Long term Illness/Caring Guilt

0xzmro3n4y7lb5

Hi all

I’m a carer for my adult daughter.

Both of us are at risk, in vulnerable category at the lower end.

I have a day case surgical procedure due this week and I’m feeling a lot of guilt going into hospital.

I’ve rescheduled this twice since I started caring for her.

Now I fear Covid and bringing it into the home to her.

She had been coping better than adults not diagnosed with mental health disorders but the Food Preparation Plants outbreaks caused chaos in the house. Which I wasn’t prepared for.

I’m now fearful she’d be afraid of me when I come home and react badly.

It’s a a private hospital which I think reassures her.

Should I cancel again?

I live in a lot of pain but I don’t want to cause her anymore distress.


Thanks for your time.

Graces7

OP; I was recently in hospital in a medical emergency and the covid precautions were intense and punctilious.

Anyone who might conceivably have covid-19 was taken immediately to a separate unit in strict quarantine. As I had a high temp which is a symptom, that is where they were taking me until the helicopter paramedic told then where I live ie small offshore island .which is 100% covid-free.( I am cocooned)

All staff ie anyone who came into the hospital was masked. Cleaners, porters, catering staff as well as medical staff.

I was tested as a matter of course; negative. And I am high risk with other serious health issues. .

Tell the hospital your fears? And above all, take care of YOUR health and go ahead. Does your daughter need to know where you are going?

Wishing you well.

Tell me how

I had a family member spend time in hospital last week and they too found the precautions in relation to Covid to be extensive.

Would the hospital have a flyer or information sheet, or a notice on their website in relation to Covid that your daughter could read, or someone could read to her to help her feel more comfortable?

It's admirable that even while in pain, you're still thinking about what to do to make things easier for her.

Hope the procedure goes well and you get some relief from the pain.

0xzmro3n4y7lb5

Tell me how wrote: »

I had a family member spend time in hospital last week and they too found the precautions in relation to Covid to be extensive.

Would the hospital have a flyer or information sheet, or a notice on their website in relation to Covid that your daughter could read, or someone could read to her to help her feel more comfortable?

It's admirable that even while in pain, you're still thinking about what to do to make things easier for her.

Hope the procedure goes well and you get some relief from the pain.

Thank you. I received a booklet in the post and that had some information which she knows already.

I hope they’ll call this week with pre-assessment questions she’ll see that as proactive.

I’ve told her I’ll bring my mask and I got a visor too.

0xzmro3n4y7lb5

Graces7 wrote: »

OP; I was recently in hospital in a medical emergency and the covid precautions were intense and punctilious.

Anyone who might conceivably have covid-19 was taken immediately to a separate unit in strict quarantine. As I had a high temp which is a symptom, that is where they were taking me until the helicopter paramedic told then where I live ie small offshore island .which is 100% covid-free.( I am cocooned)

All staff ie anyone who came into the hospital was masked. Cleaners, porters, catering staff as well as medical staff.

I was tested as a matter of course; negative. And I am high risk with other serious health issues. .

Tell the hospital your fears? And above all, take care of YOUR health and go ahead. Does your daughter need to know where you are going?

Wishing you well.

Thank you very much and I hope you’re recovering well.

She knows now, if I didn’t tell her and she found out sure I’d be the worst in the world.

It’s reassuring to know everyone is in PPE

Hopefully this week I can relax her enough and keep her occupied not to be dwelling on it.

I haven't been sick at all but I had to have a scan in a hospital last week. It couldn't have been easier, much easier than before, no queues, no crowds, lots of precautions , hand sanitizing and PPE. Very happy with the experience.

OP you will be less able to take care of your daughter if you are in pain, this will get worse not better, so its not an option to put something like this off. In the case of an emergency during a flight they tell you to put the Oxygen mask on yourself before your child. That's a good pointer in circumstances like this. Look after yourself and you will be better able to look after you daughter. Good luck.

wildwillow

I had surgery and an overnight stay in a private hospital and felt safer than in any other circumstance.

Your health is important and delaying the procedure further is probably going to cause more difficulty in the long run.


Take the usual precautions and you will be fine

Graces7

Axton Elegant Lavatory wrote: »

Thank you very much and I hope you’re recovering well.

