Why do some people think it's okay to leave others on read?

paleoperson

By being "left on read" I mean the other person has clearly read your message that is clearly requiring a response and just doesn't give one. Another thing is specifically saying they will give you a call at a certain time and don't do it.

I think it's one of the highest forms of disrespect possible and it's frustrating as well. There is always a better way of doing things. I honestly think it's more of a power trip for them than anything else.

It'd be like the real life equivalent of if you spotted someone you knew and said hello and they simply kept looking away as if they didn't even know you. It's just the senselessness of it, to not even acknowledge the person.

.anon.

Just letting you know I've read this thread and might come back and write a proper reply later.

Ubbquittious

I do it all the time. Pissed off a few people with it but I think 'ah I'll reply to that in a minute' then that minute becomes an hour, a day, sometimes longer. People do it to me as well but I'm not bothered. They are probably busy and I'm glad they're not glued to their phone all day replying to messages like sheep.


Tis the real life equivelant of opening your letter box, plonking all the letters on the kitchen table and fecking off to do a bit of chainsawing before it gets dark

accensi0n

Never happens to me, maybe they just don't like you?

.anon.

Ubbquittious wrote: »

Tis the real life equivelant of opening your letter box, plonking all the letters on the kitchen table and fecking off

Yeah, exactl...

Ubbquittious wrote:

to do a bit of chainsawing before it gets dark

What?

Quantum Erasure

✓✓

Panthro

Best thing you can do OP is leave it 20mins then message again with "Hello??"

People love that.

YFlyer

He does give one.

dxhound2005

Panthro wrote: »

Best thing you can do OP is leave it 20mins then message again with "Hello??"

People love that.

Hello, I have a chainsaw.

Smee_Again

Probably because they don’t like you.

PsychoPete

I'll keep doing it until they take the hint to not message me

JasonStatham

paleoperson wrote: »

By being "left on read" I mean the other person has clearly read your message that is clearly requiring a response and just doesn't give one. Another thing is specifically saying they will give you a call at a certain time and don't do it.

I think it's one of the highest forms of disrespect possible and it's frustrating as well. There is always a better way of doing things. I honestly think it's more of a power trip for them than anything else.

It'd be like the real life equivalent of if you spotted someone you knew and said hello and they simply kept looking away as if they didn't even know you. It's just the senselessness of it, to not even acknowledge the person.

Who's the girl?

Insect Overlord

Hi.

WB x x x

.anon.

Panthro wrote: »

Best thing you can do OP is leave it 20mins then message again with "Hello??"

People love that.

Followed by:

"?"

o1s1n

Jaysus, needy people do my head in.

OP, if someone doesn't reply, they don't want to reply.

I have conversations with some of my friends that might be one message every few days in response to something, we get to it when we get to it.

Everyone had a million things going on. On a scale of things, text/WhatsApp messages are generally incredibly unimportant.

Gregor Samsa

If you want an instant reply from someone, talk to them in person or call them.

If you want them to deal with whatever the subject is at their leisure, text, message, email or write to them.

Greyfox

paleoperson wrote: »

By being "left on read" I mean the other person has clearly read your message that is clearly requiring a response and just doesn't give one.

Because it is ok. If people have more important things to do then reply to you thats life, get over it. They could be genuinely busy and then they could forget about your message.

Mr Meanor

paleoperson wrote: »

By being "left on read" I mean the other person has clearly read your message that is clearly requiring a response and just doesn't give one. Another thing is specifically saying they will give you a call at a certain time and don't do it.

I think it's one of the highest forms of disrespect possible and it's frustrating as well. There is always a better way of doing things. I honestly think it's more of a power trip for them than anything else.

It'd be like the real life equivalent of if you spotted someone you knew and said hello and they simply kept looking away as if they didn't even know you. It's just the senselessness of it, to not even acknowledge the person.

I'm reading insecurity.

dxhound2005

The OP has gone silent on us.

You reply as and when suits you.

Ubbquittious

.anon. wrote: »

Yeah, exactl...



What?

Don't want to be out chainsawing in the dark. Have to make use of the daylight. Messages can wait till dark

andekwarhola

People get distracted and can't always answer immediately and then sometimes they can forget.

