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Describe your own or the most dysfunctional family you've come across

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  • 14-12-2020 2:45am
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 691 ✭✭✭


    Little Miss Sunshine was on TG4 anocht. The main story revolves around an extremely dysfunctional family... got me thinking that every family have some degree of dysfunction and eccentricity to them, but some do have extremely odd dynamics .. Joseph Fritzel etc. But that's too sick for this.

    Really interested in hearing some of the 'oddest' families you have come across in your time, preferably local to your area, without naming anyone of course.


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,390 ✭✭✭Airyfairy12


    When I was 16 I went out with a boy who was the same age as me but had a really weird family. The mother quit her job and the dad was a bit of a del boy, he didnt work but was obsessed with money and constantly talked about how he was going to be a millionaire. He would take out loans of 10k and spend it all on a pile of rubbish that he thought he could sell for thousands. They had a shed full of random crap from bar stools, broken hotel drink fridges from the time he said he was going to open a hotel (which never happened) and invested thousands into random tables & chairs and furniture. He had a pile of pictures that he was sure would be worth millions, he bought them for 500 euro, they were chewed up and pissed on by rats.
    So they often had their electricity turned off, the house was freezing because they couldnt afford heating, they had no house phone because it got shut off and regularly had no food in the house. I called over one time and seen them all sitting in the kitchen eating gone off eggs as they had no other food.

    His parents treated him and his siblings like friends rather than their children. They would drink with them and their friends and hang out with them. Neither of them had any friends their own age.
    They would let their kids have house parties, invite loads of teenagers to the house to get drunk and take drugs.

    What was really strange was how they interacted with me and other teenagers, my ex's dad who was like 50 would ask me really personal and overly sexual questions. They would constantly make really immature and crude comments and jokes mostly toilet jokes or comments of a sexual nature.
    When his parents where together in public or even just in the house with us present, they where very overly affectionate with each other, my exs dad was constantly touching his wife, either grabbing her back side, rubbing her arms or legs or holding onto the back of her neck, he seems to always be touching her and sitting or standing right next to her. They seemed overly close and attached to one another while behind the scenes their marriage was falling apart.

    One night I had stayed over with my boyfriend, he went to work early the next morning and I stayed in bed, I was later awoken by the sound of his parents screaming at each other and his mother breaking down at his father for 'pressuring her into sexual acts she didnt want to do'.
    As their marriage was breaking down they turned to their childrens friends for support, they told their teenage childrens friends about the problems in their marriage, going into details about their troubled sex life. His mother 'went missing' for a couple of days and it turned out she was staying in the house of one of my ex's teenage friends whose parents had gone away for a week.
    She went to him for advice on her marriage.

    Not only this but they had two young daughters, one was 15, she somehow met an older man from another county and decided she wanted to be with him, her parents allowed her to drop out of school and move 4 hours away from home to go and live with her new boyfriend who was in his late 20's.


  • Registered Users Posts: 148 ✭✭Sakana


    I know a brother and a sister, both in their thirties, who physically fight regularly.


  • Posts: 6,192 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I know of a family of 5,who arent speaking to each other (each one has a different combo of who they do/dont talk with)

    This is going on with 5/6 years....i couldnt imagine living that kind of home life,


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,363 ✭✭✭corner of hells


    Some of my wife's family fell out a number of years ago over a very trivial comment that has now escalated into adult children ignoring each other at family gatherings, its reached a point where some of them dont even know what the comment was.


  • Registered Users Posts: 148 ✭✭Sakana


    Some of my wife's family fell out a number of years ago over a very trivial comment that has now escalated into adult children ignoring each other at family gatherings, its reached a point where some of them dont even know what the comment was.

