Manager inappropriately touching people

Laughing with Me

I would like your advice on this matter. I work in a large store and have noticed that the head manager can be somewhat strange in ways. He can sometimes stand too close to me and can sometimes be a bit touchy. It might be something small, like when he'd point at something that would happen to be in my direction, his finger would go right up near my eye. He seems gay, but I'm told he's married.

I didn't think too much of it until one evening I delivered him bad news about a shoplifting incident that had occurred. After I'd told what was stolen he asked "and where were you?". I told him that I was doing a cash lift with another manager but I think I kind of stuttered when I said it, and maybe didn't sound too convincing. Anyway, as he walked past me he sort of walked into me with his shoulder, and then leaving his hand swing into my hip as he walked off. I didn't know how to react and didn't say anything. I tried to tell myself that he was just stressed. But I couldn't. I would never do that to someone myself unless I was on the pitch or something.

Anyway, due to days off / holidays, followed by the lockdown, I didn't end up seeing him after that for about another 3 months. I figured it was too long ago to bring up, and I sort of decided to let it go. I did however feel hurt; as I thought he was a nice guy. But then I noticed him being a bit touchy another time... not as bad as the time before of course (no way I'd let him repeat that), but it still somehow managed to catch me off guard. I began to notice this sort of behavior from him towards others.

For example one day he called a member of staff up to the customer service area on the intercom. This guy was about 18, and somewhat short in height. He then reached into his personal space and grabbed his walkie-talkie off his belt! I didn't want to be nosy so I didn't look around. When I eventually did turn around I saw the young fella's walkie-talkie fall on the ground. He picked it up and the manager was laughing. The young fella was laughing too, but it looked like he was just laughing it off out of awkwardness. I sensed that he was somehow taking advantage of the fact that this young guy wouldn't know how to deal with such behavior. I knew something weird had happened so I looked at it on the cameras later. When my back was turned the manager walked straight into the young guy, presumably knowing that he'd move out of the way before their faces made contact. The young guy was taken completely by surprise and had to move out of the way so that the walkie-talkie fell to the floor.

Another day, as he was walking side by side with another male staff member, he hit him across the back side with some thing from around the store. He did it very casually, and the other guy did not react at all. I'd love to know what he was thinking when it was done to him. You know that feeling when something inappropriate is done to you from someone you'd least expect, and because they act like it's normal (and because it happens so fast), that you simply don't know how to react? I think he might have experienced a bit of that when this was done to him. Or at least I might have if it were me in his shoes. I tried to tell myself maybe it's not that big a deal, or maybe they know each other pretty well. But would he have done that to a girl?

I was actually able to save a clip from the security cameras of what happened with the young fella, with the walkie-talkie, to my USB. It clearly shows him almost walking right through to the guy It's clear that if he notices someone will tolerate this behavior, that he's a lot more likely to do it to them. Anyway, I don't like the way this manager has been acting lately, and it's stirred up the emotions from the time he walked into me. Also, I happen to have been offered a job elsewhere, so I think it suits me to burn the bridge here. I am planning on sending this clip I saved to the head office of the company chain, along with a letter detailing other incidents.

monkeysnapper

My advice although it might not be popular is to move to your new job and get on with your life ... let it go ...

Laughing with Me

monkeysnapper wrote: »

My advice although it might not be popular is to move to your new job and get on with your life ... let it go ...

I'm going to make a complaint alright. Only question is should I include the footage. I could really show him up with this footage though! If worst came to the worst, as regards the legality of such footage not being legally mine to send, it would only give me all the more pleasure.

Quadrivium

Laughing with Me wrote: »

I would like your advice on this matter. I work in a large store and have noticed that the head manager can be somewhat strange in ways. He can sometimes stand too close to me and can sometimes be a bit touchy. It might be something small, like when he'd point at something that would happen to be in my direction, his finger would go right up near my eye. He seems gay, but I'm told he's married.

I didn't think too much of it until one evening I delivered him bad news about a shoplifting incident that had occurred. After I'd told what was stolen he asked "and where were you?". I told him that I was doing a cash lift with another manager but I think I kind of stuttered when I said it, and maybe didn't sound too convincing. Anyway, as he walked past me he sort of walked into me with his shoulder, and then leaving his hand swing into my hip as he walked off. I didn't know how to react and didn't say anything. I tried to tell myself that he was just stressed. But I couldn't. I would never do that to someone myself unless I was on the pitch or something.

