Only now realising its my crutch

Openmind2020

Without going into detail last couple years have been rough and i come home every night from work and without even thinkin its straight onto the beer or wine
Even now im sayin so what , no harm ,i get up go to work pay my bills etc
Only lately im saying i dont even enjoy it whats the point but i dunno what else to do , obviously i do it to change my mood and honestly few weeks ago i was like fk that im sick of it but my god i couldnt sleep i looked like s!it the next day ! Was like my body was fighting me tellin me i was better off having a few beers , my question is if i believe i dont really have an addiction im just a bit lonely should i bother looking for a group or help ? Im so confused , didnt drink all week and felt like crap so tonight im on vodka which i cannot stand,but ill sleep all night

Thelonious Monk

You couldn't sleep because you usually knock yourself out with booze. When you stop drinking it can take weeks to be able to sleep properly, so you just have to suffer through it until you get a proper routine going.

Openmind2020

Im actually mortified i didnt work that out myself , really ,i just kept sayin sure my job is stressfull i need a drink to relax , thank you

Beagslife

Have a read of Jason Vale's - Kick the Drink Easily

It could change your Life. Or it might just allow you to look at certain things differently. Well worth a read anyway.

Good luck with your journey.

prishtinaboy99

Openmind2020 wrote: »

Im actually mortified i didnt work that out myself , really ,i just kept sayin sure my job is stressfull i need a drink to relax , thank you

It is easy to blame everything in life for reasons why we drink. Alcoholism is the only disease that tells us we are fine.

tdf7187

prishtinaboy99 wrote: »

It is easy to blame everything in life for reasons why we drink. Alcoholism is the only disease that tells us we are fine.

Yes. I also reckon it is the only self-diagnosed disease. By which I mean that the alcoholic, or person with alcoholic use disorder, to use the PC expression, is unlikely to make any changes until they acknowledge they have an issue.

ron29

Openmind2020 wrote: »

Without going into detail last couple years have been rough and i come home every night from work and without even thinkin its straight onto the beer or wine
Even now im sayin so what , no harm ,i get up go to work pay my bills etc
Only lately im saying i dont even enjoy it whats the point but i dunno what else to do , obviously i do it to change my mood and honestly few weeks ago i was like fk that im sick of it but my god i couldnt sleep i looked like s!it the next day ! Was like my body was fighting me tellin me i was better off having a few beers , my question is if i believe i dont really have an addiction im just a bit lonely should i bother looking for a group or help ? Im so confused , didnt drink all week and felt like crap so tonight im on vodka which i cannot stand,but ill sleep all night

If your posting asking if you have a problem then general consensus would be you have a problem. Getting up paying bills etc is what 99percent of people with alcohol problems do and they use it to justify their alcohol abuse. If you don't have a problem give it up for six months. Alternatively attend an online or in person AA or Smart recovery meeting. See if you identify with anyone who speaks. If you do you're in the right place. It's not easy to quit alcohol but its the best thing I ever did.