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Advise needed re separation and living arrangements

  • 21-09-2020 5:14pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12


    Unfortunately I am in the process of separating from my wife of 3 years.

    We currently live in an apartment with her daughter from a previous relationship and have done so for the past 2 years. I also have a daughter from a previous relationship who comes down every second weekend.

    I have a mortgage on the apartment in my name only for the past 11 years.

    She also has a property with her previous partner which has been rented out since I have known her.

    She is looking me to move out and in with my parents but I am very reluctant to do so but she seems to think that she has equal rights to the apartment because we are married and it is classed as the family home.

    Any advise on this situation would be very welcomed.

    Thanks for reading


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,782 ✭✭✭Xterminator


    get legal counsel and do not move out. simply put if you move out her position is massively improved, and yu are on the back foot.

    PS remind her equal rights means you own half of her share too - ask her when she plans to offer you half the rent she gets for it backdated.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12 gc2685


    Thanks for this Xterminator, that was my gut feeling too.

    Although there is not much advise on line, the only thing that appears to be in my favour is this which I found on Citizen Information website.

    "If a cohabiting couple splits up, the family home (and other family assets) will belong to the person who holds the legal title to the home/assets. This means that in the case of the family home, the person who originally bought the house and whose name is on the title deeds will usually own the house.

    This also applies to a married couple who split up. Marriage does not automatically give you ownership of your spouse’s assets. Where the family home was bought and registered in both spouses’ names, they are the joint owners. However, where the house is registered in the name of one spouse only, it may be solely that spouse’s property."


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,395 ✭✭✭phormium


    You need legal advice, while you own the home she may have some entitlement to some portion or settlement but then again so may you to hers. It will all boil down to each individual case, there is no set rule here especially when you both owned properties before you married. Legal advice definitely and don't move out.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 695 ✭✭✭JimmyMW


    gc2685 wrote: »
    Unfortunately I am in the process of separating from my wife of 3 years.

    We currently live in an apartment with her daughter from a previous relationship and have done so for the past 2 years. I also have a daughter from a previous relationship who comes down every second weekend.

    I have a mortgage on the apartment in my name only for the past 11 years.

    She also has a property with her previous partner which has been rented out since I have known her.

    She is looking me to move out and in with my parents but I am very reluctant to do so but she seems to think that she has equal rights to the apartment because we are married and it is classed as the family home.

    Any advise on this situation would be very welcomed.

    Thanks for reading
    gc2685 wrote: »
    Thanks for this Xterminator, that was my gut feeling too.

    Although there is not much advise on line, the only thing that appears to be in my favour is this which I found on Citizen Information website.

    "If a cohabiting couple splits up, the family home (and other family assets) will belong to the person who holds the legal title to the home/assets. This means that in the case of the family home, the person who originally bought the house and whose name is on the title deeds will usually own the house.

    This also applies to a married couple who split up. Marriage does not automatically give you ownership of your spouse’s assets. Where the family home was bought and registered in both spouses’ names, they are the joint owners. However, where the house is registered in the name of one spouse only, it may be solely that spouse’s property."

    I'm in the middle of all of this too, prob a few weeks or months down the line from you, Do Not Move Out, get the best solicitor you can find, document everything, every conversation, every agreement. I am sorry to be so blunt about this but she is now the other side, she could be capable of absolutely anything, false accusations etc, you need to treat her and every interaction with her with this in mind. I made the mistake at the start of being too understanding and giving the benefit of the doubt, in hopes of reconciliation, it bite me in the ass, luckily I have a good solicitor and they managed to limit any potential damage by acting quickly.

    Your quote above from the citizen information is correct however can be overruled by other laws when it is the family home, your solicitor/barrister will guide you on all of this.

    I would love to say to you that I'm out the other side and it will all be fine, but I'm in the middle of it and it has been very tough so far, its a hard road so be ready mate, get your legal team behind you early, you don't have to use them, but be ready to if necessary.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12 gc2685


    Really appreciate the advise from everyone and will take it all on board, have contacted a solicitors so have started those wheels in motion


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20 jimbobjoe71


    The child's biological father has a legal obligation to house her, you don't.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,213 ✭✭✭utyh2ikcq9z76b


    I'd change the locks when they are out


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20 jimbobjoe71


    I'd change the locks when they are out

    Don't do this, there's a child involved it will traumatise them. Just hit a solicitor up and they'll tell you the legal way to get them to leave.


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