    Yeah, I've seen that happen with my mother's family. ****ed up sense of loyalty and pride, it seems with my lot.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 13,505 ✭✭✭✭Mad_maxx


    When I was 16 I went out with a boy who was the same age as me but had a really weird family. The mother quit her job and the dad was a bit of a del boy, he didnt work but was obsessed with money and constantly talked about how he was going to be a millionaire. He would take out loans of 10k and spend it all on a pile of rubbish that he thought he could sell for thousands. They had a shed full of random crap from bar stools, broken hotel drink fridges from the time he said he was going to open a hotel (which never happened) and invested thousands into random tables & chairs and furniture. He had a pile of pictures that he was sure would be worth millions, he bought them for 500 euro, they were chewed up and pissed on by rats.
    So they often had their electricity turned off, the house was freezing because they couldnt afford heating, they had no house phone because it got shut off and regularly had no food in the house. I called over one time and seen them all sitting in the kitchen eating gone off eggs as they had no other food.

    His parents treated him and his siblings like friends rather than their children. They would drink with them and their friends and hang out with them. Neither of them had any friends their own age.
    They would let their kids have house parties, invite loads of teenagers to the house to get drunk and take drugs.

    What was really strange was how they interacted with me and other teenagers, my ex's dad who was like 50 would ask me really personal and overly sexual questions. They would constantly make really immature and crude comments and jokes mostly toilet jokes or comments of a sexual nature.
    When his parents where together in public or even just in the house with us present, they where very overly affectionate with each other, my exs dad was constantly touching his wife, either grabbing her back side, rubbing her arms or legs or holding onto the back of her neck, he seems to always be touching her and sitting or standing right next to her. They seemed overly close and attached to one another while behind the scenes their marriage was falling apart.

    One night I had stayed over with my boyfriend, he went to work early the next morning and I stayed in bed, I was later awoken by the sound of his parents screaming at each other and his mother breaking down at his father for 'pressuring her into sexual acts she didnt want to do'.
    As their marriage was breaking down they turned to their childrens friends for support, they told their teenage childrens friends about the problems in their marriage, going into details about their troubled sex life. His mother 'went missing' for a couple of days and it turned out she was staying in the house of one of my ex's teenage friends whose parents had gone away for a week.
    She went to him for advice on her marriage.

    Not only this but they had two young daughters, one was 15, she somehow met an older man from another county and decided she wanted to be with him, her parents allowed her to drop out of school and move 4 hours away from home to go and live with her new boyfriend who was in his late 20's.

    did your parents know you were involved with someone from such a strange family ?


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,390 ✭✭✭Airyfairy12


    Mad_maxx wrote: »
    did your parents know you were involved with someone from such a strange family ?

    Lol yes but then my family was quite dysfunctional too


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,948 ✭✭✭Hangdogroad


    This very weird family live across the road from my other half. It's hard to say how many of them are actually living in the house because a few of them seem to live elsewhere but choose to spend pretty much all day , every day at this house. For instance one of the daughters who's probably late 20s and her husband who have two young children arrive in the morning and only go away in late evening. Their day is mostly spent standing outside the house smoking. In fact this is what pretty much most of them do. All, and I mean all of this family come across like they have learning difficulties. A teenage daughter used to spend literally hours outside the house holding up an iPad and bopping madly to something shes watching on it, thankfully she seems to have stopped this in recent months. They're unavoidable as their house directly faces hers and every time you glance out the window theres a bunch of them standing outside smoking.


  • Registered Users Posts: 624 ✭✭✭COVID


    When I was 16 I went out with a boy who was the same age as me but had a really weird family. The mother quit her job and the dad was a bit of a del boy, he didnt work but was obsessed with money and constantly talked about how he was going to be a millionaire. He would take out loans of 10k and spend it all on a pile of rubbish that he thought he could sell for thousands. They had a shed full of random crap from bar stools, broken hotel drink fridges from the time he said he was going to open a hotel (which never happened) and invested thousands into random tables & chairs and furniture. He had a pile of pictures that he was sure would be worth millions, he bought them for 500 euro, they were chewed up and pissed on by rats.
    So they often had their electricity turned off, the house was freezing because they couldnt afford heating, they had no house phone because it got shut off and regularly had no food in the house. I called over one time and seen them all sitting in the kitchen eating gone off eggs as they had no other food.

