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The 355

  • 07-10-2020 11:37pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 75,429 ✭✭✭✭ JP Liz V1




    Simon Kinberg presents Jessica Chastain as a Bourne leader to her Ocean's
    team :P


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 2,722 ✭✭✭ El Rifle


    From the guy who did Key Grip on the Bourne movies

    This could well be the best film ever made


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,163 ✭✭✭ santana75


    Love Jessica Chastain and the others are pretty good too, but this looks a bit naff and too try hard. I hope Im wrong though and it turns out to be a decent movie.


  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 27,775 Mod ✭✭✭✭ pixelburp


    Simon Kinberg truly failing upwards here: Dark Phoenix a total wet fart of a film, pulling $250 millon worldwide on a $200 million budget and somehow he gets a globe-trotting, star studded action thriller in response. The idea of Hollywood being any kind of meritocracy never seemed more fictional.

    And as for the dialogue...

    "I'm putting a team together ... you're the best in the world at what you do..."

    Aaron Sorkin must have had to sit down for a moment when he read dialogue that fresh & snappy :rolleyes:


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,207 ✭✭✭ p to the e


    S02E07-aNAp8Vnc-subtitled.jpg


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,561 ✭✭✭ FortuneChip


    I'm sure it'll deliver the action thrills, but that's one generic trailer.

    Spelling out to the "best at what you do..." "You've got cameras in your jewellery, comms in your earrings"
    What is this science!!!


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  • Registered Users Posts: 56,366 ✭✭✭✭ Agent Coulson


    I watched Chastain in Ava and she can do generic action well.

    It looks a fun popcorn movie now it will probably be a VOD home popcorn movie.


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,535 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Dades


    Well that looks like a complete pile of ludicrous, predictable nonsense.

    But give me a few glasses of wine and I am in.

    (You had me at Chastain).


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,750 ✭✭✭✭ bnt


    I don't know, it could be like Atomic Blonde, better than the trailer made it seem (I thought).

    PS if you're in to guitars at all, "The 355" means something else entirely.

    Parvi enim sunt foris arma, nisi est consilium domi.



  • Registered Users Posts: 75,429 ✭✭✭✭ JP Liz V1




  • Registered Users Posts: 75,429 ✭✭✭✭ JP Liz V1


    January 2022 cinema release



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  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 27,775 Mod ✭✭✭✭ pixelburp


    I watched the trailer again, seeing I was so salty on it exactly one year ago! (Ah, CoVid time). Maybe I was just cranky; but no. Still looks like utter dreck, such that if it got a joking sidekick, would immediately turn into a spoof.

    I'm not surprised it has been chucked into the January slush pile.



  • Registered Users Posts: 56,366 ✭✭✭✭ Agent Coulson


    Well it can't be any worse than Gunpowder Milkshake which was probably the worst film of the year.


    And thanks to Y the Last Man I no now what the 355 is.


    The 355 was the code name (Agent 355)for a female spy during the American Revolution



  • Registered Users Posts: 12,062 ✭✭✭✭ MisterAnarchy


    Why is Hollywood churning out garbage like this ?

    I can safely say without a shadow of a doubt that this will be a commercial bomb.



  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 27,775 Mod ✭✭✭✭ pixelburp


    Because Simon Kinsberg, despite being technically a graduate from Film School, is a producer who keeps writing/directing his own hacky work. He's a quintessential of someone who has failed upwards.



  • Registered Users Posts: 12,062 ✭✭✭✭ MisterAnarchy


    It seems Jessica Chastain proposed the idea for a female-led spy film while working with Simon Kinberg on Dark Phoenix

    The budget on the film is said to be $75 million-plus

    Hmm, I'd say this will gross less than $10m, might even go straight to VOD.

    There must be some sort of tax avoidance scheme or money laundering involved in these types of money, surely the studio know that they cant make money on dross like this.



  • Registered Users Posts: 56,366 ✭✭✭✭ Agent Coulson


    If it was going to go straight to VOD it would have gone there already during Covid.



  • Registered Users Posts: 12,062 ✭✭✭✭ MisterAnarchy


    New trailer, its unintentionally hilarious




  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 27,775 Mod ✭✭✭✭ pixelburp


    If I could confine one Spy Movie Visual Trope to the bin, it's that stupid moment something passes in front of a character, then POOF! The character disappeared.

