Need advice about notice

Needadviceanon

Hi, I’m looking for advice about my notice period. I’ve only been with this company for a brief period. When I took this position I thought it would be the start of my career, but it’s slowly been wrecking my mental health.

I don’t want to say where exactly I’m working but I am working with individuals who has difficulties and challenges.

I am so scared to go to work. I’m scared of being hurt or attacked (nothing has happened to me yet thankfully, but there’s been others attacked since I started)

I know I signed up for this but it’s just not what I expected. All I do on my days off is cry and stay in bed. I don’t even recognise the person I’ve become.

At this stage I need to leave more than I want to leave. I’ve spoke to my partner about it and he fully supports me, as he’s worried about me. We also moved into a new place which is in the middle of nowhere and it’s very isolating.

Our landlord is amazing and has said we can get our deposit back if we give him a month notice. I want to move home to my moms for a while just to sort myself out and my boyfriend wants to stay here to ensure we don’t lose the deposit.

But I’m stuck with a months notice for work. The thoughts of going back sends me into a panic and I don’t know what to do. I want to leave immediately but I don’t want to get in trouble for breaking contract.

I’ve thought about going to one of my managers and explaining, hoping they’ll understand but they’re very unapproachable and just don’t seem to care about the safety and wellbeing of the staff.

All in all I made a huge mistake taking this job, but at the time I thought I wanted a career in this sector and didn’t fully understand the risks and what the job entails.

I just can’t do this anymore.

Smee_Again

Go in and explain to your manager and then leave. They won't pursue you for breach of contract so you have nothing to worry about as you're hardly going to be asking them for a reference in the future.

Samuel T. Cogley

https://www.workplacerelations.ie/en/what_you_should_know/ending%20the%20employment%20relationship/minimum%20notice/

Give the minimum, that may be no notice at all, but I'd still give a week and get your GP to sign you off sick. VideoDoc or similar should be still taking appointments.

Mrs OBumble

Go to a GP, you will be signed out sick straight away.

Needadviceanon

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Go to a GP, you will be signed out sick straight away.

Thank you for your reply!

So be signed out sick first and then hand in notice?

Needadviceanon

Samuel T. Cogley wrote: »

Give the minimum, that may be no notice at all, but I'd still give a week and get your GP to sign you off sick. VideoDoc or similar should be still taking appointments.

Thank you for your reply! I thought that if you’ve a notice laid out in a contract that this overrules anything else?

Needadviceanon

Smee_Again wrote: »

Go in and explain to your manager and then leave. They won't pursue you for breach of contract so you have nothing to worry about as you're hardly going to be asking them for a reference in the future.

Thanks for your reply!

I’m honestly scared to go into my manager. It’s the type of work environment where nothing is secret. I wouldn’t even be out the door and all the staff would know I was struggling.

Samuel T. Cogley

Needadviceanon wrote: »

Thank you for your reply! I thought that if you’ve a notice laid out in a contract that this overrules anything else?

I'd be dubious simple contract could override the legislation but IANAL. What I can tell you is having left a few jobs in my time, had people in my social circle leave jobs and managed fairly large teams where people left jobs (not always because of me :pac: ), I have never ever had direct experience of an employer going after anyone for anything other than deducting any Annual Leave taken over their entitlement.

eurokev

No need to be putting yourself through any of this mental stress. Just tell your manager of your struggles and leave.

It's unfortunate on the manager/company but you can't be putting yourself through what you are going through.

Call your manager now and let him know you are not able to keep working there

Needadviceanon

Samuel T. Cogley wrote: »

I'd be dubious simple contract could override the legislation but IANAL. What I can tell you is having left a few jobs in my time, had people in my social circle leave jobs and managed fairly large teams where people left jobs, I have never ever had direct experience of an employer going after anyone for anything other than deducting any Annual Leave taken over their entitlement.

Thank you so much! I think I’m just nervous to leave as I haven’t been there long. Scared of what people will say, but I know it’s what best for me.

Thanks for your advice!

Smee_Again

Needadviceanon wrote: »

Thanks for your reply!

I’m honestly scared to go into my manager. It’s the type of work environment where nothing is secret. I wouldn’t even be out the door and all the staff would know I was struggling.

The other advice above to speak to a doctor is better than mine, but just to address this do you care? If you're leaving what does it matter what people say about you when you're gone.

Focus on getting better, not what former colleagues are saying about you.

myshirt

Needadviceanon wrote: »

Thanks for your reply!

I’m honestly scared to go into my manager. It’s the type of work environment where nothing is secret. I wouldn’t even be out the door and all the staff would know I was struggling.