Anyway, due to days off / holidays, followed by the lockdown, I didn't end up seeing him after that for about another 3 months. I figured it was too long ago to bring up, and I sort of decided to let it go. I did however feel hurt; as I thought he was a nice guy. But then I noticed him being a bit touchy another time... not as bad as the time before of course (no way I'd let him repeat that), but it still somehow managed to catch me off guard. I began to notice this sort of behavior from him towards others.

For example one day he called a member of staff up to the customer service area on the intercom. This guy was about 18, and somewhat short in height. He then reached into his personal space and grabbed his walkie-talkie off his belt! I didn't want to be nosy so I didn't look around. When I eventually did turn around I saw the young fella's walkie-talkie fall on the ground. He picked it up and the manager was laughing. The young fella was laughing too, but it looked like he was just laughing it off out of awkwardness. I sensed that he was somehow taking advantage of the fact that this young guy wouldn't know how to deal with such behavior. I knew something weird had happened so I looked at it on the cameras later. When my back was turned the manager walked straight into the young guy, presumably knowing that he'd move out of the way before their faces made contact. The young guy was taken completely by surprise and had to move out of the way so that the walkie-talkie fell to the floor.

Another day, as he was walking side by side with another male staff member, he hit him across the back side with some thing from around the store. He did it very casually, and the other guy did not react at all. I'd love to know what he was thinking when it was done to him. You know that feeling when something inappropriate is done to you from someone you'd least expect, and because they act like it's normal (and because it happens so fast), that you simply don't know how to react? I think he might have experienced a bit of that when this was done to him. Or at least I might have if it were me in his shoes. I tried to tell myself maybe it's not that big a deal, or maybe they know each other pretty well. But would he have done that to a girl?

I was actually able to save a clip from the security cameras of what happened with the young fella, with the walkie-talkie, to my USB. It clearly shows him almost walking right through to the guy It's clear that if he notices someone will tolerate this behavior, that he's a lot more likely to do it to them. Anyway, I don't like the way this manager has been acting lately, and it's stirred up the emotions from the time he walked into me. Also, I happen to have been offered a job elsewhere, so I think it suits me to burn the bridge here. I am planning on sending this clip I saved to the head office of the company chain, along with a letter detailing other incidents.

It sounds to me like you're going out of your way to get offended.
I wish all I had was your problems.

You need to mature a bit and stop going out of your way to exaggerate every perceived transgression.

You're actually going to try to ruin someones life over such petty nonsense? Ridiculous.

Guffy

Absolutely share the footage that you saved from the companies security footage with HR department.

road_high

This whole story is bizzare. You sound like you’re following him around watching every interaction he has, even watching it on cctv which is just weird. Like as if you’re looking for “material” to incriminate him with.
The interaction you outline at the start makes no sense to me either- are you trying to say he touched you inappropriately deliberately or something?

TonyStark

Laughing with Me wrote: »

I was actually able to save a clip from the security cameras of what happened with the young fella, with the walkie-talkie, to my USB. It clearly shows him almost walking right through to the guy It's clear that if he notices someone will tolerate this behavior, that he's a lot more likely to do it to them. Anyway, I don't like the way this manager has been acting lately, and it's stirred up the emotions from the time he walked into me. Also, I happen to have been offered a job elsewhere, so I think it suits me to burn the bridge here. I am planning on sending this clip I saved to the head office of the company chain, along with a letter detailing other incidents.

This could very well be a matter for the Gardaí as this details the theft of personal data from a company.

blindsider

TonyStark wrote: »

This could very well be a matter for the Gardaí as this details the theft of personal data from a company.

Yep. You could also be dismissed for gross misconduct - even if you've handed in your notice.

I reckon this is covered in your company handbook under Unauthorised Use of IT Systems, GDPR, Privacy at work and anything else they put in there under Miscellaneous.

Mrs OBumble

Laughing with Me wrote: »

.... I think it suits me to burn the bridge here. I am planning on sending this clip I saved to the head office of the company chain, along with a letter detailing other incidents.

Don't send the clip , as other have said, there are issues with using the data.

But do send the letter and also delete your post contents from here, due to the chance he may search for it.

is_that_so

Laughing with Me wrote: »

I'm going to make a complaint alright. Only question is should I include the footage. I could really show him up with this footage though! If worst came to the worst, as regards the legality of such footage not being legally mine to send, it would only give me all the more pleasure.

