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Opportunity to study in UK - Terrified to go

  • 30-10-2020 1:14pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I have been offered a place on a 2 year postgraduate course in the UK. At first I was delighted, but now I'm becoming more and more nervous about going. It's only a few months until the course starts and my life is going to be completely turned around. I'm terrified.

    I have a lovely house share here, and a job I love. I am very comfortable and happy.

    The only problem with my job is there are limited opportunities for progression and the postgrad will take my career in the direction I want it to go. Things have also become pretty stagnant for me here in general.

    But if I go for this, I'll have to give up my job, my house, and move country. I'll have to find somewhere new to live, get a new job, and start completely afresh.

    I'm 27 and I know now is a good time to do this but I'm totally overwhelmed at the thought of all the upheaval and I'm having second thoughts. I'm not sure what to do.


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,208 ✭✭✭Batgurl


    I’d be a big believer in taking the chances, especially as it could only further you and your career.

    It’s human nature to fear change. We are creatures of habit and find comfort in routine.

    The problem is that the things you find such comfort in; job/ house share/ friends, are all things you can’t control.

    You could lose your job or the colleagues you like could move on and suddenly, you have new ones that you hate. Same goes for housemates; they may decide to move in with partners or buy solo. Or the landlord may decide to sell.

    All these things are almost certain to happen at some point in the future, especially as you approach your 30’s. Doing stuff for you and taking control of your future ensures you won’t get left behind.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,902 ✭✭✭Jequ0n


    What are you actually scared of?
    Have you ever left your comfort zone and done something entirely by yourself?
    It’s the best thing you can do in my experience


  • Registered Users Posts: 762 ✭✭✭dubal


    Go go go... you'll regret it forever if you don't

    You'll be amazed how great the rest of the world is


  • Registered Users Posts: 509 ✭✭✭NeonCookies


    110% worth trying. Twice in my life I've done similar - moved countries for the sake of opportunity when I could have stayed happily where I was, once with a partner and once alone. Both experiences were the making of me, and I'd consider them some of the best years of my life (so far!)

    I will say though, don't expect smooth sailing. After the initial flurry of newness, you will likely experience sadness, loneliness and a yearning for the comfort of "home". If at all possible wait this out - acknowledge it of course, have a Skype with home, have a cry - but then make a plan for the next day. Before I made friends I had some very lonely weekends but then I started to explore places by myself, went out for lunch with a book etc. You will settle and gradually meet people particularly if you are doing a course and have university meetups to go to. Good luck!


  • Registered Users Posts: 23,031 ✭✭✭✭ted1


    I went for a part time masters rather than a full time. Only took a year longer and allowed me to work. Would you think of doing that.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 443 ✭✭TP_CM


    One other point on top of the good points already made here is that your world is changing whether you are or not. Decisions and opportunities are being taken by everyone around us so we can't assume that by standing still, tomorrow will be the same as today. Nice housemates move out, horrible ones move in, job demands and the people we work with change. The whole world is changing so I think taking chances and risks towards goals we have is always a good idea. Go for it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks everyone for the replies. I guess I'm scared of the unknown. I have lived abroad before, in Canada for a year. I loved it but was glad to get home and since then have settled into a comfortable job and house share. My parents are getting older which makes me worry about leaving too. I'm afraid of the huge changes that lay ahead and the fact I'll be over there alone.

    I'm pretty sociable and I used to be far more adventurous but I'd be more prudent these days, not sure why. It's good to just talk about it though and explore my options so thanks for any advice.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,189 ✭✭✭Gekko


    Is there no equivalent course here you could apply for?

    And is the course not being taught partly online at the moment due to Covid which would change things?

    I didn’t get enough points in my Leaving to study my subject so had to go to the UK.

    The first year was tough but once I found my feet it was a lot better.


  • Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    jendela wrote: »
    Thanks everyone for the replies. I guess I'm scared of the unknown. I have lived abroad before, in Canada for a year. I loved it but was glad to get home and since then have settled into a comfortable job and house share. My parents are getting older which makes me worry about leaving too. I'm afraid of the huge changes that lay ahead and the fact I'll be over there alone.

    I'm pretty sociable and I used to be far more adventurous but I'd be more prudent these days, not sure why. It's good to just talk about it though and explore my options so thanks for any advice.

    I'm going to suggest advice that's a bit out of line with what others have given you on the thread, despite the fact that I think they're mostly right.

    Some people are wanderlusts, others aren't. Maybe you're one of those who isn't. I know someone who moved from Dublin to the UK to do a 1-year postgrad in a highly-ranked college. He loved the programme, and got through it with flying colours. But it was difficult personally. He felt badly displaced, and his mental health took a bit of a knock. He came back afterwards and got into a pretty good groove, but there's no doubt he had a tough time of it personally while he was away. It's hard to say exactly what it was, but he missed familiar faces and places and he was dreadfully homesick.

