Should i ask him to delete my pics

LegacyUser

Right so started talking to a guy on a dating app and it went there and I stupidly sent revealing photos of myself to him which now I regret.

We have since stopped talking and I'm just worried as he knows my full name and the town in which I live, I suppose I'm more worried because of that leak a few weeks ago.

So should I ask him with no guarantee he'll actually do it or learn from my mistakes?

YellowLead

ShouldI wrote: »

Right so started talking to a guy on a dating app and it went there and I stupidly sent revealing photos of myself to him which now I regret.

We have since stopped talking and I'm just worried as he knows my full name and the town in which I live, I suppose I'm more worried because of that leak a few weeks ago.

So should I ask him with no guarantee he'll actually do it or learn from my mistakes?

Did you include your face in the photos?
Would have been better to ask when you were finishing up but if he’s a decent guy he will understand and delete. If no face in the pictures I wouldn’t worry as much however.

Mickey_James

I wouldn't worry about it. Unless you ended on really bad terms and he had motive to get revenge he won't do anything with them.

It's very common, especially amongst younger people to send dirty pics.

The leak a few weeks ago was pics from girls onlyfans accounts that women posted for paying public to see. Despite what twitter etc would lead you to believe, they weren't revenge porn leaks. But the revenge porn/child porn links were thrown in there to make sure people wouldn't be sending them around.

leggo

Zero harm in asking OP, it's a reasonable request. Whether he does or not is another story but one you won't know (he'll almost definitely say yes regardless) and can't control so not something you should fret over unless given a reason to.

shamrock55

I stopped reading after the 2 nd sentence

JJayoo

shamrock55 wrote: »

I stopped reading after the 2 nd sentence

Thanks for letting everyone know

danslevent

In my experience, the guy won't delete them but probably won't do anything either with them. He probably has shown his friends though...

In future, just do body pictures that don't include face if you really want to send a picture.

We want to see the best in people, and more than likely he won't be a mega ahole and leak them online, but I highly doubt he would delete them, sorry

Try not to worry.

Neyite

shamrock55 wrote: »

I stopped reading after the 2 nd sentence

Mod:


Personal Issues is for people who actually do want to give helpful, constructive and kind advice to someone with a problem. Your post falls far short of this and the next one like it will earn you a warning.

KaneToad

If someone showed me racy pics that a girl had sent them I would think they were an ar$ehole of the highest order.

I wouldn't view the girl negatively at all.

ILoveYourVibes

I would ask him to delete them. You have no guarantee he will. And tbh i would suspect he would keep them. But you can try.

The only thing i can think of is ...if they turn up ..you know its him you can press charges ....people will see him as the bad guy not you.

danslevent

danslevent wrote: »

In my experience, the guy won't delete them but probably won't do anything either with them. He probably has shown his friends though...

I wouldn't say that's probable at all. I'm 33 and I've never seen or shared a pic of someone. And that's after a decade of being an expat in Asia with a huge number of friends and groups over the years.

OP, I wouldn't ask him at all. Why bother even reminding him of it. If he's inclined to share your pic, asking him to delete it won't result in anything except prompting it to happen.

ILoveYourVibes

Deleted User wrote: »

I wouldn't say that's probable at all. I'm 33 and I've never seen or shared a pic of someone. .

That's because you don't share them with other men. You are a good guy ..its usually quid pro quo ...or in a group that regularly does it.

Obv they are not going to show you if they think you will look down on them or worse report it ....they need you to also share pics of someone.

Its VERY common.
But a guy isn't going to show one of his friends randomly.

That is why you have never seen it. I mean i would say there are other kinds of illegal porn etc that you have never seen but the net is rife with the stuff.

valor rorghulis

If you don't want to cause offence by asking you could add in something like

"I know you'd never do anything with them I'm just afraid your phone/cloud could get hacked"

castle

I imagine he would just delete tbh, i been in that situation and i think he would not have shared with his friends. I presume he sent you pics also and have you deleted yet.
No harm asking him would he mine deleting as it give you peace of mine.

lollsangel

OP, I used to work with a guy that would show other guys pics he had been sent. While the other guys would laugh it off, they actually thought he was nithing but scum for doing it.

At the end of the day, if he does show them around, it says more about his character, than it does about you.

I'd safely say 99% of men wouldnt do that, just forget about it, and if he does do it, just bold it out...you didnt do anything wrong x

Katgurl

I can't see what is to be gained by asking him to delete them - if he's the type to show them around then he's not the type to respect your wishes about deleting them.

IAMAMORON

Do you no harm to ask him OP. But once you share any images with someone online they are in the lap of the gods.

I would ask him, at least he will know you have an issue with other people seeing images of you, most people will respect this, I mean that.

Otherwise just forget about it, as it is out of your hands. I have seen images of mutual friends before and to be honest I wasn't that fussed about them. There is nothing sexy about seeing someone else in the nip, it is the context of everything that counts.

Don't sweat it.

ShatterAlan

ShouldI wrote: »

Right so started talking to a guy on a dating app and it went there and I stupidly sent revealing photos of myself to him which now I regret.

We have since stopped talking and I'm just worried as he knows my full name and the town in which I live, I suppose I'm more worried because of that leak a few weeks ago.

So should I ask him with no guarantee he'll actually do it or learn from my mistakes?

I'm not sure how much this helps but if you yourself still have the pic(s) that you sent then I believe you can copyright them meaning that anybody distributing them without your permission can be sued and any platform upon which they appear has to take them down by law.

Zebrag

ShouldI wrote: »

Right so started talking to a guy on a dating app and it went there and I stupidly sent revealing photos of myself to him which now I regret.

We have since stopped talking and I'm just worried as he knows my full name and the town in which I live, I suppose I'm more worried because of that leak a few weeks ago.

So should I ask him with no guarantee he'll actually do it or learn from my mistakes?

I think leaning towards the if it ended amicably I wouldn't be too worried but people can change just to be spiteful.
If you want you could always throw a text and say "Hey any chance you could delete those photos. It was a spur of the moment thing and looking back now I'm not feeling very impressed and could do with the comfort of knowing you deleted those photos"
You can take his word for it and accept that he has deleted them.
If you don't feel overally confident he has you could always arrange a meet up (social distant) and he can prove in front of you that he's deleted them or even over a zoom call. I know that sounds a bit far fetched but if it gives you the comfort.
Lesson learned for next time

skallywag

Zebrag wrote: »

...If you don't feel overally confident he has you could always arrange a meet up (social distant) and he can prove in front of you that he's deleted them or even over a zoom call...

I am not sure what that is going to achieve?

If he wants to keep them he will have forwarded them to email, or put them onto a USB drive etc. Deleting them in front of you will not prove anything.

YellowLead

skallywag wrote: »

I am not sure what that is going to achieve?

If he wants to keep them he will have forwarded them to email, or put them onto a USB drive etc. Deleting them in front of you will not prove anything.

Also I think given this thread was started a month ago either OP has already asked or it would be a bit weird to reach out now and ask!

ManOfMystery

Meeting up will be a pointless exercise. He could have made 1000 copies by now and showing the OP an empty folder on his phone - or whatever - will be meaningless.