finding grave plot

Faolchu

So little family history:

My father was born in the 1932. He was raised by his grandparents and did not know his parents. he had one sister and she lived in the UK and she died in 1957 or 59, cant remember but i have a copy of the internment record. just before my confirmation in the mid 80s my father attended an cousins funeral and found out that his sister was in fact his birth mother. so he was born in good old catholic Ireland outside wedlock in the 1930s. knowing what we all know now about how wonderfully these women were treated by the church his grandparents did the right thing to protect their daughter.



fast forward 40 years and I attempt to find my grandmothers grave. I speak to my mother who tells me what cemetery it is in (the one in finglas village in dublin under the pedestrian bridge). I spend 2 full days walking the cemetery and there's not a single grave stone with her name on it. there is a sign saying call to this house for information on the cemetery.


So I call in and the guy that answers the door invites me in and offers me a tea. turns out he is use to people calling looking for help, his father was the caretaker in the cemetery before him and while he himself is retired he still looks after it. he has copies of all the old grave registers and we spend an hour or two leaving through them. We find her name, Dob, Occupation (house cleaner) and the year she died. but here's the kicker there's no plot number. the guy suggests I contact the local council as they are responsible for the place.I contact the local parish and they pretty much tell me to p1ss off. apparently the local parish doesn't keep records of burials.I've contacted the local council and they cant find any record, i kept going back and forth with them for months and nothing.





So long shot is there anyone out there in internet land that might be able to help? any other source of info i could look at (all i have is here name dob and date of death and the cemetery name) that might allow me to find out where she is and put a marker on her final resting place so that at least someone knows she existed?

VirginiaB

I sympathize with your search and hope you find your answer. A sister turning out to be the mother is a common occurrence in all cultures that frown on babies born outside marriage, not limited to Ireland or to Catholics. And most people who have died do not have gravestones so your situation is more the rule. Also churches typically do not keep death and burial records so that too is the rule rather than the exception.

On the positive side, you seem to have a lot of information. Do you know what organization was in charge of the cemetery at the time of your grandmother's death? Not today but then? And where those records, if any, might be? Could you find out who the undertaker was and see if they still have records? Could you find other relatives in that cemetery? Plots usually have multiple graves and she might be in a family plot.

It could also be helpful to find longtime local residents. They are often a font of knowledge. If you mentioned the family name, they might have clues. Have you looked for an obituary? If one was published, it could also have a clue.

If worse came to worst and you don't find it, you could arrange a memorial plaque with her name and dates. The very best of luck to you.

Faolchu

thanks so much for the info. I knew it was practice here to sweep stuff under the carpet so to speak, i hadnt realized it was so wide spread.



based off the one internment record I did have I've managed to find what i think is her birth registration, death registration and a record of her that matches with the 1911 census. so I have all her siblings from that time also. I've reached out to the 2 undertakers currently in Finglas village and also one in cabra as her address at the time of death was carnlough road which is in cabra. god knows if they have any records maybe they will or maybe they can give me a nudge in the right direction. the guy that looks after the cemetery said it was all looked after by dublin city council. but they're about as useful as tits on a bull.



My mother thinks she is buried with someone else, and i have a rough location in the graveyard itself. so I may head over there and get the info from his headstone and start a search back on that also to see if there is a family link other than just surname. based on the census info I have its not a sibling but could be an uncle maybe.







this all comes from an incident when i was a teenager. My father went to get his passport renewed when he was in his 60s and was told he did not exist. he had paid taxes all his life, had driving licenses and a previous passport but now suddenly when he needed a birth cert there was none to be found. I always found that sad and it always stuck with me that my father kind of accepted it and initially didnt kick up a fuss over it. Especially given one of the life lessons he taught me was there will come a tome when you will need to just kick a little and push back no matter what you are told. yet he was doing the exact opposite in this case.

Hermy

Hi Faolchu,

Have you tried looking for a newspaper death notice, obituary or anniversary notice which may mention other relatives?

I have access to the Irish News Archive if you want me to check for you.

Faolchu

that would be great. I'll send you a pm

Faolchu

Hermy wrote: »

Hi Faolchu,

Have you tried looking for a newspaper death notice, obituary or anniversary notice which may mention other relatives?

I have access to the Irish News Archive if you want me to check for you.

massive thanks for the help. in the space of 20 minutes you have given me closure. looks like the info I found was wrong but based on what I you found the right person. time to get the record updated in the internment file and also look at getting some sort of marker for. inknow where that other grave is, I though it was an uncle but it looks like itsbher father.

Three More Big Sleeps

Faolchu wrote: »

... in the space of 20 minutes you have given me closure...

Well, that's brought an entirely unexpected grin to my face Fair play, Hermy, and delighted for you, Faolchu. God speed.

Surreptitious

Glad you get help

Faolchu

super excited to have this info. now to find out more about Lawrence and his family.

Hermy

Faolchu wrote: »

massive thanks for the help. in the space of 20 minutes you have given me closure. looks like the info I found was wrong but based on what I you found the right person. time to get the record updated in the internment file and also look at getting some sort of marker for. inknow where that other grave is, I though it was an uncle but it looks like itsbher father.

Delighted to read this.

The information age is a truly wonderful thing!