    So while people are right to say you should be prepared to dive in and give it a go, all I'm adding is that I'm not 100% convinced - different strokes for different folks, and all that.

    What I would say is that if you do go, you should do your best to keep good connections here and/or make good connections there. I also think it's no harm for you to have a plan B and a plan C.

    Plan B is to aim to go and give it a try, but be willing to acknowledge that it mightn't work out for you. If that happens, you should be willing if needs be to cut your losses and return - and not see that as a failure.

    Plan C is to look around and see if there's another way of getting the same career-enhancing education here. It might be a less glamorous option, and it might be trickier to find options here compared to the UK, but for all you know it could be every bit as effective from a personal and career development point of view.

    You're better off working with the grain of your personality than trying to cut across it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,657 ✭✭✭uli84


    Only ever regretted not doing stuff in my life, and whenever I decided to follow the opportunity it always turned out great so go go go :)


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  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,170 Mod ✭✭✭✭HildaOgdenx


    Can you thrash it out with someone, sometimes when you speak something out loud, it helps.

    There must have been good reasons why this course appealed to you. You have mentioned work prospects, which is of course, a good reason. Were there any others?

    You use words like 'terrified and overwhelmed', which are quite strong negative feelings. I think the scenario we are in now, is prompting possibly strange reactions in many of us, to various situations. So that might be a little of what is going on with you also.

    As mentioned upthread, is it possible that the course will be online anyway, and not require physical presence for quite some time? Is there a similar course here that you could apply for, next year, if needs be?

    If you don't do it, how will you feel? You don't have to answer that, just something to mull over.

    Best of luck, whatever you decide.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,319 ✭✭✭JustAThought


    uli84 wrote: »
    Only ever regretted not doing stuff in my life, and whenever I decided to follow the opportunity it always turned out great so go go go :)

    You’re focusing on the fears and scary bits - the change, the challenges, what yiu’ll be walking away from - but look also at the great
    things that could come from it! A beautiful new olace in the UK, new like minded circle of friends to add to your old ones, new ideas and people, the long term financial and career plusses! Sure its scarey but your parents would not like you to use them as an excuse not to follow your dreams - and are you going to never take a holiday or trip or achieve anything in the future because they are getting older?

    I would say Covid-19 has changed a lot though. Wasn’t I reading about big problems with infection control in Scotland and Manchaster/Birmingham due to students. Did college policies change because of that? I mean - are students studying online now or are they allowed to go in? Most colleges here are a mix - but that may have changed since our last lockdown?

    I’d have a look at the Uk government policy re their covid reatrictions and look at what they are saying they may do and ask specifically about your new college policy/ how they are delivering your courses lectires and tutorials/labs. It coild be that it is online and so it might be possible for you to remIn where you are and still do the course.

    Personally having looked at the UK for a masters and a job pre covid, my big worry was the fees and Britexit - I think this kicks in at the end of this year ( but they keep changing). I’d be asking for a written guarantee ( which I think you may never get as unis are gove funded) that the course will remain at pre-Britexit fee costs for you - ie that in your second academic year you will not be hit with international student fees which could make the whole thing unworkable financially.

    Worth consodering. But then you may have a scholarship in which case I’d grab it with both hands nd try and use quarrentine as a reason to do it online until things calm down a bit!!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,193 ✭✭✭Tork


    Any time you do something like this, you are taking a chance. There's no point in assuming that it'll be sunshine and roses all the way. It's usually worth it in the end. 2 years is nothing in the grand scale of things and things will settle for you. I know that change can be hard for some people and that moving on is a big deal for them. It's perfectly normal for you to be fearful about what lies ahead but there have to be reasons why you thought it was the thing to do.

    You might be in a nice comfort zone now but you've got to bear in mind that your current set-up is on borrowed time. It's inevitable that your current housemates will move out at some point and possibly replaced by people you don't connect with. You'll also get to the stage of your life where you get tired of house sharing and want your own place. Your job and colleagues won't stay the same either and you might find yourself being left behind. You need to effect some sort of change, whether it's this course or something else. If you turn this course down you're just kicking the can down the road.


  • Registered Users Posts: 585 ✭✭✭Windmill100000


    Fear is normal. Ask yourself what is the worst thing that could happen and how likely it is to happen?

    You have been given an opportunity that will enhance the rest of your working life. Start looking at the pros of going versus staying.

    I moved to Ireland 20 years ago with two suitcases to my name. I am happier than I have ever been and I will never regret it. Was I terrified? Hell, yes. I'm glad I didn't let fear hold me back.


  • Registered Users Posts: 728 ✭✭✭bertiebomber


    defer it till this idiot covid has been controlled


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