The 2020 Christmas Cracker.

flanna01

Greetings Underlings.

So what a year it's been so far.. From the incoherent ramblings of Deontay Wilder, to the demise of the legendary Leo Santa Cruz..

The lack of boxing has sent many people here queer... Along with the coughing and spluttering, it's enough to send a man to the tavern to drown his sorrows..

But alas, that human right has been taken away from us (if you excuse Mick's shebeen down the alley). No longer can the punters of this forum indulge themselves in the very reason for their existence..

But fear thee not, for after a lot of soul searching and self reflection, I have decided to grace this forum once again, and bestow untold riches upon the wretches that have the grit and resolve to follow me...

Yes my little mince pies.. I can hereby announce that the legendry boxing investment Guru is back again...!! I have a 10/1 iron clad winner to share among the desperate, the deluded, the trodden upon, and yes, God help us, the dry....

Take notice my little fur balls.. Gather money and sell your furniture, do whatever it takes... The money express will be leaving within the week..

The 10/1 - 2020 Christmas Cracker will be posted within seven days.

The pay out comes before Christmas

Stay Tuned.........

The Boxing Investment Guru.

flanna01

Very quiet on here lately... The bars closing down obviously had a profound effect on most of ye..

During my last sortie among the decrepit and the inebriated of this forum, I instilled a sense of excitement and expectation to the many general layabouts here..

I intend to do the same again this Christmas.

I fully understand that being semi dried-out can be a traumatising experience too many, and indeed a new experience to more.. But I offer you a unique opportunity to multiply your fortunes ten fold.. Yes my little fur ball's - Ten Fold!!

I see some of the old school still inhabit this section, I expect you to bow respectfully when I post an update of the Christmas Cracker. I also see some new faces... Some strange names...?? I see you made it to the right spot anyway, never seen such skulduggery, wretchedness and too be frank, desperate chancers of questionable character, you'll fit in well here my friends.

For those that don't know me, you are truly privileged and blessed to make my acquaintance, pity I don't feel the same way about you, but we move on.. I have graced this forum for many a Christmas, bestowing riches and reward upon the brave. I expect nothing in return, and to be honest, I would have to scrub myself raw with carbolic soap should I have the misfortune of engaging with any of you personally...

However.. I like to help the downtrodden around the festive season, it makes great conversation whilst out shooting grouse. I also feel the extra burden of the public watering holes shutting down, it has inflicted more than enough pain on you and your red nosed comrades.. Never let it be said, that a Gentleman of land and culture, didn't offer a hand to the common herd.

So my little fur balls, it is with great Christmas spirit, that I can confirm today, that this years 10/1 winner will be posted next Friday.

Please notify your next of kin, that the Legendary Boxing Investment Guru has spoken.

Time is of the essence, gather up them hidden chestnuts, sell your Mrs, sell yourself... Whatever it takes...

10/1 Christmas Cracker coming next Friday.

Time to grow a pair of Christmas Baubles.... ''Faint heart never won fair maiden''!!

Till then

The Guru.

weemcd

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUFBWJQ_CNI

flanna01

I sincerely hope ye have taken aboard this unique offer, and prepared accordingly..??

Tomorrow is when all stations must be manned. Once the news breaks, ye must race to your nearest investment broker (I assume the down trodden still have a 'numbers man' in their respective ghettos??) I do so admire how a budding entrepreneur, can mingle and do business among the most desperate wretches of society, truly remarkable.

As previously stated, I like to reach out to the common people around Christmas time.. It fulfill's my Christian duty for another year.

Although this year will be different, it will be special. I understand the public houses closed down, and sent the most of ye spinning into a full deep depression. The very thought of being forced to sup at home all day with your Wives looking on, devoid of any craic, I can only imagine the torment ye suffered..

Hence - The Christmas Cracker guaranteed to come in at 10/1 and should lift the gloom from your pitiful lives.

My city acquaintances have been issued with the Christmas Cracker today... The delight upon their chubby faces was a tonic, and warmed the cockles of my heart. Needless to say, a lot of money has been invested already, and I am talking about the Queens pounds, not the European monopoly nonsense..

Whilst being driven through the City this afternoon, I had the unpleasant experience of being held in traffic around the Sherriff St area.. What a peculiar location that is... ?? I watched as the toothless wonders communicated in a bizarre fashion, each one lacking the very basic's of social protocols. The thought crossed my mind, should the Government not round them up, and ship them off to where these misfortunes should be kept... Prisons, Labour camps, Experiment labs and the ilk..??

Then the realization dawned on me, these are the very souls I am helping this Christmas.

So back to the investment.. I have carefully researched and studied the boxing form for the year. I care not about the hype, the media show, the pretence mirage of their being a bit of needle between the two camps... It all boils down to the bare nuts and bolts when the shouting is done.