Who gives a sh't?

Focus on yourself and not the perception others have of you. Take a deep breath and tell them firmly you are leaving. Tell them why. And don't apologise. Sounds like hell on earth.

Say what you need to say, and go. It doesn't need to be confrontational. I'm assuming you are at a lower grade. Don't worry about it. Life goes on. No one is going to sue you.

I have a pen here and if you took it, technically you've met the standard of a criminal offence, but am I going to pursue you for it? No. You are what's called a straw man. No one will sue you. Take care of yourself.

Samuel T. Cogley

Needadviceanon wrote: »

Thank you so much! I think I’m just nervous to leave as I haven’t been there long. Scared of what people will say, but I know it’s what best for me.

Thanks for your advice!

TBH the vast majority will be sympathetic and / or realise the challenges faced. You may have a wanker manager, but that's usually the root of the problem and they can go and get...

Needadviceanon

eurokev wrote: »

No need to be putting yourself through any of this mental stress. Just tell your manager of your struggles and leave.

It's unfortunate on the manager/company but you can't be putting yourself through what you are going through.

Call your manager now and let him know you are not able to keep working there

Thank you for your advice!

I do feel awful for the manager because I would be putting them out but I just can’t anymore. And then I feel selfish as so many people have lost their jobs due to covid and I’m just going to willingly leave mine.

Samuel T. Cogley

Needadviceanon wrote: »

And then I feel selfish as so many people have lost their jobs due to covid and I’m just going to willingly leave mine.

Which creates a job for someone who may love it.

Needadviceanon

Smee_Again wrote: »

The other advice above to speak to a doctor is better than mine, but just to address this do you care? If you're leaving what does it matter what people say about you when you're gone.

Focus on getting better, not what former colleagues are saying about you.

I know I shouldn’t. Everything is just getting to me.

Again, thank you for the advice. I thought people would tell me i was being selfish when I posted this. Really means the world that people are being so nice

Needadviceanon

myshirt wrote: »

Who gives a sh't?

Focus on yourself and not the perception others have of you. Take a deep breath and tell them firmly you are leaving. Tell them why. And don't apologise. Sounds like hell on earth.

Say what you need to say, and go. It doesn't need to be confrontational. I'm assuming you are at a lower grade. Don't worry about it. Life goes on. No one is going to sue you.

I have a pen here and if you took it, technically you've met the standard of a criminal offence, but am I going to pursue you for it? No. You are what's called a straw man. No one will sue you. Take care of yourself.

Thank you for the reply and advice!

I’m a bit overwhelmed with how nice everyone is being.

I think I’m just going to go for it. I would rather be healthy and alive.

Thank you again!

Needadviceanon

Samuel T. Cogley wrote: »

TBH the vast majority will be sympathetic and / or realise the challenges faced. You may have a wanker manager, but that's usually the root of the problem and they can go and get...

Yeah, I hope people will understand. Think I’m just going to have to go for it and hope for the best!

Needadviceanon

Samuel T. Cogley wrote: »

Which creates a job for someone who may love it.

Very true, never thought of it like that

michael.dublin

absolutely NO job is worth losing you mental or physical health over. go to your doc get a sick note, and get out of that job right away, and dont look back, its your life you only have one, so take care of it.
i hope everything works out for you :-)

JustAThought

Needadviceanon wrote: »

Very true, never thought of it like that

OP - +1 for all the great advice here about it not being for you and your mental health and safety being so much more important. OP - I would hand in notice and NOT give a reason. You may be dogged by it later for future better roles and I wouldn’t have stress or mental health issues issues on my medical/work record - a good doctor will advise you. Also, I notice interviewing more and more companies including car insurance companies in the event of a claim are beginning to ask for access to your own doctors files or they will not interview you further OR process your claim. This INClUDES govt jobs in areas I would feel are irrelevant. So yes - get signed off immediately but have your doctor write a vague sick note and put chronic diarrohea & or flu or fatigue on your medical record - not stress. You will thank them in years to come.

I’m so sorry that your first job that you worked so hard for and pinned so many hopes on was such a bad experience. There are plenty of good and more caring managers and better roles out there - no need to be a victim of a toxic workplace - get out immediately, someone else will love that job or be able to manage the manager & situation better & you have a good long break to reset and find your happy place again.

Best of luck.
Your partner and LL sound like lovely people : )

Mrs OBumble

Needadviceanon wrote: »

Thank you for your reply!

So be signed out sick first and then hand in notice?

Be signed out sick and then hand in your resignation. No need to work any notice; it's not safe for you or for the clients to have you there.

Best of luck finding a better fit job for your skills.