    His parents treated him and his siblings like friends rather than their children. They would drink with them and their friends and hang out with them. Neither of them had any friends their own age.
    They would let their kids have house parties, invite loads of teenagers to the house to get drunk and take drugs.

    What was really strange was how they interacted with me and other teenagers, my ex's dad who was like 50 would ask me really personal and overly sexual questions. They would constantly make really immature and crude comments and jokes mostly toilet jokes or comments of a sexual nature.
    When his parents where together in public or even just in the house with us present, they where very overly affectionate with each other, my exs dad was constantly touching his wife, either grabbing her back side, rubbing her arms or legs or holding onto the back of her neck, he seems to always be touching her and sitting or standing right next to her. They seemed overly close and attached to one another while behind the scenes their marriage was falling apart.

    One night I had stayed over with my boyfriend, he went to work early the next morning and I stayed in bed, I was later awoken by the sound of his parents screaming at each other and his mother breaking down at his father for 'pressuring her into sexual acts she didnt want to do'.
    As their marriage was breaking down they turned to their childrens friends for support, they told their teenage childrens friends about the problems in their marriage, going into details about their troubled sex life. His mother 'went missing' for a couple of days and it turned out she was staying in the house of one of my ex's teenage friends whose parents had gone away for a week.
    She went to him for advice on her marriage.

    Not only this but they had two young daughters, one was 15, she somehow met an older man from another county and decided she wanted to be with him, her parents allowed her to drop out of school and move 4 hours away from home to go and live with her new boyfriend who was in his late 20's.

    Did all this happen in Gloucester, and were the parents called Fred and Rose?


  • Registered Users Posts: 13,505 ✭✭✭✭Mad_maxx


    COVID wrote: »
    Did all this happen in Gloucester, and were the parents called Fred and Rose?

    she said dysfunctional , not evil


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  • Registered Users Posts: 350 ✭✭Elwood_Blues


    My parents won't talk to each other for months on end. They live with each other, they go about their daily lives, my mum cooks and cleans for him but they seem more content when they're fighting.

    The record has been two years without talking to each other but that could be beaten in January. They've been this way since I can remember and I'm nearing mid life.

    Always thought this was normal behavior until I met my first girlfriends parents.


  • Registered Users Posts: 13,505 ✭✭✭✭Mad_maxx


    My parents won't talk to each other for months on end. They live with each other, they go about their daily lives, my mum cooks and cleans for him but they seem more content when they're fighting.

    The record has been two years without talking to each other but that could be beaten in January. They've been this way since I can remember and I'm nearing mid life.

    Always thought this was normal behavior until I met my first girlfriends parents.

    my late father ( twenty years deceased ) simply laughed whenever my mother or any of us protested about anything , he was a strange man , never really got angry but was content to completely take his wife for granted , as well as his children

    despite being relatively well off , we grew up in a dump of a house belonging to my uncle who got it off an uncle of his and then emigrated to australia , we lived in this shack until i was fourteen with no central heating , my father would much prefer invest money in growing his business , he more or less only slept there as he was working all of the time , he could easily have afforded to build a brand new bungalow at any time during the late seventies or the eighties as we lived in the countryside and sites were no more than 5 k

    eventually he did build a house in the early nineties but that was more because his father died and his mother was alone so he built on an extension to her house

    not perhaps stereotypically dysfunctional or the stuff of tales but i view it as such


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,948 ✭✭✭Hangdogroad


    Our family were I suppose weird in that we never went on holidays (would be talking the 80s). Neither of my parents were remotely interested in foreign travel so we never went. They only brought us to the cinema as children once and we didn't get a house phone till the late 90s. I invited two lads from school back home when I was about eight and my mother nearly had a fit.