And this my little tinsel terriers, is where the money lies... A whopping 10/1 wager in time for Christmas! Have faith, and follow the forums only true, genuine, Boxing Guru. Your investment tomorrow will ensure your liver won't dry out over the festive season..

Tonight and tomorrow is the last time you can add to your money pot.. Some of you will be going on the rob tonight, some will be scantly dressed, trying to attract the attention of passing lorry drivers, others will just call to their family and friends, and lift some items to sell.. Whatever the method, time is of the essence..

Till tomorrow fur ball's... Remember: Faint heart, never won fair maiden

flanna01

Ladies and Gentlemen, and boxing fans around the world...
This is it, the moment you have all been waiting for..
This year's annual Christmas Cracker, brought to you by God Sent Promotions...
Introducing..
The Legendry Boxing Investment Guru Himself..

So, my little red nosed wonders.. I hope ye all topped your investment pots up, and hopefully not too many of you were arrested.

I'd say the lorry drivers coming out of Dublin port were greeted to some queer sights last night...? However, necessity compels and all that right?

Many people ask me how I obtained the vision, the gift, the inside track etc.. I smile at their innocence, and maybe their lack of a good University education (One mustn't mock the afflicted too much). But my little ass wipes, my method is very simple and requires stepping away from the hype and the media nonsense..

Remember, simplicity is key.

So, with out further ado, lets get down to business. The Christmas Cracker consists of eight selections. Normally, a degenerate gambler would pass by the obvious picks, as not enough reward in the punt for him... He would rather go for the guy who will earn more bang for his buck..... My dear underlings, the bookies love you, and has built their Empires upon your shoulders.

Eight Selections - 10/1 winner

1) 14th Nov - Rachel Ball: This lanky ball of fun, is nailed on to lift a World Championship belt as she faces the beautiful Argentinian Jorgelina Guanini. The height difference here is to Racheal's advantage, and I expect her to coast to and easy points win. This selection is win only.

2) 14th Nov - John Docherty: This fight will be no more than a work out for the up and coming John Docherty. His opponent Jack Cullen has seen better days and will not pose a threat to the young knockout artist Docherty. This selection is win only.

3) 21st Nov - Conor Benn: So the Son of the legendry Nigel tops the bill at last.. This won't be a walk in the park for Conor by any stretch of the imagination. Formella, is a solid seasoned pro with only one recorded loss on his record, that being to a certain Shawn Porter. But with all considerations put to one side, this in Benn Jr's chance to shine, a challenge he will truly rise to. This selection is win only.

4) 29th Nov - Mike Tyson: How could we not include the former baddest man on the planet?? In my opinion, Roy Jones is a shadow of his former self, and many think he got walloped around the ring in a dozen fights too many, a statement I fully agree with. Of course these two are both passed their primes, both should be doing other things, but it is what it is... Tyson is focused and enjoying sparring, insisting his spar partners go all out.. Jones appears to be aging by the day. Tyson is conditioning himself for an early finish, Jones can't dance around the ring like he used to.. Once Mike connects, it's over. This selection is win only.

5) Dec 2nd - Ryan Walsh: This is an interesting match up. His opponent James Dickens is a cagey southpaw with a record boasting some top drawer names. Both boxers are ranked in the top ten of their division domestically, and on paper is a 50-50 fight. However, reading between the lines, and blowing the smoke away from the mirrors, this fight is an easy nights work for Walsh. His level and calibre of opponents fought, overshadows Dickens by a country mile. Easy nights work for Walsh. This selection is win only.

6) Dec 5th - Anthony Yarde: This is money for jam! There is no other possible conclusion than Yarde by KO. His opponent (a patsy) Dec Spelman is not worthy to share the same area as Yarde, let alone share the ring with him. Easy money. This selection Yarde by KO

7) Dec 6th - Errol Spence Jr: This will be the Errol Spence Jr showcasing his boxing skills in a boxing exhibition.. Spence is now 30yrs old, at at the prime of his career. Sporting a 26 fight unbeaten record, he steps between the ropes against a shot Garcia, on the downward slope of his career. This is a mismatch to the people in the know, the question is, can Garcia see the final bell?? This selection is win only.

8) Dec 12th - Lawrence Okolie : And so the final contest in the Christmas accumulator rests with Lawrence Okolie bringing home the bacon (or Turkey in this instance). Nothing like ending the wager with a tear up between two big guys. Okolie is a banger from London town sporting an 80% knockout ratio.. His opponent is a Polish dude with solid credentials on the wrong side of 30. This will be cagey for the first few rounds until Okolie finds his range, once that parameter is achieved, its goodnight Glowaki... And hello 10/1 winner......!!

So just to summarize. The above listed fights are what most would consider forgone conclusions.. This is where the key word SIMPLICITY comes into play. Individually, the fights are not worth betting on. Collectively, as an accumulator, they pay tenfold your investment... that is correct 10/1!


