is important. School resources that I find excellent are “webwise” and “My Selfie” (Available online). They offer lots of opportunities to have discussions about safety online. There are internet safety awareness courses for parents. Pre pandemic we used to have them once a year for parents in our school. I’m sure if you googled online you might find some? I’ve attended one in the past and it was a real eye opener, children are using apps that look seemingly innocent to adults ie calculators but they really hide photos and messages etc. Once you input a certain sum it opens the app, that terrified me! (But knowledge is power, which is why I think these courses are invaluable!)

Also setting limits and expectations before she gets her phone might be a good idea. I know some parents who say no phones or internet connected devices in bedrooms and the house WiFi gets turned off at bedtime. The parents have explained that they have the right to lift the child’s phone at any stage and check through it if they are concerned about something.

selfbuildache

Hi, I'm a few months ahead of you in this game. 13 year old got his first phone during the summer in prep for secondary. Having done a lot of research, I settled on the Google Family Link which as well as a lot of talking with my son, access to his phone, strict time limits, no phone upstairs, seems to be working for us.
(My one regret is allowing him to have snapchat. The 'chat' disappears after they read each others' texts. This however is not as bad as all the other 'features' snapchat employs to get users to use. My son is obsessed with gaining 'streaks' by 'snapping' his friends. This means he picks up the phone constantly to 'snap' away. I'm currently trying to implement a minimum 10 minute block of use!! It would have been far easier to have not given it to him at all. I'm hoping he'll make some kind of major infringement, so I can remove it! HTHs)

danoriordan1402

Thanks for all the input above, I will check out the Google Family Link as well - I am currently trialing Qustodia on the ipad at home ( there is a 3 day trial ) following a good chat about the do' and don't's with my daughter. The school did run an internet safety night for parents last year and even that was a bit of an eye opener- and I work in IT... but would not consider myself that saavy with the current Snapchat generation however.

beauf

The problem is Android, and the Application makers, including Google and similar, and social media sites, fight you every step of the way.
As soon as you have solution working, the sand shifts to something else. The time all this takes makes it unmanageable.
I've tried iKydz and now using Circle+ and you can block specific apps, websites etc. Then you set hours when they can used it, and time limits per day.

But they can simply go to a friends house and use their phone/computer, or watch movies.

We use dumb phones with the kids out of the house. (its just easier) Any smart Phones/Devices/computers are only used at home and thus filtered.
Though one kids managed to get the neighbours wifi and was on that for a few weeks before we noticed.
Once they get 14/15 thats a dumb phone isn't going to cut it though. But its still handy as an emergency phone.

Microsoft had a good system on their Windows Phones, until they abandoned that.
I used Microsoft Family, for a while but one kid, seemed to have some way of bypassing it. Kinda pointless.