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,810 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    When I was 16 I went out with a boy who was the same age as me but had a really weird family. The mother quit her job and the dad was a bit of a del boy, he didnt work but was obsessed with money and constantly talked about how he was going to be a millionaire. He would take out loans of 10k and spend it all on a pile of rubbish that he thought he could sell for thousands. They had a shed full of random crap from bar stools, broken hotel drink fridges from the time he said he was going to open a hotel (which never happened) and invested thousands into random tables & chairs and furniture. He had a pile of pictures that he was sure would be worth millions, he bought them for 500 euro, they were chewed up and pissed on by rats.
    So they often had their electricity turned off, the house was freezing because they couldnt afford heating, they had no house phone because it got shut off and regularly had no food in the house. I called over one time and seen them all sitting in the kitchen eating gone off eggs as they had no other food.

    His parents treated him and his siblings like friends rather than their children. They would drink with them and their friends and hang out with them. Neither of them had any friends their own age.
    They would let their kids have house parties, invite loads of teenagers to the house to get drunk and take drugs.

    What was really strange was how they interacted with me and other teenagers, my ex's dad who was like 50 would ask me really personal and overly sexual questions. They would constantly make really immature and crude comments and jokes mostly toilet jokes or comments of a sexual nature.
    When his parents where together in public or even just in the house with us present, they where very overly affectionate with each other, my exs dad was constantly touching his wife, either grabbing her back side, rubbing her arms or legs or holding onto the back of her neck, he seems to always be touching her and sitting or standing right next to her. They seemed overly close and attached to one another while behind the scenes their marriage was falling apart.

    One night I had stayed over with my boyfriend, he went to work early the next morning and I stayed in bed, I was later awoken by the sound of his parents screaming at each other and his mother breaking down at his father for 'pressuring her into sexual acts she didnt want to do'.
    As their marriage was breaking down they turned to their childrens friends for support, they told their teenage childrens friends about the problems in their marriage, going into details about their troubled sex life. His mother 'went missing' for a couple of days and it turned out she was staying in the house of one of my ex's teenage friends whose parents had gone away for a week.
    She went to him for advice on her marriage.

    Not only this but they had two young daughters, one was 15, she somehow met an older man from another county and decided she wanted to be with him, her parents allowed her to drop out of school and move 4 hours away from home to go and live with her new boyfriend who was in his late 20's.

    Good jaysus!!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,315 ✭✭✭Sam Hain


    When I was 16 I went out with a boy who was the same age as me but had a really weird family. The mother quit her job and the dad was a bit of a del boy, he didnt work but was obsessed with money and constantly talked about how he was going to be a millionaire. He would take out loans of 10k and spend it all on a pile of rubbish that he thought he could sell for thousands. They had a shed full of random crap from bar stools, broken hotel drink fridges from the time he said he was going to open a hotel (which never happened) and invested thousands into random tables & chairs and furniture. He had a pile of pictures that he was sure would be worth millions, he bought them for 500 euro, they were chewed up and pissed on by rats.
    So they often had their electricity turned off, the house was freezing because they couldnt afford heating, they had no house phone because it got shut off and regularly had no food in the house. I called over one time and seen them all sitting in the kitchen eating gone off eggs as they had no other food.

    His parents treated him and his siblings like friends rather than their children. They would drink with them and their friends and hang out with them. Neither of them had any friends their own age.
    They would let their kids have house parties, invite loads of teenagers to the house to get drunk and take drugs.

    What was really strange was how they interacted with me and other teenagers, my ex's dad who was like 50 would ask me really personal and overly sexual questions. They would constantly make really immature and crude comments and jokes mostly toilet jokes or comments of a sexual nature.
    When his parents where together in public or even just in the house with us present, they where very overly affectionate with each other, my exs dad was constantly touching his wife, either grabbing her back side, rubbing her arms or legs or holding onto the back of her neck, he seems to always be touching her and sitting or standing right next to her. They seemed overly close and attached to one another while behind the scenes their marriage was falling apart.