Christmas Cracker 2020

Nov 14: Racheal Ball (Win only)
Nov 14: John Docherty (Win only)
Nov 21: Conor Benn (Win only)
Nov 29: Mike Tyson (Win only)
Dec 2: Ryan Walsh (Win only)
Dec 5: Anthony Yarde (Win via KO)
Dec 6: Errol Spence Jr (Win only)
Dec 12:Lawrence Okolie (Win only)

Dec 13: Collect Winnings !!

So there you have it my little dregs of society... A guaranteed 10/1 winner without having to select by knockout or points decision (apart from the Anthony Yarde fight). All revenue will be collectable on the 13th December, plenty of time to stock the cupboards up with your chosen preferred mouth wash...

The guru hath spoken.

normanoffside

Cancel Christmas

I stole €500 for this and even sourced out a dodgy bookie to take a cash bet.
I am thinking you should give me back my money a you made me a guarantee.

Coneygree

Joshua Greer Jr by decision
Terri Harper by decision
Katie by decision
Spence by decision
Joshua Franco ML
Daniel Dubois ML

Pays over 10/1. You'll be set for Christmas by the end of November. Put the kids on it ta f*ck Pateen.

Coneygree

Coneygree wrote: »

Joshua Greer Jr by decision
Terri Harper by decision
Katie by decision
Spence by decision
Joshua Franco ML
Daniel Dubois ML

Pays over 10/1. You'll be set for Christmas by the end of November. Put the kids on it ta f*ck Pateen.

Kids are gone, Christmas ruined.

magma69

Flanna is the best thing that's ever happened to to this forum tbh.

normanoffside

Coneygree wrote: »

Joshua Greer Jr by decision
Terri Harper by decision
Katie by decision
Spence by decision
Joshua Franco ML
Daniel Dubois ML

Pays over 10/1. You'll be set for Christmas by the end of November. Put the kids on it ta f*ck Pateen.

Christ mas is dead here too.

flanna01

Greetings Underlings.

It is with a heavy heart, and a lighter pocket that I address you this evening. I have reflected on the dismal display put out by one of our selections. it made me sad.

John Docherty not only brought an untimely end to the Christmas Cracker, but my little urchins, he did so without any shame in his performance... There is no excuses, the wager was sunk on the first night of kicking off.. As the author of the investment, the book stops with me. Period.

This lapse of judgment on my behalf, can only be explained as an act of God... A million to one occurrence than we could never envision or foresee. But yet, I still stand before you this evening with my reputation blighted, my superior knowledge questioned, and even more painful.. an object of your ridicule...

However, I do take comfort from my boxing investment prowess.. A gift that has reaped reward in abundance in the past.. You have to hit the bottom to get to the top.. The odd bump in the road never deterred this boxing Guru.. Sometimes it's better to get the bad karma out of the way, and then proceed and prosper...

My dear little Fur Ball's, I come not to resign my position as Chief Christmas money maker.. No Sireee! I present myself this evening and ask for your forgiveness and redemption. The Christmas Cracker will be modified, enhanced and made active again..!

Tyson Fury was down and out in the 12th round against Wilder (1), this is the same with the Christmas Cracker. We dig deep my little ass wipes, we rise again, we come back better, stronger, richer, drunker... We will not be defeated!!


*** I proudly introduce the New 15/1 Christmas Cracker ***


The Christmas Cracker Revision 2

Nov 21: Conor Benn (Win Only)
Nov 28: Daniel Dubois (Win Only)
Nov 29: Mike Tyson (Win Only)
Dec 2: Ryan Walsh (Win Only)
Dec 5: Anthony Yarde (Win by KO)
Dec 6: Errol Spence Jr (Win Only)
Dec 12: Joe Parker (Win only)
Dec 12: Lawrence Okolie (Win Only)
Dec 12: Anthony Joshua (Win by KO)

Yes my little Christmas fairies, I have concocted a 15/1 sure thing. The bad karma has now dissipated making way for guaranteed prosperity and rewards. To follow me to the land of festive riches, you must grow a pair of iron clad gonads, take you previous loss like a man, dust yourself down, and saddle up again.. Can you do that???

This is it! The last money train for this year. Are you aboard??

Remember: 'Faint heart never won fair maiden'

flanna01

Ok...... Back to business. Quit licking your wounds and whinging about the world owing you a living. God, I despise the silver spoon brigade more than I do the poor at times.

In my defence, and I don't hide behind excuses.. Recent footage put up on Skysports, shows John Docherty in the dressing room before the fight, nursing a recently healed cut over his eye, obviously a sparring session gone wrong. When the eye was opened up again during the fight, he shat himself, knowing it was only barely healed.. He continued to fight protecting his cut eye instead of putting Jack Cullen out of action. The fight camps never share this information - And rightly so. You think Jack Cullen didn't see that cut when they listened to the referee's orders in the centre of the ring.....??