    I like the one in The Bourne Identity, only for some classic Hollywood goofing, 'cos you can see Matt Damon's feet scuttling alongside the wee van. It doesn't even really make sense contextual to that point in the movie, as Bourne hadn't yet discovered who he was - but Woooooh! It's mysterious.




  • Registered Users Posts: 16,688 ✭✭✭✭ silverharp


    a $75m budget , so just needs to clear $150m lol, I think I would stick with a rewatch of Kill Bill which had a similar enough budget instead of this humourless schlock.

    A belief in gender identity involves a level of faith as there is nothing tangible to prove its existence which, as something divorced from the physical body, is similar to the idea of a soul. - Colette Colfer



  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,535 Mod ✭✭✭✭ Dades


    Why not just call it "Charlie's MILFs" and be done with it.



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  • Registered Users Posts: 9,693 ✭✭✭ Slydice


    feels kinda lame

    also Lupita Nyong'o as a support techie... could they not have given her a more lead role



  • Registered Users Posts: 16,688 ✭✭✭✭ silverharp


    took $5m at the weekend in the US, first box office flop of the year, youd wonder why lol

    A belief in gender identity involves a level of faith as there is nothing tangible to prove its existence which, as something divorced from the physical body, is similar to the idea of a soul. - Colette Colfer



  • Registered Users Posts: 12,062 ✭✭✭✭ MisterAnarchy


    A complete turd as predicted.

    Hollywood need to stop employing Simon Kinberg, the guy is a hack.

    I see next up he is going to destroy Battlestar Galactica, he is writing a film for Universal.

    Be afraid be, very afraid.



  • Registered Users Posts: 2,307 ✭✭✭ The Phantom Pain


    It's directed by Simon Kinberg who absolutely destroyed the X Men franchise and the Dark Phoenix story - one of the greatest comic book story lines ever - TWICE. This talented cast deserved better.



  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 27,775 Mod ✭✭✭✭ pixelburp


    I wouldn't be; they've been threatening a Battlestar film since the reboot ended in '09. Kinsberg is running out of runway at this stage, I'd doubt he'd be let near a valuable IP; least of all an expensive space epic. Besides, last I heard Sam Esmail (Mr Robot, Homecoming) was helming a new show - which seems the more alive and current production as Esmail is apparently full steam ahead last I heard.

    It may be the hope speaking, but this flop may finally consign Kinsberg to landfill. You don't get your film chucked into January because the studio has faith.



  • Registered Users Posts: 16,688 ✭✭✭✭ silverharp


    in this case did it matter who directed it? it looks more like a concept mistake.

    A belief in gender identity involves a level of faith as there is nothing tangible to prove its existence which, as something divorced from the physical body, is similar to the idea of a soul. - Colette Colfer



  • Registered Users Posts: 12,062 ✭✭✭✭ MisterAnarchy


    Kinsberg said that he has finished the second draft of the BSG film and it will exist in a shared universe with Esmails upcoming series.

    It might never see the light of day though as you say.

    Note Esmail is only producing the new BSG series, he wont be writing or showrunner.

    Mike Lesslie was showrunner but he bailed last year so it too could be doubtful.



  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 27,775 Mod ✭✭✭✭ pixelburp


    Meh; any old eejit can draft a script and lord knows many flush around Hollywood getting rewrites, rejigs or wholesale binning before something starts shooting. Kinsberg can say what he likes but I'd be honestly shocked if his work moves forward. Being a producer probably keeps doors open to him, but I'd be shocked if after X-Men and this, he still has enough clout to be allowed diddle with an IP like that; one that'd be attractive for rebooting in a post The Expanse landscape.



  • Registered Users Posts: 56,366 ✭✭✭✭ Agent Coulson


    It is so bad it's complete garbage.



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  • Registered Users Posts: 75,429 ✭✭✭✭ JP Liz V1


    I'm watching this currently on Sky, oh my for a bad film, Chastain is the weakest link in the bad chain, it might have worked with a better script, director and lead actress on Netflix, only saving grace is Sebastian Stan as for me Bucky can do no wrong



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