Irrational thoughts about taking a break from abstinence

thenumber3

I'm off drink for 116 days with all going well so far.

One thing that is concerning me are niggling thoughts suggesting I should take time out from not drinking and "treat myself" over Christmas. I hopefully will be 6 months sober December 22nd and part of me is trying to justify taking a brief break after this milestone and then abstaining again. This is completely irrational - I know I would end up going on a week-long (at best) binge with all the negatives and zero positives but still the thoughts enter my head.

So far, not drinking has been exceptionally positive for me - as deep down I knew it would be despite many false starts. With all I have learned about alcohol and the negative effect it has had on me over the years I can't understand how a part of me is suggesting going back, albeit temporarily.

Anyone else have similiar thoughts before that don't make sense, knowing what they know about themselves?

TherapyBoy

..This is completely irrational..

..with all the negatives and zero positives..

..So far, not drinking has been exceptionally positive for me - as deep down I knew it would be..

..With all I have learned about alcohol and the negative effect it has had on me over the years I can't understand how a part of me is suggesting going back..

All I’d recommend to you when you feel like having a drink is to read your own post first. You’ve written out everything you need right here beautifully, it couldn’t be said any better by anyone else.

Stay safe & be strong.

Amazingfun

As stated on other threads many times, it's all down to how honest you can be about your history with alcohol. Some people here really are the types who just need to take a break. The break allows a centering and perspective on perhaps the whys of their over indulging, etc. They can then , eventually, reengage with alcohol in a moderate fashion and go on with their lives without too much bother.

Then there are real alcoholics, people for whom no amount of self analysis, reflection or will power will be able to be applied to their drinking in any impactful way. Usually, it just gets worse.

For example, in AA there is a portion of the text where we are encouraged to ask ourselves but two simple questions:

1. When drinking, can I control the amount I take? Or do I seem to experience this strange " when I take the drink, the drink takes me" phenomenon after I take the first one? This is termed the physical allergy.

2. When I am off the drink and really really want to stay off it (not the kind of "I am on the wagon" or "sobriety under duress" where I am really just hoping to get people annoying me off my back :P) ...can I stick to that? Or do I find myself baffled and bewildered when I find myself with a drink in hand yet again, secretly wondering "wtf is wrong with me"? This is termed the mental obsession.

And that's it! The simplest method of self diagnosis imaginable, but these are questions that only we in our most honest state can answer.

For me, to drink is to die. I haven't struggled with thoughts of drinking for many many years because I learned that I had already lost the fight. Booze and me are done--not just for today, but for the rest of my life. Pretty depressing stuff at the time, but weirdly, as soon as I accepted the truth, the doom n gloom lifted and I've never looked back.
Now, I am just grateful to be alive and free.

Wish you all the best in your quest :-)