Anyway, lets not make Jack Cullen the Grinch of Christmas, and get on with the business in hand..

I'm sure a lot of you yellow bellied half wits are looking for excuses to not follow the Legendry Boxing Investment Guru again. You feel disillusioned, let down, betrayed.... Was he ever the real Messiah of boxing investments..?? Can he lead us to the promised land? Will the new Christmas Cracker bear fruit.....?

Ponder no further my little Christmas turkeys, the Guru hath spoken. I have posted the ultimate 15/1 wager that will reap the rewards and heal the hurt... Join me on the road to riches and excess.. Never has the time been better, the planets are lined up, this is it...

There are five days left before this soon to be Iconic investment takes off.. Go back on the rob, get a block of ice and head to Dublin port again (them lorry drivers love you), go dealing, visit your friends & family and nick their jewellery...What ever it takes, get on the money express.

My little bottom coughs, we got off on the wrong foot with this years Christmas Cracker... I implore you to find the faith again, and reap the reward I am bestowing upon you... The karma is all positive, our loss is behind us.

Don't spite your nose to save your face (believe me, it's not worth saving anyway).

My redemption is underway, I will rise above Sherriff St like a Phoenix. All the degenerate deadbeats here will be praising my name, I will go down in Boards folklore as the undisputed boxing investment Guru forever..

Join me on this journey for the guaranteed 15/1 ultimate Christmas Cracker (revision 2)....

The clock is ticking (Unless one of you has already lifted it?)

Here it is again........

The Christmas Cracker Revision 2

Nov 21: Conor Benn (Win Only)
Nov 28: Daniel Dubois (Win Only)
Nov 29: Mike Tyson (Win Only)
Dec 2: Ryan Walsh (Win Only)
Dec 5: Anthony Yarde (Win by KO)
Dec 6: Errol Spence Jr (Win Only)
Dec 12: Joe Parker (Win only)
Dec 12: Lawrence Okolie (Win Only)
Dec 12: Anthony Joshua (Win by KO)

Get on, Get Rich.

Out.

flanna01

Greeting my little degenerates..

Only three days left to get on the 15/1 money spinner.

Hardest selection is first up, with Connor Benn headlining the show. His opponent is the solid, durable, European champion Seb Formella.

Formella without doubt, is a class act, he sports only one defeat on his resume, that being against one of the worlds elite: Shawn Porter.

So, basically my little morons... The 15/1 wager will be more or less decided this Saturday night.

I have no doubt this is Conor Benn's time to shine, it won't be easy, but Benn will rise to the occasion and more importantly, get the new revised Christmas Cracker off to a glorious start..

Come Saturday night, I will tip my glass of Port to Benn Jr, knowing that the hard work is now done, and my very redemption is underway.

Too the many soldiers who will be joining me on this second journey, be strong my little pip squeaks, your reward is near and plentiful.

To the Nay-Sayers, the Eunuchs, and the Prophets of doom.... You will never get the chance of such easy money again. It only required a little faith and back bone. Unfortunately you have once again consigned yourselves to the folder headed Suckers & Losers.

But Alas, there is still time to change your Crimbo Outlook... Go on... Grow a pair..!!

Three days notice Fur Ball's!!

The Christmas Cracker Revision 2

Nov 21: Conor Benn (Win Only)
Nov 28: Daniel Dubois (Win Only)
Nov 29: Mike Tyson (Win Only)
Dec 2: Ryan Walsh (Win Only)
Dec 5: Anthony Yarde (Win by KO)
Dec 6: Errol Spence Jr (Win Only)
Dec 12: Joe Parker (Win only)
Dec 12: Lawrence Okolie (Win Only)
Dec 12: Anthony Joshua (Win by KO)

Guaranteed 15/1 wager..!!!

The Guru Hath spoken.

flanna01

Greetings my little mince pies..

So this is the day before tomorrow.. The day before the victory parade begins.. The final day to man up, grab destiny by the goolies and reap your Christmas rewards.

So, as I address you from my drawing room, sipping a full bodied Port (A 40yr old Tawny port I believe), I feel a nervous anticipation as I await tomorrow nights event to unfold - Dare I say the minnion's feel a similar sensation before mounting the stand on their latest shop lifting charge.. I wonder?

Sitting in my smoking jacket, as I look out over the City, teasing my pallet with another exciting swish of Port, I look forward to the Connor Benn vs Sebastian Formella dust up... Knowing that the impending Benn win, will catapult my redemption into the stratosphere... (The following selections are merely money grabs topping up the investment to 15/1).

Too the many who have kept the faith, and invested in the revised Christmas Cracker - Tomorrow night we drink pink bubbly (Kesteral Super Strenth would be your equivalent). We can retire to our sleeping quarters with contented hearts, knowing the hard work is done, and that we are well on the way to untold riches and rewards...