Social media has really exacerbated instant gratification and needless anxiety about the ebb and flow of normal human interaction.

Plus so much of my Whatsapp interaction is just forwarding stuff (not criticizing) so it doesn't always warrant a reply.

That said, I have a good friend that lives overseas and I basically ignore about 75% of his Whatsapp messages as he sends 'news dump' messages about politics at least once or twice a day. I'd reply to a few of them but mostly not. I'd answer anything personal though.

He doesn't seem to mind (as he keeps sending them) and I still love the guy so thankfully he's not thin-skinned.

Your Face

I tend not to be quick when replying to friends who are hard work.

Church on Tuesday

dxhound2005 wrote: »

The OP has gone silent on us.

I guess we've been ghosted.

andekwarhola

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

I guess we've been ghosted.

The blue tick is watching. Judging. Waiting.

Quantum Erasure

dxhound2005 wrote: »

The OP has gone silent on us.

I didn't see that coming, well played OP, well played

ILoveYourVibes

It has never even occurred to me that this is not ok.

Damn ...actually op you are right ..imma rude bitch!

Church on Tuesday

andekwarhola wrote: »

The blue tick is watching. Judging. Waiting.

I thought it was the One.

Strumms

o1s1n wrote: »

Jaysus, needy people do my head in.

OP, if someone doesn't reply, they don't want to reply.

I have conversations with some of my friends that might be one message every few days in response to something, we get to it when we get to it.

Everyone had a million things going on. On a scale of things, text/WhatsApp messages are generally incredibly unimportant.

I’ve no issue if somebody doesn’t reply immediately but.....If someone doesn’t reply habitually then as I have done I just stop replying to them... an older work colleague was the one who was like that, with everyone... he’d be onto you in a heartbeat on WhatsApp looking for a shift swap, or the inside track on a problem or advice... but if you needed the same.. nothing, then maybe a week later.. ” ohh I saw that message, sorry no can do” he was eventually almost ghosted by every colleague.... he was a mè feiner 100%...:who eventually backed himself into a corner.

Anyone who I don’t want speak to I block, otherwise I just reply in as timely a fashion as I can. It’s just good manners and being respectful, that courtesy only gets removed when it is not reciprocated.

Foweva Awone

No one owes you an immediate reply just because they know that you can see that they've read your message.

Read receipts on professional emails are one of my personal bugbears. It's none of your business when I read your email, I never allow the read response to send.

As for personal conversations, if you need an immediate reply, ring. Otherwise the person will probably reply eventually if they want to.

Insect Overlord

dxhound2005 wrote: »

The OP has gone silent on us.

The usual craic with this fella...

retro:electro

All my WhatsApps usually just consist of a series of random shlte forwarded onto each other. I can’t really be dealing with the whole “hi how are you *insert life update here*” ‘messages. Those are usually the ones I “forget” to reply to

Ficheall

paleoperson wrote: »

By being "left on read" I mean the other person has clearly read your message that is clearly requiring a response and just doesn't give one. Another thing is specifically saying they will give you a call at a certain time and don't do it.

I think it's one of the highest forms of disrespect possible and it's frustrating as well. There is always a better way of doing things. I honestly think it's more of a power trip for them than anything else.

It'd be like the real life equivalent of if you spotted someone you knew and said hello and they simply kept looking away as if they didn't even know you. It's just the senselessness of it, to not even acknowledge the person.

You don't have conversations with many people, do you?

Jequ0n

I’m always amazed how much some people “need” others. Great to watch the insecurity grow with ever passing minute

Cee-Jay-Cee

OP probably because ‘Hi hun, any craic’ isn’t really that important of a question when your driving/working/sleeping/doing anything else at even remotely more interesting than tapping away on your phone screen to an inane question

o1s1n

Strumms wrote: »

I’ve no issue if somebody doesn’t reply immediately but.....If someone doesn’t reply habitually then as I have done I just stop replying to them... an older work colleague was the one who was like that, with everyone... he’d be onto you in a heartbeat on WhatsApp looking for a shift swap, or the inside track on a problem or advice... but if you needed the same.. nothing, then maybe a week later.. ” ohh I saw that message, sorry no can do” he was eventually almost ghosted by every colleague.... he was a mè feiner 100%...:who eventually backed himself into a corner.

