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Unemployed Lonely Broke and Bored

  • 06-11-2020 4:57pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi All. I have been unemployed for 2 months now and due to some misinformation I received I have had no income during this time and will remain unemployed due to an illness for the foreseeable future. I moved counties to pursue work, all my friends had moved from my previous county to back home or abroad and I had always wanted to move to the county I now reside in. I was misinformed about how long a medical test I needed would take so I stupidly moved thinking I would only be out of work with this illness temporarily. Well it turns out the waiting list is 4x longer than what I had been told so now I'm in a new county with no work, no way to make friends, bored cause I have nothing to do, broke cause I have no income (I am in the midst of applying for benefits). I'm really lonely. I was lonely in my last county too but at least I had work. I cannot work with this illness and I don't want to move back but I spend most of my days sad and lonely. I try to get out to Tesco or for a walk at least once a day but it doesn't help much and I can't afford to sign up to classes (not that I could with level 5) or buy things from Amazon to help pass the time. I'm lost in my illness and my loneliness. My friends have moved on with their partners or their own lives and I feel so utterly alone.


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 5,319 ✭✭✭JustAThought


    What country are you from and now in OP - might help in terms of suggestions.

    Lots of people are not working and bored and lonely - you are not alone in that at least!

    Have you any secret desires of things you’d always wanted to do if you had the time - perhaps now might be the time to research them or figure out how to make them happen!?

    Also - the internet! Talkey podcasts, TuneIn Radio, Youtube, BBC archives , - there are a lot of ways to distract yourself - without parting with money - we all have to learn to do it!

    I make myself go for a walk every day whether I need to or not - It adds up and you’d be surprised how a nod and a bit of a exchange chit chat en route can brighten your day. There are also still
    things on ( not sure where you are thou) - part of it is determination to improve things for
    yourself - you have to make it happen and help
    yourself too.

    Regarding boredom
    there are (free) online courses you can do - lots of the Ivy Leavue colleges have them , also open courses such as futurelearn and MOOC. Some have forums where people exchange their views and thou its not perfect it does kill the day. Or some of it. There are also tedtalks and some great nostalgia comedy on youtube - not cery productive but it certainly puts tou in a good mood & lifts the day.

    Everybody is in a similar boat - some are bigger, some have screaming kids or nagging wives
    in them, all of them are leaking differently and we are all getting wet. Its hard that you are somewhere new and isolated but try and frame the days and make it interesting for
    yourself so that when you do phone or zoom your friends you have something new and positive to share and talk about. Things will get better.


  • Registered Users Posts: 633 ✭✭✭LilacNails


    Hey op I'm pretty much in the same boat. I will say what I find great is going for walks. I know it's the usual boring answer, but what I've found once I have the right podcast hail rain or shine walking for at least an hour feels like a break and escape from everything.

    There's day, like today for example, O have to push and talk myself into but I never end up regretting doing and always feel relived for doing it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    What country are you from and now in OP - might help in terms of suggestions.

    Hi thanks for the advice-I am living in pretty much central Dublin atm; I moved from another smaller city on the opposite side of the country, I had lived there for too long imo and cabin fever had been setting in or a few years at that stage-so I saw my chance to move and I moved with the assumption I would only be out of work for a month with my illness-Dublin is the land of jobs and everything. I did lockdown in my family home last time and I am extremely grateful to not be there-whilst I am bored and lonely here at least there are food shops and pharmacies and civilization around :P My family home is literally situated in one of the most isolated townlands in the country; I was on sick leave from work there so whilst the isolation was a killer, it was the worst, I was able to buy art supplies online as I had an income, atm I do not-every time I eat I am dipping into my savings, I cant afford to buy art materials or books. I feel bad every time I walk by a beggar and have nothing to give them but I literally have 0 income atm and if it wasn't for the fact I have savings I'd be out on the street too. If anything they might be better off financially than me-I don't have a medical card, no govt. assistance, etc. I am now looking into MOOCs so there's that. Thanks. I just feel so utterly unproductive however, I didn't love my job before but I always went to evening classes-I can't afford to do those atm-and level 5 restrictions would make it impossible anyways. I had my eye on a somewhat prestigious acting course that actually accepted me but it was nearly 500 euro for a semester-p/t once a week, so I didn't enroll-even with an income that's a lot-with no income that's just....insane, completely undoable.