To the suckers and losers that couldn't summon the gonads to re- invest again, I pity you. You will forever exist on the hamster wheel chasing after the proverbial slab of Tennants.

Too the ass wipes sitting on the fence... Come to me my little ones, I shall bestow rewards upon you. The Christmas Cracker will be all but decided by midnight tomorrow.. Have faith this one more time... The promised land awaits you (roughly translated means - Christmas will be a complete drunken haze, were many days will pass without any memories being collected)

Yes my little halfwits.... As I sit here in the dark, the excitement mounts... I am on the cusp of confirmed greatness, forever too be consigned to Boards folklore.. The true, one and only, undisputed Boxing Investments Guru.

The clock is ticking, and the sands of time are draining away...

Tomorrow will be too late.

Faint heart never won fair maiden.

This is the last, final call, to get on the Christmas Cracker 2020 - The guaranteed 15/1 winner!!!


Nov 21: Conor Benn (Win Only)
Nov 28: Daniel Dubois (Win Only)
Nov 29: Mike Tyson (Win Only)
Dec 2: Ryan Walsh (Win Only)
Dec 5: Anthony Yarde (Win by KO)
Dec 6: Errol Spence Jr (Win Only)
Dec 12: Joe Parker (Win only)
Dec 12: Lawrence Okolie (Win Only)
Dec 12: Anthony Joshua (Win by KO)

The Guru hath spoken.

flanna01

Greeting my little Christmas plums..

I address you this afternoon with only hours left before our journey begins..

The multitude of pilgrims that have followed me on this endeavour will soon to be rewarded. (Amen!)

My friend Quentin from the City, has afforded me one of his Cuban cigars to feast upon when young Benn's hand is raised in victory tonight. I suggest you do the same, obviously a roll up would be more becoming of people of your class. none the less. we shall smoke in unison (although vey much apart... Very, very much apart..).

Young Conor really has his work cut out for him tonight, I would even venture to say the Christmas Cracker is dependent on this one contest.. (So exciting isn't it?). Formella, is most certainly a step up in competition, and brings many problems to the table. Although Benn Junior has the fighting heart of his Father, he still lacks basic ring intelligence. Hopefully he has learnt to be patient and pick his moments..

My friend Ralph from Dalkey, was intrigued by the Christmas wager, and especially liked the 15/1 return being touted. He has invested quite heavily in the revised edition of the Christmas Cracker, and looks forward to a hansom speedy return on his investment. He was more curious about helping scrote's out in the inner City... How we giggled over fine Port as I tried to explain it....

With only a matter of hours before the 15/1 guaranteed money spinner kicks off.... I implore anybody still sitting on the fence to take immediate action.. Tonight is the riskiest fight of them all.. The potential banana skin... This is were the men must stand up and be counted.. Who Dares Wins my friends...

Even my Chums the Auctioneers are getting on board on this investment.. Not seen returns like this since 2009 when flogging properties was a licence to print money.. (they don't get the helping out the peasants bit either...)

So.. Without further ado...

The last chance to get on the journey to the promised land ...

Nov 21: Conor Benn (Win Only)
Nov 28: Daniel Dubois (Win Only)
Nov 29: Mike Tyson (Win Only)
Dec 2: Ryan Walsh (Win Only)
Dec 5: Anthony Yarde (Win by KO)
Dec 6: Errol Spence Jr (Win Only)
Dec 12: Joe Parker (Win only)
Dec 12: Lawrence Okolie (Win Only)
Dec 12: Anthony Joshua (Win by KO)

The Guru Hath Spoken..

flanna01

My dearest Pilgrims, it is with a heart brimming with joy and pride that I address you tonight..

It is from my humble abode in Dublin 2, that I have the privilege of personally addressing the unemployable, the tagged, and indeed the many of you that are trapped in that world of 'out on bail'..

What a performance.. Our man brought home the bacon, and we are well on the way to riches and reward. Make no mistake, young Benn Junior has a worse defence than Domonic Cummings excuse for driving half way around England during lockdown.. But the end result is the same.. A win is a win.

The Benn vs Formella was always going to be the acid test of the Christmas Cracker... However, that is behind us now, and we march onwards.

The victory was satisfying.. As I sit in my chair inhaling the last of my Cuban Cigar, I could swear I smelt the sweet aroma of roll ups packed with weed drifting into my open windows..? With a glint in my eye, I said... 'yes, my little dregs, tonight we celebrate'

Roger from the City, was watching the show with me (a good man to bring a bottle of Port down). He suggested he get his driver to take us to the inner city to celebrate with the degenerates and the down trodden... It took a while to persuade him that we must not expose ourselves to infections such as Covid, Alcoholism and Poverty... (of course, I also knew Roger was just looking for ladies of the night..)