Anyone who I don’t want speak to I block, otherwise I just reply in as timely a fashion as I can. It’s just good manners and being respectful, that courtesy only gets removed when it is not reciprocated.

I suppose if the message needs replying to quickly like your work colleague that's a little different and definitely good manners to reply to swiftly.

When it comes to general chit chat though, I don't think I ever really instantly reply to anyone. Certainly don't end up doing an actual chat where you're both instantly messaging back and forth, that drives me nuts and I just want out of it as quickly as possible!

I suppose it boils down to what you enjoy really, I love socialising in person but am not really into text chats, just find them really irritating. A lot of people don't really convey themselves over text particularly well which doesn't help matters.

I've one really good friend for example, have been mates for about 30 years now. Incredibly gregarious guy in person but constantly tries to initiate these text chats and when I respond, he gives the most inane 3-4 word replies. Completely pointless.

I dunno, maybe I'm just getting old and cranky. I also absolutely hate trying to type on touch screen phones so that probably just exacerbates the irritation :pac:

theological

paleoperson wrote: »

By being "left on read" I mean the other person has clearly read your message that is clearly requiring a response and just doesn't give one. Another thing is specifically saying they will give you a call at a certain time and don't do it.

I think it's one of the highest forms of disrespect possible and it's frustrating as well. There is always a better way of doing things. I honestly think it's more of a power trip for them than anything else.

It'd be like the real life equivalent of if you spotted someone you knew and said hello and they simply kept looking away as if they didn't even know you. It's just the senselessness of it, to not even acknowledge the person.

This is why I turn off read receipts on WhatsApp and other apps that do this.

I think expecting a reply straight away when I may be busy or I need some time to say something more meaningful is disrespectful to me.

People in the past used to wait weeks for correspondence to one another. It served them fine. I think the culture we live in when people get notifications every few minutes and expect the same from others is fundamentally unhealthy.

For the record. Saving some things for discussing for meeting in person (or on Skype or Zoom) is also okay and often beneficial.

sbsquarepants

Very rarely is anything so important that it requires immediate attention or an immediate response. If you've asked someone a question maybe they are undecided and will get back to you when they've made their minds up, or found out the answer? Maybe something happened in real life that distracted them and they forgot to get back to you. Who knows.... who really cares...they'll respond when they are ready, the world doesn't revolve around you!

The One Doctor

paleoperson wrote: »

By being "left on read" I mean the other person has clearly read your message that is clearly requiring a response and just doesn't give one. Another thing is specifically saying they will give you a call at a certain time and don't do it.

I think it's one of the highest forms of disrespect possible and it's frustrating as well. There is always a better way of doing things. I honestly think it's more of a power trip for them than anything else.

It'd be like the real life equivalent of if you spotted someone you knew and said hello and they simply kept looking away as if they didn't even know you. It's just the senselessness of it, to not even acknowledge the person.

They either saw the message and forgot to reply, or thought the answer was self-evident, or couldn't be arsed, or they're sick of you texting them.

Just call them instead of playing mind games with yourself.

The only time I text is when I know I'd be interrupting them.

sbsquarepants

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

OP probably because ‘Hi hun, any craic’ isn’t really that important of a question when your driving/working/sleeping/doing anything else at even remotely more interesting than tapping away on your phone screen to an inane question

My missus has this one particular friend, she lives alone. She'll whatsapp some inane shíte or other "how's things" or "any news" or something along those lines. Then a few minutes later, "did you get that" "is everything OK" - then she'll ring and get in a huff because no one is dead and yet she was still left waiting!



As i said she lives alone, we have 4 young kids - she just can't seem to grasp that there might be something more pressing going on in our house than typing out "grand" within a minute of her sending. It's narcissism pure and simple.

Feisar

.anon. wrote: »

Followed by:

"?"

Ugh, hate that. Usually done by emotionally unstable head-the-balls with daddy issues.

banie01

Because 2 grey ticks is better than having to reply to one awkward one?