I really wouldn't include footage as others have said, it's an ingrained habit with this person. It's ultimately a HR problem but it really does look like you're magnifying it.

You should also think about how you're going to complain. My approach would be to address it with him by telling him how uncool it was or make jokes about personal space or if needs be ask him not to do it. People tend to get the message quickly enough. Not everything needs to be an immediate recourse to a legal route. The impression here is that you can't fight your own battles and that's a life skill we all need.

Laughing with Me

Guffy wrote: »

Absolutely share the footage that you saved from the companies security footage with HR department.

But is that not theft of their CCTV proprety?

Laughing with Me

TonyStark wrote: »

This could very well be a matter for the Gardaí as this details the theft of personal data from a company.

I'd have often used the cameras as part of my job, so wasn't like I snuck into the room.

Augme

Laughing with Me wrote: »

But is that not theft of their CCTV proprety?

They were being sarcastic.

Laughing with Me

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

But do send the letter and also delete your post contents from here, due to the chance he may search for it.

There's a higher chance of pigs flying.

Laughing with Me

Augme wrote: »

They were being sarcastic.

You can't tell sarcasm in writing.

LawBoy2018

.

Sounds like the manager has a stalker.

IAMAMORON

Laughing with Me wrote: »

I would like your advice on this matter. I work in a large store and have noticed that the head manager can be somewhat strange in ways. He can sometimes stand too close to me and can sometimes be a bit touchy. It might be something small, like when he'd point at something that would happen to be in my direction, his finger would go right up near my eye. He seems gay, but I'm told he's married.

I didn't think too much of it until one evening I delivered him bad news about a shoplifting incident that had occurred. After I'd told what was stolen he asked "and where were you?". I told him that I was doing a cash lift with another manager but I think I kind of stuttered when I said it, and maybe didn't sound too convincing.

I also stopped believing you at this point. For a number of reasons.

1) Your story is far too long and your writing is very subjective. Albeit you have good articulation, which is not all that common in the security business.
2) Your speculation on his sexual preference is both derogatory and inconsequential to anyone's workplace behaviour. As a piece of advice be careful with your own finger pointing going forward, who or what any of your colleagues are riding is none of your business, until they are riding you.
3) Your stand out lie is your insinuation that it was your job to inform him of a shoplifting incident? As a point of protocol you would be obliged to inform the head of security , not the head manager. I assume you work in security, so why would you be attempting to tamper or utilise company property without first seeking approval?

None of your story adds up.

bobbyy gee

sexual harrasment


https://www.ihrec.ie/your-rights/i-have-an-issue-at-work/my-issue-is-about-sexual-harassment/

Laughing with Me

LawBoy2018 wrote: »

I sympathise with you OP! Two jobs ago, this weird guy kept coming up behind me + invading my personal space while I sat at my desk. He'd also like whisper to me (*shudder*) while he stood + crouched behind me. Normally I would have no problem addressing weird/confrontational situations but in this instance, I couldn't for some reason. He would also say very inappropriate things around me to gauge my reaction (or maybe I was being overly paranoid), but I had no problem calling him out/embarrassing him whenever there were other people around. He used to do the same thing to one of the lads sitting beside me.
.

You're sarcasm is immature and unhelpful.

LawBoy2018 wrote: »

I would not advise you to produce the CCTV material you stole (innocently and with the best of intentions I'm sure) + would advise you to destroy it. Feel free to report the incident to HR though if you feel that it's the right thing to do.

Without the footage it's just another complaint a bitter ex-employee. The guards could not give a toss about this technically being stolen property.

Rodney Bathgate

Dav010 wrote: »

Sounds like the manager has a stalker.

I know how he feels.

Laughing with Me

Quadrivium wrote: »

You're actually going to try to ruin someones life over such petty nonsense? Ridiculous.

I don't think it will ruin his life, but he might get a good telling off.

IAMAMORON

Laughing with Me wrote: »

I don't think it will ruin his life, but he might get a good telling off.

Stop it please, you really are leaking now.

smellyoldboot

Touch him back. Might be fun. You never know until you try....

Paul_Hacket

Guys, this is a troll.

JJayoo

From the original post it sounds like you're jealous

TonyStark

Laughing with Me wrote: »

I'd have often used the cameras as part of my job, so wasn't like I snuck into the room.

You removed personal data from your employers premises and loaded it onto a USB stick. That’s a crime.