    One night I had stayed over with my boyfriend, he went to work early the next morning and I stayed in bed, I was later awoken by the sound of his parents screaming at each other and his mother breaking down at his father for 'pressuring her into sexual acts she didnt want to do'.
    As their marriage was breaking down they turned to their childrens friends for support, they told their teenage childrens friends about the problems in their marriage, going into details about their troubled sex life. His mother 'went missing' for a couple of days and it turned out she was staying in the house of one of my ex's teenage friends whose parents had gone away for a week.
    She went to him for advice on her marriage.


    Not only this but they had two young daughters, one was 15, she somehow met an older man from another county and decided she wanted to be with him, her parents allowed her to drop out of school and move 4 hours away from home to go and live with her new boyfriend who was in his late 20's.

    I'd say the "advice" was good and deep.


  • Registered Users Posts: 403 ✭✭E mac


    When I was 16 I went out with a boy who was the same age as me but had a really weird family. The mother quit her job and the dad was a bit of a del boy, he didnt work but was obsessed with money and constantly talked about how he was going to be a millionaire. He would take out loans of 10k and spend it all on a pile of rubbish that he thought he could sell for thousands. They had a shed full of random crap from bar stools, broken hotel drink fridges from the time he said he was going to open a hotel (which never happened) and invested thousands into random tables & chairs and furniture. He had a pile of pictures that he was sure would be worth millions, he bought them for 500 euro, they were chewed up and pissed on by rats.
    So they often had their electricity turned off, the house was freezing because they couldnt afford heating, they had no house phone because it got shut off and regularly had no food in the house. I called over one time and seen them all sitting in the kitchen eating gone off eggs as they had no other food.

    His parents treated him and his siblings like friends rather than their children. They would drink with them and their friends and hang out with them. Neither of them had any friends their own age.
    They would let their kids have house parties, invite loads of teenagers to the house to get drunk and take drugs.

    What was really strange was how they interacted with me and other teenagers, my ex's dad who was like 50 would ask me really personal and overly sexual questions. They would constantly make really immature and crude comments and jokes mostly toilet jokes or comments of a sexual nature.
    When his parents where together in public or even just in the house with us present, they where very overly affectionate with each other, my exs dad was constantly touching his wife, either grabbing her back side, rubbing her arms or legs or holding onto the back of her neck, he seems to always be touching her and sitting or standing right next to her. They seemed overly close and attached to one another while behind the scenes their marriage was falling apart.

    One night I had stayed over with my boyfriend, he went to work early the next morning and I stayed in bed, I was later awoken by the sound of his parents screaming at each other and his mother breaking down at his father for 'pressuring her into sexual acts she didnt want to do'.
    As their marriage was breaking down they turned to their childrens friends for support, they told their teenage childrens friends about the problems in their marriage, going into details about their troubled sex life. His mother 'went missing' for a couple of days and it turned out she was staying in the house of one of my ex's teenage friends whose parents had gone away for a week.
    She went to him for advice on her marriage.

    Not only this but they had two young daughters, one was 15, she somehow met an older man from another county and decided she wanted to be with him, her parents allowed her to drop out of school and move 4 hours away from home to go and live with her new boyfriend who was in his late 20's.


    Was that long ago? I'm kinda curious to know what's the current sitution!


  • Registered Users Posts: 24,170 ✭✭✭✭Sleepy


    Be honest: how many of ye read through this thread looking for your own family... :pac:


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,438 ✭✭✭Sgt Hartman


    One old neighbour of mine stabbed his own brother in a row over inheritance of the family home not too long after their Dad died. Greed really brings out the very worst in people.

    There's another family I lived pretty close to for a while. I could write a book on how dysfunctional they were. One of them murdered a barman down an alleyway back in the late 90's. His psychopathic nephew is also currently locked up for murder.