But back to business... The Boxing Investment has got off to a great start. The hardest part is done, and we are victorious. next weekend we see the baddest man on the planet take out the cash hungry Jittery Jones...

With the original Christmas Cracker shot down upon the first fight.. I can assure you, that tonight, it is indeed a pleasure and a privilege for you all to be here on board with me tonight...

There is absolutely nothing going to stop the 15/1 pay out being handed over.. My redemption is all but complete..

My dearest pilgrims.. Christmas is all done and paid for..

The Guru hath spoken

normanoffside

Oh, great one. The Parker fight is off by the way.

flanna01

Greetings my little inbreds..

How are the heads this morning? No doubt some of your over exuberance led to your detention last night, but sure isn't that what the Legal aid is for..

I too awoke with a ghastly headache, it's not often a man gets drunk on power and success, so one must be excused for these misdemeanors from time to time.. Roger the buffoon disgraced himself again, he really isn't suited to fine Port at all. His present to himself to celebrate the Christmas Cracker taking off, was to order two Filipino's for the night, and they weren't cleaners either.. Although he did mention over breakfast, that his pipe had been thoroughly cleaned and polished.??

So, we take a much needed break for a few days in order to catch our breath again.. The next installment of this years Iconic wager is next weekend, where a double whammy of fights more or less seal the deal of the Christmas Cracker..

Daniel Dubois, followed by a late showing of Iron Mike Tyson next up! - Obviously I won't be having Roger around again, he loses the run of himself after drink, and portrays some rather peculiar exotic tendencies..

As correctly stated by the previous poster, Joe Parker has withdrawn from his fight. This does not really impact our investment that much, as old Joe was going at 1/6 on, so probably reduces the odds to somewhere around the 13/1 mark.

Too be honest, I was glad to see the back of Parker.. Show me an Ozzy that can fight? The best thing that ever came out of Australia was Dame Edna, to which Roger made some rather lewd remarks about one night whist drunk..

Note: It didn't go un-noticed how Norman used the correct protocol in addressing me, very courteous and mannerly. Its amazing what they teach you in Prisons these days..

So my little Fur Ball's.. I step down from the forum for a few days. I leave you with the Christmas Cracker gathering speed and momentum. The land of plenty is only a few stops away, your reward is at hand, and my redemption is all but stamped..

Till we congregate again ..

The Guru

flanna01

Greetings my little dregs..

So.. There seems to be some interest coming in for Joe Joyce this weekend.. The late money seems to be going on a Joyce stoppage between 8 & 12..??

This is absurd..! I turn my back for two minutes, and ye all start getting jittery and flapping like ye were down the job centre... Am I not after telling you, Dubois has this...?

Even my good friend Norris, who made his fortune in the 2010 property crash, evicting the peasants from their homes (great days - licence to print money), rang me this afternoon regarding something he overheard one of his stable lads saying...

He was in such a panic.. Heard the man Joyce has a sterling amateur background, as opposed to Dubois having very little.. He also proceeded to inform me that he had wagered a good share of his staff's Pension fund on the Christmas Cracker too.. (nothing new there.. he often stated that the working class generally expire before sixty with ricketts and scabies and the ilk, so had no need for their pension..)

Needless to say.. I reassured Norris that the wager was safe, and he had no need to worry about whatever funds he had temporarily invested for his clients / self (embezzled). Norris relaxed, and we had a giggle about the pension fund.. Although he did say he'd a place in South Africa to fly to on Sunday if all went belly up..

So back to business.. Dubois will be done and dusted within six rounds. Joyce will be rewarded for his nights work, and we will continue unabated with the Christmas Cracker into the early hours of Sunday morning... A quick dispatch of Jittery Jones will put all the flock at ease again...

My little mince pies.. Enjoy the weekend, enjoy the occasion.. All is well with the Investment. (13/1 still rock solid)

Unfortunately, Roger has invited himself around to mine again this weekend, and with a double dose of boxing it could be a long night.
His conduct was most ungentlemanly last weekend, and the satin sheets he soiled had too be burnt.. I must speak to Roger about this.

Anyway, I hope this statement puts everybody at ease again..

The Guru.

flanna01

Greetings my little Christmas Puddings..

So, as we prepare for another roller coaster weekend of boxing, we must evaluate the latest news coming in..

Top of the bill is the conflicting reports that the Tyson vs Jones dust up will not be scored or a winner verified..? A quick research of the investment brokers (bookies, numbers men, racketeer's...) reveals that the odd's have indeed been removed from the boxing sections..

However, around midday today, a statement was issued by Ryan Kavanaugh, the guy promoting the card, stating that the World Boxing Council are providing three judges to score the fight, and a knockout is a possible ending to the fight as well. He gave several press conferences stating that a winner would be proclaimed once the fight ended.. Furthermore, the bookies state side have opened up odds again for the fight.