She knows now, if I didn’t tell her and she found out sure I’d be the worst in the world.

It’s reassuring to know everyone is in PPE

Hopefully this week I can relax her enough and keep her occupied not to be dwelling on it.

Even my GP visited in full PPE. They are very very aware and very very careful.
The first thing the helicopter paramedic did was make me put on a mask. Before I was even out of the car.

I was three days on a medical ward in a busy public hospital and never a worry.

Graces7

Tell me how wrote: »

I had a family member spend time in hospital last week and they too found the precautions in relation to Covid to be extensive.

Would the hospital have a flyer or information sheet, or a notice on their website in relation to Covid that your daughter could read, or someone could read to her to help her feel more comfortable?

It's admirable that even while in pain, you're still thinking about what to do to make things easier for her.

Hope the procedure goes well and you get some relief from the pain.

Being out here on an offshore island and with immune system issues I had not been offisland for many months before covid arrived so my "outing" was the fist time I had been to the "covid world" you all live in. We were all quarantined etc. It was a culture shock. But as others are saying, reassuring. I felt, as I was, totally safe.

0xzmro3n4y7lb5

Deleted User wrote: »

I haven't been sick at all but I had to have a scan in a hospital last week. It couldn't have been easier, much easier than before, no queues, no crowds, lots of precautions , hand sanitizing and PPE. Very happy with the experience.

OP you will be less able to take care of your daughter if you are in pain, this will get worse not better, so its not an option to put something like this off. In the case of an emergency during a flight they tell you to put the Oxygen mask on yourself before your child. That's a good pointer in circumstances like this. Look after yourself and you will be better able to look after you daughter. Good luck.

That's what I've been telling her, that places will be very quiet now.

I know you're right but just trying to keep a calm and happy home.

0xzmro3n4y7lb5

wildwillow wrote: »

I had surgery and an overnight stay in a private hospital and felt safer than in any other circumstance.

Your health is important and delaying the procedure further is probably going to cause more difficulty in the long run.


Take the usual precautions and you will be fine

Thank you, I hope you're recovering well.

I will be taking all the precautions, my hands are worn from washing.

I thankfully have a way in so don't have to use public transport.

0xzmro3n4y7lb5

Graces7 wrote: »

Even my GP visited in full PPE. They are very very aware and very very careful.
The first thing the helicopter paramedic did was make me put on a mask. Before I was even out of the car.

I was three days on a medical ward in a busy public hospital and never a worry.

Graces7 wrote: »

Being out here on an offshore island and with immune system issues I had not been offisland for many months before covid arrived so my "outing" was the fist time I had been to the "covid world" you all live in. We were all quarantined etc. It was a culture shock. But as others are saying, reassuring. I felt, as I was, totally safe.

That's reassuring Grace, I hope you're doing better.

I am envious of your island living but it must take a toll at times like this but it sounds like you were well taken care of.

Graces7

Axton Elegant Lavatory wrote: »

That's reassuring Grace, I hope you're doing better.

I am envious of your island living but it must take a toll at times like this but it sounds like you were well taken care of.

The Air Ambulance gets us to hospital in less than 20 minutes and was here very fast too. Where I lived in Kerry it took well over two hours even when the road vehicle arrived. I would not live anywhere else, and no covid-19 out here..

Are you feeling more at ease now? Hoping so.

0xzmro3n4y7lb5

Graces7 wrote: »

The Air Ambulance gets us to hospital in less than 20 minutes and was here very fast too. Where I lived in Kerry it took well over two hours even when the road vehicle arrived. I would not live anywhere else, and no covid-19 out here..

Are you feeling more at ease now? Hoping so.

Thanks very much I am now, didn't realise I was the one panicking till I saw it in black and white.

There was confirmation letter in the post today which outlined the precautions so that's reassuring too and I've been able to communicate that. So hopefully things will be calm.

wildwillow

You may not get called for ages again so go for it. Do you have someone safe to care for your daughter while you are away.

Make sure they also follow guidelines to to letter.

It's important that carers look after their own health and hopefully you will be pain free after this treatment.

I wish you the best of luck and courage.