  • Registered Users Posts: 658 ✭✭✭MIRMIR82


    Our family were I suppose weird in that we never went on holidays (would be talking the 80s). Neither of my parents were remotely interested in foreign travel so we never went. They only brought us to the cinema as children once and we didn't get a house phone till the late 90s. I invited two lads from school back home when I was about eight and my mother nearly had a fit.

    That sounds like a normal 80's irish childhood to me bar your mam going mad over you bringing friends home.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,752 ✭✭✭irishguitarlad


    My own parents are fúcked up. My mother got knocked up by my father who by all accounts spent all his money on booze, fags and never held down a job. Then both my grandparents came together and decided that they should marry, this is back in the 80s in Kerry. I'd say my mother and father also wanted to marry because of tradition/catholic guilt.

    They had my brother and then me. When my mother was in hospital when she had me, my father abused physically and mentally my brother who was only 6. He abused all of us through the years, i remember him throwing things at my mother, pushing her, calling her names, threatening her with a massive knife, punching me into the head, saying i wish you were never born and so on. Just constant physical and mental abuse. He spent all our money as well on cigarettes and if he didn't get them he'd go bat **** crazy breaking things.

    I got out a few years back thankfully but my mom is still with him and she wont leave him. I can't understand It, i put It down to religion and tradition and that's why she stays with him. They have **** all money, my father spends 100 euro a week on cigarettes and none of them work. My father stopped working when i was 15, I'm 30 now. Anyways in spite of all this I still don't hate them because they're my parents. It's a bit like the lottery, you can get great parents or really shítty ones. Btw this is just scratching the surface, I could write books about them.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 40 galway_lad


    Our family were I suppose weird in that we never went on holidays (would be talking the 80s). Neither of my parents were remotely interested in foreign travel so we never went.

    Pretty normal in the 80s tbh.

    A friend's parents seem to really hate each other. They had a big fallout with each other last Christmas over the gifts received from my friend. Feelings were that the gifts were out of whack with each other and showed a preference on the child's behalf. It led to the mother taking the nearly cooked turkey from the oven and throwing it in the wheelie bin.

    They've made it clear to my friend that they have separate wills and no money should go to each other on death (not sure how that could stand up?!).

    Frequent public shouting matches. Still they have 40 or so years on the marriage clock


  • Registered Users Posts: 13,337 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    I have a long-running argument with my Father. He says you can't taste the milk in tea. It'll come up again over the Christmas when he wants a cuppa and insists that there be milk in it. I fear this will tear the family apart.


  • Registered Users Posts: 13,064 ✭✭✭✭Purple Mountain


    jmlad2020 wrote: »
    Little Miss Sunshine was on TG4 anocht. The main story revolves around an extremely dysfunctional family... got me thinking that every family have some degree of dysfunction and eccentricity to them, but some do have extremely odd dynamics .. Joseph Fritzel etc. But that's too sick for this.

    Really interested in hearing some of the 'oddest' families you have come across in your time, preferably local to your area, without naming anyone of course.

    I actually think the family in Little Miss Sunshine are normal enough bar a few quirks.

    To thine own self be true



  • Registered Users Posts: 7,719 ✭✭✭YellowLead


    My parents won't talk to each other for months on end. They live with each other, they go about their daily lives, my mum cooks and cleans for him but they seem more content when they're fighting.

    The record has been two years without talking to each other but that could be beaten in January. They've been this way since I can remember and I'm nearing mid life.

    Always thought this was normal behavior until I met my first girlfriends parents.

    My parents were a bit like that (my father has since passed away). Only conversation to be had was essential talk of what time the dinner would be or what bill needed to be paid. No chit chat of any kind, ever. And the essential chat was gruff.


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,851 ✭✭✭CoBo55


    kowloon wrote: »
    I have a long-running argument with my Father. He says you can't taste the milk in tea. It'll come up again over the Christmas when he wants a cuppa and insists that there be milk in it. I fear this will tear the family apart.

    Bring it to moyross they'd rob the milk out of your tea there.


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