    I am a bit at a loss on how to meet people too. I don't 'do' tinder but I joined literally just to chat and banter with people-as soon as people learned I wasn't working, even if I explained I am out of work due to illness, they immediately unmatch-like I'm a leper for not working-it makes me feel awful-I had such a good job for someone my age -25- before I got ill-my base pay was nearly x4 greater than what I will be on if I get full benefits.... which IDK if I will get cause I applied after I left my job so my income leading up to the application wasn't x00 euro per week, it was 0.

    And it looks like I will be unable to make friends till I get my illness sorted which based on the waiting list is nearly a full year away-and even at that I've had so many medical tests that have had inconclusive results, what to say that this test wont be inconclusive too and Ill be put on some other waiting list that is a year long-this stupid list is as a private patient too-I'm fortunate my dad has insurance on me. So I don't have a means or method to make friends in this new city. I cant do those girl group hang out things cause well lockdown, and a lot of activities involve spending money anyways, eg cinema trips, cafes, etc.

    Sorry I'm just venting/whining at this stage :p


  • Registered Users Posts: 630 ✭✭✭Lyra Fangs


    OPHere wrote: »
    Hi thanks for the advice-I am living in pretty much central Dublin atm; I moved from another smaller city on the opposite side of the country, I had lived there for too long imo and cabin fever had been setting in or a few years at that stage-so I saw my chance to move and I moved with the assumption I would only be out of work for a month with my illness-Dublin is the land of jobs and everything. I did lockdown in my family home last time and I am extremely grateful to not be there-whilst I am bored and lonely here at least there are food shops and pharmacies and civilization around :P My family home is literally situated in one of the most isolated townlands in the country; I was on sick leave from work there so whilst the isolation was a killer, it was the worst, I was able to buy art supplies online as I had an income, atm I do not-every time I eat I am dipping into my savings, I cant afford to buy art materials or books. I feel bad every time I walk by a beggar and have nothing to give them but I literally have 0 income atm and if it wasn't for the fact I have savings I'd be out on the street too. If anything they might be better off financially than me-I don't have a medical card, no govt. assistance, etc. I am now looking into MOOCs so there's that. Thanks. I just feel so utterly unproductive however, I didn't love my job before but I always went to evening classes-I can't afford to do those atm-and level 5 restrictions would make it impossible anyways. I had my eye on a somewhat prestigious acting course that actually accepted me but it was nearly 500 euro for a semester-p/t once a week, so I didn't enroll-even with an income that's a lot-with no income that's just....insane, completely undoable.

    I am a bit at a loss on how to meet people too. I don't 'do' tinder but I joined literally just to chat and banter with people-as soon as people learned I wasn't working, even if I explained I am out of work due to illness, they immediately unmatch-like I'm a leper for not working-it makes me feel awful-I had such a good job for someone my age -25- before I got ill-my base pay was nearly x4 greater than what I will be on if I get full benefits.... which IDK if I will get cause I applied after I left my job so my income leading up to the application wasn't x00 euro per week, it was 0.

    And it looks like I will be unable to make friends till I get my illness sorted which based on the waiting list is nearly a full year away-and even at that I've had so many medical tests that have had inconclusive results, what to say that this test wont be inconclusive too and Ill be put on some other waiting list that is a year long-this stupid list is as a private patient too-I'm fortunate my dad has insurance on me. So I don't have a means or method to make friends in this new city. I cant do those girl group hang out things cause well lockdown, and a lot of activities involve spending money anyways, eg cinema trips, cafes, etc.

    Sorry I'm just venting/whining at this stage :p

    Hi OP, have you heard of Girl Crew? Obviously group meet ups aren't happening right now but there are a number of whatapps groups where people organise walks etc with people living local to them. Since you're in central Dublin you may be close to such people so you could join? Alternatively, it's a chit chat group for people in situations similar to your own that you can use to vent/socialise.


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