Make of that what you will..

Anyway, back to the business in hand... The Christmas Cracker is no stranger to bumps and dips in the road, and the next upcoming fight should whet the appetite.. The young Dubois stepping up to take on a confident Joe Joyce..

An interesting fight whilst it lasts.. The dogs on the street know the game plan for Joyce.. Keep out of harms way between 1 - 6, then press DDD down the stretch... (There really is no other game plan ...)

Have no fear of this outcome.. DDD will make handy work of Joyce, the wager is as safe as a fiver in a Cavan man's pocket..

I have Roger coming around again this weekend, bringing his friend Tony H (never met the man personally, they call him the Grinch at work?), anyway, I'm hoping he can exercise a little influence & supervision over Roger if things get messy.. (especially if he gets exotic notions again..)

So my little robin red tits.. The game is afoot again.. The Christmas Cracker continues Saturday into the early hours of Sunday morning.. The Investment is fattening by the week. Soon the riches and rewards will be dished out to the faithful.. And I will be redeemed for all eternity....

Buckle up Fur Ball's - We must go into battle once more..

The Guru.

flanna01

Very bad mood today..

So, I guess we can confirm that the geriatric showcase is but that.. A show. It is with regret, that we learn that our colleagues over the pond have again demonstrated how inept they really are, and indeed how alien they are to honesty and truth.

Let me make it clear to the bewildered what has actually occurred here.. The grab every dollar brigade, promoted the return of two of the greatest boxing draws still alive, Iron Mike Tyson & the multi belt champion Roy Jones... Right up to this week the noise coming from the US was a return to the ring in all their glory (see some of the trailers - Rocky 10 would be proud of them).

Unfortunately, it was a blatant pile of horse shyte.. This match is no more than a boxing exhibition, aimed at raising some funding for charity.. Or so the legal profession and loophole lawyers will tell you.

The reality of this is different... Both guys are expecting pay checks north of $7.5 million each (some exhibition fee eh..?). The streaming vendors or charging more for this 'exhibition' that what you might expect to pay for a genuine world title clash..

Anyway.... Due to the absolute disgraceful shenanigans of the ... Lets just say it.. 'Mobsters' over there ..., Running a high end money grabbing scam, by virtue of dodging every legal requirement expected of them... The contest has now been removed from the betting forums, as no winner can be decided (of a fight that dosen't exist), so therefore this selection becomes null and void as a consequence in relation to the Christmas Cracker..

So.. First we have Skippy Joe Parker withdrawing from his fight. And now we find that all along, a pack of Gangsters were running the show in America...

My dear little sausages... This now reduces the Christmas Cracker 8/1...

But... Hang in there my little Possums, surely our bad run of misfortune has come to an end..

We are but a fortnight away from cashing out.. We will accept the 8/1 guaranteed winner with grace and decorum.

We trust Karma will wink at us tonight, and the great Roy Jones will be fruitful in his endeavor too be victorious in the battle of the bellies... We wish him luck. And may all tax laws be rigorously implemented to each and every aspect of this sham of a promotion..

Tonight we cannot be distracted by the game in hand.. Dubois needs to be vigilant and patient. It is of the upmost importance that we now complete the Investment without further turmoil....

We will rejoice in our 8/1 winner very shortly.

Enjoy the action tonight my little ass wipes.. Hopefully, Roger will leave after the DDD v Joyce fight too..

The Guru Hath Spoken.

normanoffside

Oh dear leader, Parker did not withdraw it was his foe.

flanna01

As previously stated, I am expecting company this evening, and must oversee the kitchen and service protocol in advance of the guests arriving. I really do not have the time, nor the patience to reprimand you for your insolence.

You have indeed pointed out an incorrect statement - Namely that Skippy Joe Parker did not withdraw from his contest, and it was his opponent that did so.... (Goodness gracious me, you really are on a save the world mission tonight). What you have failed to grasp is the authors prerogative to exercise poetic licence...

My good man, let me indulge more.... As the author of the post(s), I may depart from the facts momentarily and intermittently, to ensure the desired effect, or point is grasped and understood by the reader... Did you not learn this on day one at Trinity.??

Now, I don't want to come across as condescending (you'll have to look that word up yourself), but you fail to appreciate, that I, in a nutshell, will be lining your pockets with money... Money that will have been generated by my extraordinary insight into the business of Pugilism..

Furthermore, to correct one of your peers is an outrage, and would have been unheard of back in the day.. Indeed, such a slight would have to be addressed & punished to save the family name.

A similar incident occurred to my Great Uncle Wigbert Zebedee the third... One miserable morning shortly before Christmas, a commoner from one of the slums (I believe it's known as Ballyfermot today), had reason to question Uncle Wigbert about an increase in land rent during Christmas week... In order to save face among the rest of the peasants, it was with regret, that Uncle Wigbert had to make an example of the poor wretch that had spoke out of turn, and had not followed social class etiquette correctly..

On that occasion, the commoner was paraded through the village, strung up, and whipped with a stocking full of wet turkey shyte... (Uncle Wigbert always liked to add a little Christmas charm, whatever the situation..)

Times have now moved on since then, and such festive fun is now frowned upon. Unfortunately, my only course of action is to publicly administer a dressing down to Mr Normanoffside, and let it be known that his misunderstanding of written literature has caused him acute embarrassment..

An an apology.. an appropriate percentage of his winnings should be donated to the 'Save the pine Martens of Dalkey Trust', such dear beasts.. Myself and Cecil are spearheading this campaign (and managing the funds)..

I trust this misunderstanding is now behind us... Let us go forth and increase the pot even more..

The next leg of the Christmas Cracker is nearly upon us again.. Let us unite as one, Onwards and upwards..

The Guru Hath Spoken.

normanoffside

Apologies oh great one. I was going to send you a personal message but I figured you wouldn’t take a direct communication from a peasant like myself.

I will delete my comment if you do not force me to give away part of my winnings to the poor folk of Dalkey.

normanoffside

There'll be no crackers this Christmas oh great one.

flanna01

My dearest little Fur Ball's..

I address you all again tonight for the final time.

With dismay, disbelief and frustration, I must once again concede that the Christmas Cracker is now dead.

What happened to Dubois tonight will be spoken about for many years to come. Not the fact that he lost, but more indeed the manner in which he lost.

We must give Dubois the benefit of the doubt (for now). Did the last punch to his closed eye, strike a nerve that caused temporary blindness? Did he suffer an orbital breakage? Did the punch hit a nerve similar to a back street dentist working on a molar? These are all worthy reasons to take a knee... Your health is your wealth - Just ask Gerrald McClellan about this.

Or did he take a knee to prevent the punishment he has inflicted on so many others?? Did he not wish to suffer the humiliation of a stoppage or a knock out? Had he had enough? The months ahead may cause him to regret his actions tonight, the boxing fan base are an unforgiving lot.. The days ahead may clear the waters somewhat here..

Either way.. The result still spells the end for this year's Christmas Cracker.

Before I leave this forum for the final time, I would like to clarify a few things:

1) I have never intentionally set out to offend or belittle any fellow contributor on this site. Most of the senior guys will remember me from years gone by.. Even the mods are lenient towards my posts. The expectation was that everybody would see the postings for what they are - Satire. (Note: The definition of Satire is to use humour to ridicule & expose peoples stupidity in a comical non offensive manner) To all of you that understood this - Thankyou

2) My aim, was always to generate a little banter, and heighten the interest in upcoming boxing matches.

3) After the first investment went bad, I did my damndest to create a winning bet (This is factual).

So, as I prepare to bid you all a fond farewell once more, I offer my sincere apologies to anybody that did invest in the Christmas Crackers, I am every bit as disappointed as you are.

Normanoffside - Fair play to you Sir for having the back bone to post on this thread. It was obvious anybody doing so would get a timely response.. (Note: Many people have viewed the thread, practically zero prepared to risk ridicule by uploading a post). Be proud of yourself Norman, many watched from the shadows, you Sir, did not.

So, without further ado... I wish to bid each and every one of you a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year. Sincere thanks for following my thread, it brightened up a rather testing time in our Irish history.. I wish you all, and your families the very best for Christmas and the New year.

Hopefully 2021 will see the end of the Covid shadow hanging over us all. Hopefully we will again watch some great fights, with great crowds in attendance. We will get through this, we WILL come out the other side....

Again.. Thanks to everyone. Thanks to the Mods. Thanks to all the contributors that logged on for a quick nosey.. I hope I brought a smile to your face, even if it was only for a few seconds...

My friends.. Daniel Dubois got beat tonight. The Christmas Cracker is over...

I'll get me coat and hat on the way out lads...

The Guru X

normanoffside

Hopefully Rodger hasn’t taken it too badly.
Don’t worry about the degenerates from north Dublin they’ll forget it quickly like they do all their days.
Looking forward to the next cracker.

walshb

You gave it your best shot, lad. That’s all one could ask for

I just wish Dubois had a modicum of your enthusiasm!

anissazion

I see a portion outdated actually occupy this segment, I anticipate that you should bow consciously when I post an update of the Christmas Cracker. I additionally see some new faces... Some unusual names...?? I see you made it to the correct spot in any case, never seen such skulduggery, awfulness and too be plain, edgy chancers of faulty character, you'll fit in well here my companions. Flanna is the best thing that is ever happened to this discussion tbh. Back to business. Stop licking your injuries and whinging about the world owing you a living. God, I scorn the silver spoon unit more than I do the poor on occasion.